Saturday, January 25, 2020

2020 is Here. When Did That Happen?

Somehow, I let an entire year go by without blogging.  I had ideas, and I meant to get them down, but my computer seemed so far away.  Life has a way of slipping by you when you're doing something else, I guess.  I'll try to pay more attention this year.

In the meantime, the Orange Dude continues his aggravating destruction of our country.  I generally am not a political type, but how can normally intelligent people not see what is happening?  I know maybe one-tenth of what the lawyers and others know, and even I can see that something is fishy. It is really difficult for me not to be extremely rude to people who are rabid Trumpies, but I make the effort.  I'm trying to be a nicer person, remember?

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I worked with an elementary student this week.  He informed me that he had made up a joke, and I was game to listen. 

Kid:  "What happened when the bear died?"

Me:  "I don't know. What happened?"

Kid:  "He was BEAR-ied!" 

I laughed. I have always been a fan of word-play, and that was pretty good. 

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I am just going to say it:  I like watching true crime. I'm listening to Snapped right now.  I seem to spend a whole bunch of time, while watching these shows, criticizing the people in the books and shows. 

"You cut up a body and left it RIGHT next to the roadside?  ARE YOU STUPID?" 

I am not sure when I started to do that, but I want to assure others that I have never engaged in any such shenanigans.  That I know of.  I don't think that I have an evil twin.

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The Bloggess is opening a bookstore in my town.  I'm very excited, because, books.  Now I just have to find someone to go with me.  I love bookstores, but they tend to suck me in to their embrace.  I would probably live in one if I could figure out where to put all of my stuff.  And if there was a kitchen.  And a shower.  Maybe a cat or three.

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That's it for now.  More later. Everyone have a wonderful week!


Thursday, January 3, 2019

Adulting 101: The Guilt of Resolutions

"What are your resolutions for the New Year?"

There is no question asked, every January, that strikes more fear in the hearts of adults.  If you say that you don't "do" resolutions, you get a lecture about adults and goal setting. If you stammer out some sort of sentence that resembles a goal, then you get an interrogation regarding the best way to formulate a resolution, because yours is terrible.  It's definitely a no-win, all around, especially if the person lecturing you is not the paragon of virtue they are pretending to be. 

You know who you are.  

When I first became an adult, and everyone started pestering me about resolutions, I was willing to give them a try. Create a grand goal toward the betterment of myself as a person?  Count me in, fellow adults!  I resolved to lose 47 pounds and be more tolerant of stupidity.  Easy, right?  Nope.  Too lofty, I was told.  Too unrealistic.  Fine, I grumbled.  I'll just lose the 47 pounds. Wait, now I actually have to DO this thing?

I started off the year on a good note, buying healthy food and setting up an exercise program. I was proud of myself.   By January 5th, I'd skipped at least one workout and eaten half a dozen donuts that someone left at work.

That's when the guilt sets in. Tremendous guilt. Your brain castigates you for not having any will power:  Why can't you just walk away from the donuts?  You didn't even let your coworkers get one! Shame! Shame! Shame! What is wrong with you, Fatty McThunderthighs?  If your brain is like mine, you may be able to rally your resolve for a few days longer.  You may even make it to the end of the the month.  Sooner or later, though, you've dropped all your resolutions and dissolved into a messy puddle of guilt and melted ice cream. I'm a terrible adult, I've told myself, wallowing in self-pity. 

Why?  Because someone told you that you should?  Because some sort of artificial establishment of society says that I have to?  Because you're an adult and that is what adults do? 

No.  The thing about being an adult is that YOU get to decide what works for YOU.  Are you the goal setting type?  That is wonderful!  Go for it!  Have a short attention span?  Maybe set up some micro resolutions that can be met weekly or even daily.  Tend to eat your feelings?  Focus on eating more fruits and veggies instead.  There's no guilt involved.  It's a resolution, not an all-or-nothing scenario.

Failure will happen, yes. This is part of being an adult. If everyone reached their goal on the first day of January, there wouldn't be this billion dollar industry set up around resolutions.  If you don't meet your goal today, you get to try again, and again, until you reach that goal or you decide to try something different.  Get up, dust yourself off, and do your best.  Don't worry about the top of the mountain, just focus on the climb. 

One rock at a time, until you get there, however long it takes.   That's what adults do.

Sunday, December 9, 2018

Adulting 101: Making Mistakes

There isn't an organism out there that hasn't made an oopsie. A boo boo. An error. A faux pas. Everybody makes mistakes.  It's life.  You pick yourself up and hope that you didn't break anything.  Kids are expected to make mistakes. They fall down, bump their glass of milk over, or write their name for the first time on the wall in the hallway.  Parents expect their kids to make mistakes, and if they don't, they have no business being parents. 

I was paranoid when my son started walking, because his head size was at the 99th percentile.  He was top heavy, at least until the rest of his body caught up.  I expected him to fall, and I tried to be there to catch him, or just to give him an ice pack and hold him while he cried.  Most of us would do anything to prevent our children from being hurt, but they eventually hit their head, or skin their knee. Or break one of their mother's special crystal glasses that are only for GUESTS.  Or leave their mother's favorite stuffed animal, the one that she's had since she was 8 years old, on the floor for the dog to chew the eyes out. *sigh* 

Mistakes are expected of children. We know they will make mistakes,  and we are there to help them get over it. Mistakes are one of the ways kids learn. It's okay for them. We encourage them to try things, to fall down, and get back up.

Adults, not so much.  Why is that?  We don't all of a sudden become perfect when we hit eighteen, yet we expect ourselves to be.  Who told us that?

That's a baldfaced lie. 

Nobody is perfect.   Even God created mosquitoes. 

Did you make a mistake?  Here's three things to do to make things better.

1. Own it.  There's nothing more frustrating than someone who will not take responsibility for their actions. Some people will stare at a video of themselves committing an act, and will still flat out deny they did it. Why? If you did it, admit it.  Yep, that was me who accidentally set your faux fur coat on fire. Heh. Who knew synthetic fur was so flammable? 

2. Fix it.  Would it kill you to apologize?  Would your brain explode as the words left your mouth?  Would it be the end of the world?  No.  No. And also, NO.  Those idiots who insist that one should never apologize are wrong. Apologize, make amends, buy them a new faux fur. At least make an effort to repair whatever damage you've caused.

3. Forgive it.  This is the most difficult part. Say that you screwed up, mea culpa, etc. Then move on. Forgive yourself.  Don't dwell on some mistake you made in high school, when you accidentally called the handsomest boy in school the wrong name at an assembly. Why carry all that extra baggage around? Yet many of us remember these relatively minor events as if they're fresh, as if the mountain of mistakes should bury us. We deserve it. Self flagellation is not a good look on anyone. Let it go, as the song says. It will take effort, but will be worth it.

Now go adult.