"What are your resolutions for the New Year?"
There is no question asked, every January, that strikes more fear in the hearts of adults. If you say that you don't "do" resolutions, you get a lecture about adults and goal setting. If you stammer out some sort of sentence that resembles a goal, then you get an interrogation regarding the best way to formulate a resolution, because yours is terrible. It's definitely a no-win, all around, especially if the person lecturing you is not the paragon of virtue they are pretending to be.
You know who you are.
When I first became an adult, and everyone started pestering me about resolutions, I was willing to give them a try. Create a grand goal toward the betterment of myself as a person? Count me in, fellow adults! I resolved to lose 47 pounds and be more tolerant of stupidity. Easy, right? Nope. Too lofty, I was told. Too unrealistic. Fine, I grumbled. I'll just lose the 47 pounds. Wait, now I actually have to DO this thing?
I started off the year on a good note, buying healthy food and setting up an exercise program. I was proud of myself. By January 5th, I'd skipped at least one workout and eaten half a dozen donuts that someone left at work.
That's when the guilt sets in. Tremendous guilt. Your brain castigates you for not having any will power: Why can't you just walk away from the donuts? You didn't even let your coworkers get one! Shame! Shame! Shame! What is wrong with you, Fatty McThunderthighs? If your brain is like mine, you may be able to rally your resolve for a few days longer. You may even make it to the end of the the month. Sooner or later, though, you've dropped all your resolutions and dissolved into a messy puddle of guilt and melted ice cream. I'm a terrible adult, I've told myself, wallowing in self-pity.
Why? Because someone told you that you should? Because some sort of artificial establishment of society says that I have to? Because you're an adult and that is what adults do?
No. The thing about being an adult is that YOU get to decide what works for YOU. Are you the goal setting type? That is wonderful! Go for it! Have a short attention span? Maybe set up some micro resolutions that can be met weekly or even daily. Tend to eat your feelings? Focus on eating more fruits and veggies instead. There's no guilt involved. It's a resolution, not an all-or-nothing scenario.
Failure will happen, yes. This is part of being an adult. If everyone reached their goal on the first day of January, there wouldn't be this billion dollar industry set up around resolutions. If you don't meet your goal today, you get to try again, and again, until you reach that goal or you decide to try something different. Get up, dust yourself off, and do your best. Don't worry about the top of the mountain, just focus on the climb.
One rock at a time, until you get there, however long it takes. That's what adults do.
Showing posts with label resolutions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label resolutions. Show all posts
Thursday, January 3, 2019
Thursday, January 8, 2015
I Don't Do Resolutions
At one time, I thought that resolutions were required of an adult. As a child, I heard the adults around me speaking of their resolutions every January. They were all going to lose seventy-five pounds in thirty days, quit smoking, and become a millionaire. There surely had to be a few realistic resolutions out there, but I don't remember any of those. I only remember the grand resolutions.
There's probably some obscure psychological reason for that.
I can remember thinking that these resolutions I was hearing about were a bit impossible; I didn't think that my father would EVER quit smoking, for example. Even after my mother quit, and made my father go outside to smoke, he kept puffing away. We were living in Washington D.C., and had just had five feet of snow plopped down on us, and my dad was out there shoveling himself a place to smoke. And then he decided to quit one day, and that was that. He didn't make a resolution to do it; he just did. I never heard him specifically say "I quit" until he asked me to show him how to crochet a granny square.
When I became an official adult, I did the adult thing and made some resolutions. I was going to lose thirty pounds, find a rich husband, and own all the books ever. Or something like that. I think I actually gained thirty pounds that year, and my quest to own all the books was thwarted by authors writing more books. Never mind the rich husband. I was a smart girl, surely I could make my own way in the world.
Year after year, there I was on January 1st, resolving something. And year after year, there I was on January 31st, feeling guilty/angry/depressed. Occasionally, I would attempt to just get right back on that wagon, try to meet that resolution at least one more time. Things never ended well. I gained the weight I'd planned to lose. I became ill and couldn't exercise more, or keep the house clean, or whatever.
I realized that my tendency toward making resolutions had to do with meeting other people's expectations than my own. It was a topic of conversation at work, our resolutions. Weight contests were started; exercise groups were formed. If you didn't keep up, the others looked at you with pity, and who needs that?
So I just stopped. I resolved to not do resolutions. I didn't talk about resolutions. I didn't even mention them. If someone asked me about my resolutions, I would just smile and ask them about theirs. I realized that I didn't need to meet anyone else's expectations, just my own. It was amazing how much weight lifted off my shoulders that year. No guilt or anger or depression. No pressure to do anything...except be. I decided to start eating more fruits and vegetables, and walking more instead of taking the elevator.
