Thursday, March 7, 2013

Stuff I Can Do

Mama’s Losin’ It

The prompt:  List 10 random things you know how to do.

This one sort of made me pause. I was at a loss to think of anything I could do, which is a definite sign of my stress level these days.  I had to take a few deep breaths and calm myself down.  Okay, so I had a glass of wine, too.  You get the idea.

1.  Crochet  I know what you're thinking.  You're thinking, "Wait--aren't you the woman who can't always remember how to tie shoes?"  And to that I would reply, in a girly high pitched voice, "I KNOW!!!  Isn't it totally groovy?"  And we would giggle conspiratorially, then go back to discussing the latest issue of Tiger Beat.   It is true;  I can actually do some sort of knot tying using a hook, and blankets are the result.  When I was 14-ish, a nice lady at the Boys & Girls Club in Silver Spring, Maryland, taught me how to make a granny square.  I still have that original afghan hidden stored in my closet, and it is still the ugliest thing ever, at least until the colors of the 1970s become trendy again. Nope.  Even then, it's a pretty hideous blanket, but my grandmother loved it, and that's who I made it for.

2.  Sing  I may not have the eye hand coordination to play an instrument like most people.  However, I do have a voice.  Not only do I have a voice, I can sing.  I used to sing in every single choir I could gain admittance to, and that was pretty awesome.  Way back when, I was a soprano, and I would rock the Hallelujah Chorus so hard. There wasn't a high note out there I couldn't nail, and I had fun doing it. I still love to sing, and although allergies and various throat ailments have resulted in a less than stellar voice these days, I still like to sing in the privacy of my car.  Plus, while I'm rocking out at a red light, other drivers are entertained.  It's win-win. 

3.  Give an IQ test.  Need a Wechsler? Kaufman?  Woodcock-Johnson(that is not as potentially porno as it sounds!)?   I'm on it.  I have administered them for over 20 years.  I can give these types of tests in my sleep.  I can't help it.  I like to find out how smart people are.  It's a thing.  By watching how a person handles a group of tasks, I can hypothesize how that brain processes information.  I am very fascinated by all things brain. 

4.  Teach a dog to sit.  If the dog is average in intelligence and alertness, I can have them sitting quietly, no matter where they are. Dogs and I share a fondness for food, and that is why we get along so famously. We will both do just about anything for a piece of cheese. 

5.  Understand mushy song lyrics/speech.  The bane of any good speech therapist is mushy mouth. When your speech sounds like the teacher in every Charlie Brown special(wah-wah-wah), then confusion rules.  I may need to hear a sentence a couple of times, but I am pretty good at figuring out what someone is asking for.  I am also good at figuring out obscure song lyrics, although it may take me sometime.  It took me several years to understand some parts of  "Total Eclipse of the Heart", for instance, but the words 'powder keg' were pretty mangled, in my opinion.

6.  Shoot a gun.  I don't think that guns should be in the hands of most people.  I'm not one of those "repeal the 2nd Amendment" people, I think that, given the odds, guns are too significant a health risk to be in the average home.  Just because I don't own a gun does not for one minute mean that I have never shot one, however.  

7.  Play a MMORPG.  Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game  is a mouthful, and so the internet shortened it to just initials.  I have a level 70 something Loremaster stalking stuff out there in online land, and she knows how to bring the thunder.  This was actually one of the things that I learned to do because I wanted to spend time with my husband doing something that he enjoyed.  And once I played for a bit, I actually enjoyed it too.  It used to be our Saturday night thing, to gather with our guild and do boss fights.  The day we took down the Balrog was a glorious day indeed.  Of course, having children severely curtailed our gaming time, but who knows?  We have enough computers so that we can all play together one day!

8.  I can speak the most important sentence EVER in the history of the Spanish language.  When I began living here after college, I was overwhelmed by a constant flow of Spanish.  Everyone I knew was speaking the language, except me!  At least that is what it seemed like at the time.  So I tried to learn to speak Spanish, and failed miserably.  Then I got a little smarter.  The very first thing I did was to learn all of the bad words.  This way, I reasoned, I would at least be able to tell if someone was insulting me.  Then I had to figure out how to get around Mexico, and I had my friend teach me a sentence to ask around.  "Estamos aqui por la cerveza." usually opens doors. Translated, it means "We are here for the beer."  This sentence is usually followed by the one asking for the location of the bathroom.

9.  Make Jewelry  Yes,  I can create some pretty nice looking earrings, bracelets, and necklaces.  It relaxes me to play around with beads, wires, and charms.  I'm not going to be competing with Kay jewelers any time, but I should be able to whip up a nice pair of earrings for the average gala, should I need to do so.

10. Select the correct wine for dinner.   I love that wine guy who shows up with the wine list at some restaurants.  We usually have such interesting conversations.  I generally listen to his advice, but I know enough about wine to know what will taste good with what food.  Not many people know that spicy foods taste great with sweeter wines, for instance.  After a lively conversation, I generally pick out something reasonably priced that is enjoyed by all.    

 Those are some of my unique talents.  What about yours?


  1. when I get a dog, you HAVE to come over and teach that thing to sit. My mom had this dog for years and that thing could do everything but sit. I think it didn't sit just to spite me now that I'm thinking about it.

  2. You have some great talents! I really wish I could pick out the right wine - I usually ask for a recommendation :)

  3. I can multi-task really well. Like freakishly well. :)

  4. Thank you for teaching me how to ask for beer and I love that you play MMORPG. It is something I always wanted to try.

  5. I love that you sat down with a glass. I feel I got to know you better. Orange, gold and avocado blanket, per chance? Uno mas cerveza, pot favor! You can SING? I can't carry a tune. I would be totally amused/fascinated by IQ test administering!

  6. I'm so blown away by the amazing achievements on your list I don't think I can match them - unless making prize winning jams, pickles & preserves counts???


I welcome comments, but reserve the right to correct your spelling because I am OCD about it!