Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Just Like Heaven

She crept so quietly into his dreams that Nathan barely noticed at first. The woman was a small, pale face at a window, a beautiful stranger waiting at a curb to cross at the light. So many different scenes, and she was there. Once Nathan registered her presence, she seemed to be everywhere, almost out of awareness. It was as if she did not want him to see her. She merely watched him, her violet eyes staring as Nathan fought his dream battles, or sought out quests. He wondered at it, this slip of femininity, so beautiful and frail, ethereal.

It wasn't long before Nathan found himself daydreaming, his thoughts of her coming to the front of his mind no matter how hard he tried to concentrate on his work. He imagined her as a new co-worker, as if his dreams of her were suddenly come to life. What would he say to her, he wondered. Would she even be interested in a guy like him, he thought, looking at his thin arms with disgust. Nathan thought of himself as no physical match for the men he saw at the gym.  Still, he could not deny that he was daydreaming about a figment of his imagination.  He should be worried about his mental state.  He should be concerned that his brain was faltering.

He was not concerned.  He was intrigued.

On this night, his dream took him to the edge of a cliff, the deep blue of the ocean revealing jagged rocks as the tide receded below.  Nathan had always feared falling; he shivered and stepped away.  Turning, he saw her, the moonlight silhouetting her body underneath the pale vintage nightgown she was wearing.  He stood perfectly still as she approached, her eyes darkening to amethyst as she stared at him.  Nathan breathed in the scent of her as she finally stopped in front of him; the smell of rosemary left a taste of her in the back of his throat, and he savored it. 

He wanted to speak, but was afraid to break the enchantment she had thrown about him.  He remained still, staring into her eyes. She finally stood on her tiptoes and pressed her lips softly to his, her delicate fingers brushing his cheek. Nathan closed his eyes in ecstasy, his entire being exalted.  He had the barest sensation of her movement, a slight breeze as she passed him.  Surprised, he turned, aware of the cliffs behind him.

He was too late.  The girl stepped out into the air, suspended for a moment.  Nathan's heart stopped as she looked over her shoulder, her eyes meeting his.

"Follow," she said, and disappeared. Nathan peered over the edge; he could see her, the distance between them becoming impossible.

He followed.

I used the picture, and while I was writing this, that Cure song kept playing in my head, so that's why the title. 

Image courtesy of Unsplash.


  1. I was reminded of the superstition that if you die in your dreams you die in real life. I wonder if he woke up. I loved the detail in the description, and I wonder if he felt like he was being hunted? So intriguing. Lyssa M

  2. oh, yes, sometimes the urge and the yearning is too strong.
    To die, but to live (with the dream, inside the dream)?

    it felt dreamlike, fuzzy and floaty and delicate. I hope they are happy together somewhere.

  3. Wow. This is beautiful and chilling all at once. You did a fantastic job of setting the mood, and even better, maintaining it. I've got goosebumps still. This is just wonderful.

  4. I loved the use of the dream as the vehicle for their connection. I thought you did a great job of creating the dreamscape and Nathan's challenge -- to be her or not? Your descriptions were also well done. I could picture Nathan, as well as the girl. Another thing I liked was how you gradually increased his need for her in the story. It kept me reading and while I suspected the ending, it was still the right one:~)

    It's nice to know someone corrects the spelling. Do you also add missing words? This is a big issue for me. I've returned to sites and re-read a comment I left and will find several words are missing...

    One constructive comment: There were a couple of sentences using the word "that." In these cases the word could be removed and the sentence would read just fine. Here's one example: "Still, he could not deny that he was daydreaming about a figment of his imagination." Now try it without the word "that:" "Still, he could not deny he was daydreaming about a figment of his imagination." I only bring this up because it saves words and because it's always an issue with me, as well:~)

  5. I loved this too...and of course he followed, helpless to do otherwise... What a sweet, but potentially deadly obsession love can be, and you painted that picture perfectly!

    Great song and great title too, by the way!


I welcome comments, but reserve the right to correct your spelling because I am OCD about it!