And then, one day, I had lost thirty pounds. Without a resolution at all.
Check out the other writers at Mamakat's.
1. Share your 2015 New Year’s Resolution. How did last year’s turn out?
There's probably some obscure psychological reason for that.
I can remember thinking that these resolutions I was hearing about were a bit impossible; I didn't think that my father would EVER quit smoking, for example. Even after my mother quit, and made my father go outside to smoke, he kept puffing away. We were living in Washington D.C., and had just had five feet of snow plopped down on us, and my dad was out there shoveling himself a place to smoke. And then he decided to quit one day, and that was that. He didn't make a resolution to do it; he just did. I never heard him specifically say "I quit" until he asked me to show him how to crochet a granny square.
When I became an official adult, I did the adult thing and made some resolutions. I was going to lose thirty pounds, find a rich husband, and own all the books ever. Or something like that. I think I actually gained thirty pounds that year, and my quest to own all the books was thwarted by authors writing more books. Never mind the rich husband. I was a smart girl, surely I could make my own way in the world.
Year after year, there I was on January 1st, resolving something. And year after year, there I was on January 31st, feeling guilty/angry/depressed. Occasionally, I would attempt to just get right back on that wagon, try to meet that resolution at least one more time. Things never ended well. I gained the weight I'd planned to lose. I became ill and couldn't exercise more, or keep the house clean, or whatever.
I realized that my tendency toward making resolutions had to do with meeting other people's expectations than my own. It was a topic of conversation at work, our resolutions. Weight contests were started; exercise groups were formed. If you didn't keep up, the others looked at you with pity, and who needs that?
So I just stopped. I resolved to not do resolutions. I didn't talk about resolutions. I didn't even mention them. If someone asked me about my resolutions, I would just smile and ask them about theirs. I realized that I didn't need to meet anyone else's expectations, just my own. It was amazing how much weight lifted off my shoulders that year. No guilt or anger or depression. No pressure to do anything...except be. I decided to start eating more fruits and vegetables, and walking more instead of taking the elevator.
And then, one day, I had lost thirty pounds. Without a resolution at all.
Check out the other writers at Mamakat's.
1. Share your 2015 New Year’s Resolution. How did last year’s turn out?
Monday, December 30, 2013
Resolved
Resolved:
Happy.
Healthy.
New Year's resolution in three words is this week's prompt. This was hard, mostly because I don't make resolutions. Really, who needs that kind of pressure? I suppose that everyone needs to have some sort of a goal to work toward, however. My usual goals involve savoring good foods and fine wines, or a newly acquired piece of chocolate. I tend to avoid the lofty goals, because what I really need most is to live in the moment, something that I tend to forget. But the two goals I finally selected are ones that I probably should focus on more often.
Happy.
Healthy.
New Year's resolution in three words is this week's prompt. This was hard, mostly because I don't make resolutions. Really, who needs that kind of pressure? I suppose that everyone needs to have some sort of a goal to work toward, however. My usual goals involve savoring good foods and fine wines, or a newly acquired piece of chocolate. I tend to avoid the lofty goals, because what I really need most is to live in the moment, something that I tend to forget. But the two goals I finally selected are ones that I probably should focus on more often.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Hello, 2013!
Mamakat's wonderful prompt: 4.) Resolutions. Love'em? Hate'em? Tell us why. Make one? Talk about your resolutions or goals for 2013.
Yep. It's the time that people trot out resolutions about how they are going to lose thirty pounds and find religion. While I am a firm believer that everyone should have a goal to pursue, I also understand that many of us set impossibly unreachable goals, which we fail spectacularly. We then feel justified in doing the exact opposite of what we vowed to do in the first place. It's impossible, we tell ourselves, as we finish off the last gallon of ice cream at Baskin-Robbins.
I'm not casting stones.
I myself have a tendency toward lofty goal-setting, particularly when it comes to losing weight. I see other people dropping weight quickly, not dieting or restricting themselves, and I think "Oh, that's easy." Overestimating my ability to resist food has been a lifelong affliction. I can't help it. Cheeseburgers call to me. Fresh donuts have the power to pull my attention if they are anywhere in a ten-mile radius.
It's a never ending quest, this battle of the bulge.
I can say 'no' to french fries, most days, and I consider that significant progress. Onion rings are an iffy proposition, however, as are fried pickles. Something about fried pickles just gets my mouth watering, and then it's all over. I'm thinking about fried pickles right now, as a matter of fact, and I'm practically drooling. I am a bit ashamed to admit that, but it is true. Fortunately, I don't know any place around here that sells fried pickles at this hour, otherwise I'd be there now, ordering some.
