Friday, December 30, 2022

2022: The Year That Ran Away Very Fast

 I woke up the other morning and realized that it is about to be 2022.  Then I really woke up, because it is about to be 2023.  Say that to yourself.  I'll wait. 

What happened to 2022? It seems as though we just began this year, and it is already over?  I was going to do the usual, lose a bunch of weight and finish up my doctorate, finally clean my house, and travel the world.  I was going to craft my little heart out, relax more, and be ridiculously happy.  

Only none of those things happened.  Instead, I slugged my way through a year that felt rushed, like there was a bouncer behind the curtain saying "Move along" over and over.  Events that happened in January 2022 feel like they happened at least three years ago.  Maybe it was that the pandemic seemed to be finished (it is not) or that life was getting back to some semblance of normal.  Maybe it was the medication my doctor prescribed me for sleep (maybe?).  Maybe the world just began to move at its former pace, but no one got the memo or we just put our fingers in our ears.  Stuff happened, but it mostly did not register, because more stuff happened.  

I got moved to a high school for the first time since 1994.  I love it, of course, but it is a bit more fast paced now.  Of course, there have been a number of security changes since the tragedy in Uvalde.  I will get upset about that, but mostly angry.  I firmly believe that if you kill something, you eat it.  That is an established rule in our family. I think that this should be the rule of law in Texas.  You get convicted of shooting someone?  Here is your fork and a bib.  I think that this would at least make a person pause before committing murder.   Nobody needs these assault rifles in civilian life. 

We found a kitten with a lot of health problems, who did not live very long. I had never seen a cat have a seizure before, so it was a shock to see the little precious go flying out of my husband's arms all the way over the coffee table.  She was beautiful, and we named her Galadriel, but she succumbed to her illness after six happy months with us. It was a family decision. The vet we took her to allowed all of us to be in the room, and Larry got to hold her.  I still miss that spunky kitty, and every other animal that has passed over the rainbow bridge. 

My son started HIGH SCHOOL. I am still not over that.  HIGH SCHOOL.  He is enjoying himself, and informed me that he wants to get his drivers license when he turns 16.  "But you just GOT to HIGH SCHOOL!!!"  I told him, and then went into my room and cried in secret, as you do.  Meanwhile, my boy is heading toward six feet while eating every item of food in the house.  Typical boy.  I am trying to let him make some decisions for himself, even if in my head I am explaining why his decision is not a good decision. The boy needs to find out for himself, and there is only one way that happens. I was a dork in high school, too.  

We finally watched Yellowstone.  By the end of the first episode, I turned to Larry and said, "Sopranos of the West." He agreed.  Kevin Costner's character is Tony Soprano, that guy Rip is his consigliere, etc.  The reservation people are a rival gang.  All the dudes with the brand are made men.  No sin to move a classic show like the Sopranos into Montana and call it something new, but they should have been more honest about it. 

World Cup was very exciting--I picked Argentina to win, but since I am bad at gambling, I forgot to sign up or did not sign up correctly. But almost every game was a nail biter!  Congratulations to Argentina for their heroic play. You can go ahead and brag until 2026.  Messi and I share a birthday, so I take just a tiny bit of pride in his win.  A teeny-tiny bit. I am so happy for him, and he deserves all of the accolades he gets. 

And Donald Trump is still an idiot who deserves some slapping, and it looks like he might actually get it.  I would volunteer.  Maybe like that scene in Airplane!, we can have a line of citizens ready to slap waiting outside the courthouse. 

Happy New Year!  May 2023 slow down enough so that you can enjoy it!  

Sunday, February 27, 2022

Are the 80s back?

I feel as though the 1980s are repeating themselves, what with Russia acting the fool and trying to bully the rest of the world.  War, particularly the nuclear kind, was one of the main topics of conversation when I was in high school, right next to what Mr. Stant was teaching in senior English. The entire era of the 80s was all about the bombs dropping, end of the world, so party hard NOW.  Russia's at it again, it seems, and now my son is talking about Ukraine with his friends.  More horrible decision appear to be heading our way, mostly in the form of higher gas prices.  

Then I thought about all of the actual horrible decisions I made in the 1980s, including spiral perms and college Trash Can Punch. For the unenlightened, you buy a clean trash can and pour ALL of the alcohol in there, and throw in some Kool-aid for flavor.  If I remember correctly, the concoction tastes like nuclear waste of some sort.  The hangovers were ridiculously painful, and we all swore that we would NEVER drink that stuff again, just beer.  That promise was never kept, because generally the punch was free and the beer was not.  College was a time of frugality, after all.  

Other aspects of the 80s appear to be showing up in stores, such as the Little House on the Prairie dresses.  The show was all right, and maybe I had ONE dress that might have qualified as prairie-wear, but I looked as though I were dressed in a sack wearing it. Actually, I think the dress was made by Gunny Sak, so that makes sense. Not in the least bit attractive.  And what is with all the long hair with a middle part?  Is there some strange, poorly dressed cult out there that I don't know about?  Not that there's anything wrong with that, I suppose.  I just find it odd that women who are coming in to their own would enjoy looking like every other woman. 

Thankfully, Cabbage Patch kids have NOT made a comeback. 

My point is that maybe the 80s are better off in the past. It wasn't a horrible time, but I cringe now thinking about the decisions I made with my hair (like an accidental mullet), my fashion sense, and my social life.  It was a darn good thing that there was no such thing as a smart phone back then.  Perhaps everyone could just repeat the trends that were popular 100 years ago, instead of the 80s?  How about if we repeat the trends of the 1920s.  The Jazz Age, short haircuts, flappers, those cute little dresses with the fringe and the adorable hats?  Those were the bee's knees!  




Friday, November 26, 2021

Porn Alert

We were in Walmart looking for the drinks we usually offer to bring for the annual Thanksgiving hullabaloo. Just the usual beer, wine, soda, and tea.  That means that Zane and I take our time and look around, since Dad isn't prodding us to hurry up before we spend more money.  

"Mom!! Come quick! There's PORN!!!"

Really, what do YOU hear about while shopping with your kid? 

My first thought regarded the idea of porn in a Walmart as completely ridiculous, before I remembered the vibrators I had just seen in the pharmacy section.  

That thought made me approach Zane cautiously, so as to respond appropriately.  It doesn't do to completely freak out in front of a teenager; that is the entertainment that keeps on giving for years.  
And indeed, there was porn.  The word was right there on the cover of the magazine, there for all kids who can read to see.  It was actually right at the four- to six-year old eye level.  I'd just walked right past it, because the sexualization of guns in America gives me hives.  

But Zane did.  And he wanted to know about the porn.  Which wasn't really porn, just a word on the cover of a magazine designed to make the reader buy the magazine and take it home to peruse in the privacy of their own home.  The word 'porn' is like the bell Pavlov used to get his dogs to salivate, particularly people who don't understand that they are being played.  So my son and I had a lively discussion about propaganda and advertising and classical conditioning, and how they all play a role in capitalism.  

I'll probably get a phone call from the school on Monday.  I am actually looking forward to explaining the entire situation.

Also, dear Walmart, where I tend to shop often because you are less than a mile from my house, Please put all the gun magazines ABOVE waist level, so the babies are not exposed to such violent content.  Thank you.