Adulting 101: Your Parents Are Google.

Adulting is a verb right now.  I'm pretty sure that this version of  "adulting"  is the equivalent of "manning up", or "putting on your big girl panties".  Behaving in an appropriate manner in public, for example.  Making the difficult decision about whether to eat or pay the electric bill.  Talking to your children about sex without giggling.  Figuring out which end to put the diaper on.  Important, but life changing, information.

It used to be that kids learned these adulting secrets by watching their parents.  When moms stayed at home, back before electricity, her children got to see her perform a variety of tasks, such as cooking, household management, and childcare.  Dads, when they weren't at work, usually demonstrated basic lawn maintenance, the proper posture required for watching Sunday football, and how to change your own oil.  Theoretically, your parents should be preparing you to be an adult. When you hit that magic age where you move out on your own, it is expected that you will be able to handle everything.

This is nothing but a baldfaced lie.

There are just too many concepts and ideas for parents to teach their children in a single lifetime. It's impossible to even anticipate all of the even remotely probable events that will happen in one lifetime.  The reality is that, no matter how old you may be, you still need the older generation.  I am in my 50s.  People ask me stuff all the time, and I know the answers.  If you have a child in need of special education, I'm the woman to ask.  If you're interested in obscure facts or historical events, I'm the go-to.  I know way more about serial killers than is probably normal.  I can also tell you if you need to go see a doctor for various random ailments.  Just don't ask me which settings on the washer will remove ring-around-the-collar. I don't even know what that is.

I STILL call my parents to ask them stuff.  Just last night, I sent my mom a very important text:

"Can you freeze ham*?"

I've called my mother many times, not to chat(we aren't a chatty family), but for many crises in my life:

"The recipe calls for one egg, but when I cracked the egg, there were two yolks.  What does that mean?"  

"How do I keep from setting the kitchen on fire?"

"Can the baby eat strawberries/watermelon/broccoli/whatever, or is he too young?" 

"Is there a way to clean baby poop out of the tub, or do we have to move?"

My dad is not exempt from these calls or texts, either:

"There's a snake over here, Dad.  Looks rattlesnake-ish, but no rattle.  Run, or pick it up and throw over the fence?"

"Hey Dad, which wrench do I use to turn off the water to the house? And do you know a good plumber?"

If you think about it a moment, our parents are exactly what Google and other companies are trying to market.  If Alexa not only told you the weather, but also reminded you to put on a jacket so you don't get sick, that would be my mom.  Or your mom. We will always want to ask our parents for the answers, in most cases, even when we are supposed to be "adults".  There's something comforting about being able to pick up the phone, and it is depressing to think that someday a parent won't be around to answer the phone or texts.   Maybe Google will one day offer an option, where you can have your mom's voice answer you instead of  Alexa.

Although MY mom's voice would also be telling me, unsolicited, that my house is a mess, and that I should dust the ceiling fans, fer cryin' out loud.   Adulting is hard, but we don't always have to do it all alone.  Call or text your parents. Ask them all those nagging questions about eggs, and ham, and home maintenance, that you think that you're supposed to know.  Heck, even ask them what ring-around-the-collar is.  It will make them feel needed, and you will learn something that may prove useful later, when your own children are calling to ask these same questions.

**For the twenty or so readers who are waiting for the answer, yes, you can freeze ham, and no, you don't have to double the recipe if there's two yolks in one egg. And Clorox cures a multitude of ills, apparently.   

Confessions of a Nerd

Hi, my name is Tina and I am a nerd.

I have been a nerd as long as I can remember.  I've always been a bit eccentric and off in my own world.  The first book that I ever wanted to read, when I was five, was Gray's Anatomy.  I had a habit of bursting into song at random intervals during second grade...which gave my teachers fits. I often got lost in museums, not because I wandered off, but because my parents kept forgetting that I liked to read all the little placards underneath each exhibit.