Other people go on about their will power and how they used it to conquer cravings for cigarettes, alcohol, and other vices. I'd like to say that my will power is strong, that I can resist. Often, my resolve is firm, and I am able to resist snacking, and I can order a salad without a twinge. This tends to lull me into a false sense of security, so that when a true craving hits, I am blindsided, helpless to resist. And if I am supposed to be on a diet, that just makes it worse.
I don't think that I need therapy. I don't have a food addiction. I just like to eat. Food tastes good. I love eating salads just as much as I love a good cheeseburger. No, my issue is portion control. This is what I want to work on in 2013. I tend to clean my plate, and maybe I would be better off just eating half. So that is what I am going to work on this year--eating half. Maybe if I work on that, it won't seem like a diet, I won't feel restricted, and I won't have cravings.
It's worth a shot.
What is your goal for the new year?
Yep. It's the time that people trot out resolutions about how they are going to lose thirty pounds and find religion. While I am a firm believer that everyone should have a goal to pursue, I also understand that many of us set impossibly unreachable goals, which we fail spectacularly. We then feel justified in doing the exact opposite of what we vowed to do in the first place. It's impossible, we tell ourselves, as we finish off the last gallon of ice cream at Baskin-Robbins.
I'm not casting stones.
I myself have a tendency toward lofty goal-setting, particularly when it comes to losing weight. I see other people dropping weight quickly, not dieting or restricting themselves, and I think "Oh, that's easy." Overestimating my ability to resist food has been a lifelong affliction. I can't help it. Cheeseburgers call to me. Fresh donuts have the power to pull my attention if they are anywhere in a ten-mile radius.
It's a never ending quest, this battle of the bulge.
I can say 'no' to french fries, most days, and I consider that significant progress. Onion rings are an iffy proposition, however, as are fried pickles. Something about fried pickles just gets my mouth watering, and then it's all over. I'm thinking about fried pickles right now, as a matter of fact, and I'm practically drooling. I am a bit ashamed to admit that, but it is true. Fortunately, I don't know any place around here that sells fried pickles at this hour, otherwise I'd be there now, ordering some.
Other people go on about their will power and how they used it to conquer cravings for cigarettes, alcohol, and other vices. I'd like to say that my will power is strong, that I can resist. Often, my resolve is firm, and I am able to resist snacking, and I can order a salad without a twinge. This tends to lull me into a false sense of security, so that when a true craving hits, I am blindsided, helpless to resist. And if I am supposed to be on a diet, that just makes it worse.
I don't think that I need therapy. I don't have a food addiction. I just like to eat. Food tastes good. I love eating salads just as much as I love a good cheeseburger. No, my issue is portion control. This is what I want to work on in 2013. I tend to clean my plate, and maybe I would be better off just eating half. So that is what I am going to work on this year--eating half. Maybe if I work on that, it won't seem like a diet, I won't feel restricted, and I won't have cravings.
It's worth a shot.
What is your goal for the new year?
Sunday, January 9, 2011
One Small Kindness Counts Big
All around me, people are resolving to do things differently in 2011. They are going to lose 400 pounds, exercise 14 hours a day, and become perfect. This is the year, they tell me. These grandiose plans last about as long as it takes for the average coffeemaker to make a pot of coffee, and then they are dismissed. Until next year, anyway.
What if instead of resolving to be perfect this year, we all resolve to perform one small kindness to one another every day? To say 'hello' and smile to people we pass on the street? To help a grumpy elderly person? To talk for a few minutes with a person who looks lonely? To hold the door open for a mother holding her child and 40 packages? To smile and speak pleasantly to the service people at banks and stores, even when you've waited in a long line?
These are little things, I know. There is certainly nothing grandiose about doing one small kindness for one person every day. I believe that the energy that a person sends out into the world comes back to that person threefold. I also believe that there is too much negativity in the world today, and I know that we as individuals can choose to change our own behavior. However, I think that each of us doing one small kindness for one person every single day will add up to something very grand indeed. I hope that you will resolve to make 2011 a kinder year for all.
What if instead of resolving to be perfect this year, we all resolve to perform one small kindness to one another every day? To say 'hello' and smile to people we pass on the street? To help a grumpy elderly person? To talk for a few minutes with a person who looks lonely? To hold the door open for a mother holding her child and 40 packages? To smile and speak pleasantly to the service people at banks and stores, even when you've waited in a long line?
These are little things, I know. There is certainly nothing grandiose about doing one small kindness for one person every day. I believe that the energy that a person sends out into the world comes back to that person threefold. I also believe that there is too much negativity in the world today, and I know that we as individuals can choose to change our own behavior. However, I think that each of us doing one small kindness for one person every single day will add up to something very grand indeed. I hope that you will resolve to make 2011 a kinder year for all.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)