When other kids were outside playing, I was in my room, stalking the dark underbelly of Gotham City with Neal Adams' Batman.  To this day I would argue that the Joker is the biggest villain in literature, Tolkien be darned.  My parents could never buy enough books for me;  within hours after we left the bookstore with a bag of comics and the latest Hardy Boys novel, I had finished them all.  Books are like old friends, with personalities all their own. I remember most of the books I've read, and treasure the books I've read more than once.  I read for fun, but I also read to learn.  If there's something that I want to know about, the first thing I do is buy a book about it, even before I consult the Google.  As a result, I have more books than our local library.  In fact, our formal dining room was converted to a library, with floor to ceiling bookshelves, and there are still boxes of books waiting to be freed from captivity.   

 I've loved words my entire life, the bigger, the better.  And I'm not afraid to use those big words in conversation, either.  If this means that nobody knows what the heck I am talking about, that's okay.
I will giggle at innocent plays on words, and I won't care a bit that nobody gets the joke but me. If I am asked a question, I have a bad habit of overexplaining and elaborating, and often I bore others to death without really intending it.   I have 7, 642 pens.  Most of them are in the very bottom of my purse.  All of them write perfectly, and I use them often, preferring to write ideas on paper than to type them into my smart phone.  I have a habit of collecting blank journals to fill with my ideas. 

I am an introvert, preferring quiet solitude to the noise of parties.  Large groups of people drain my batteries.  I am socially awkward, but I have been known to attend social events by myself and enjoy them.

Do not confuse me with a geek.  I do not have any singularly obsessive interests; I am interested in everything and everyone.  I have the minimum technical skills needed to navigate a computer, but not much else.  I have never memorized entire screenplays, but I do enjoy reciting humorous dialogue from them.  I do not know which specific scenes in the X-files contain an appearance by the Smoking Man, but I know that he was really creepy.  I have no idea what the blood used to film scenes in The Walking Dead is made of; I just know that it looks really cool.  My husband is the geek; he can recite pages from Tolkien, can tell you the family lineage of every single character in the LOTR Trilogy, and can tell you which authors were directly influenced by Tolkien and how. 

My name is Tina, and I am a nerd.




3.) Hi, my name is ______ and I am a _______.

We Want to Know Wednesday

1.} What was the last thing you searched for online?

The last thing I searched for were these questions, as a matter of fact. Google is my BFF.

2.} If we visit your home state, what is one MUST we should do before leaving?

That is a hard one! This is Texas, after all, with it’s two time zones and five climate regions. You can float on a river in many states, so I don’t think it’s a MUST to travel to New Braunfels and toob, although the fly fishing is supposed to be first rate. The beaches here are not for the faint of heart, as many of them are still pretty wild. Nobody in their right mind should ever go to Houston. Palo Duro Canyon is interesting, but certainly not a MUST. The ghost lights of Marfa are really nothing ususual, especially not for the extremely long drive. The Hill Country is pretty enough, but certainly not a MUST, and I think it’s best if everyone just keeps away from East Texas. Dinosaur State Park? Nah.

I think as a native I am genetically obligated to say that a visit to the Alamo is required. However, I truly believe that it is a MUST to locate the best bbq joint (not a chain restaurant!) around you and eat there before you leave. I’ve eaten bbq in many states, and this state has the very best. If you ask around, you will hear the names of the BBQ places around you, or check out Texas Monthly’s website, since they post a listing of the best places in the state.

3.} What do you think pharmaceutical companies should invent a pill for that isn't on the market yet?

I want a pill that would give me a perfect body for a couple of hours. It would make date night, class reunions, and taking my child to the pool much more pleasant experiences!

4.} When was your first kiss? Was it good or bad?

First kiss? I think I was 8 years old. A kid named Eric. I don’t remember if it was good or bad,

5.} What is your guilty pleasure TV show that you cannot miss?

It is a tie between Supernatural and True Blood and Castle. Nobody else I know, with the exception of my husband, watches Supernatural, which is sad, because it is an excellent show. Witty dialogue, intricate plot lines, tie-ins with established monster mythology, good guys always win--what’s not to like? (If you liked Buffy the Vampire Slayer, or Angel, or Firefly, you will love Supernatural)

I’ve read all the True Blood books, but the television show is so much more vivid and exciting that I almost never mind that they veer from the books!

I like Castle because Nathan Fillion is just plain awesome.