Tuesday, October 26, 2010

It's Not Quite Halloween, But...

After a long day at work, we arrived home with Zane, and I get to fix dinner. Yay me. I had decided on trying a chicken parm recipe that I found, so I got started making that. The recipe called for dipping the chicken in egg and then into bread crumbs. Okay, I thought that I might be able to do that! There were three eggs in a container in the fridge. When I grabbed the container, one of the eggs started to slide out, and I tried to catch it. And I did catch the egg. Unfortunately, in my haste to catch the one egg, the other two slid out of the container. Which was kind of odd, since my thighs will silently attest that I don’t usually drop food. Damn, I thought to myself.

After getting the chicken into the oven, I was working on cleaning up the kitchen, getting some pasta on the stove, garlic bread in the oven, and Zane something to eat. Multi-tasking. Larry was in the living room, drooling over his new Aliens box set or something equally geek-ish. I was standing next to the island in the kitchen and I noticed movement on the floor. I looked down. Right next to my foot was a LARGE spider. EEEEEEEK!!

I am not afraid of spiders. I don’t like bugs/spiders/geckos in the house, but usually when I find them I catch them in a cup and toss them outside. I am not afraid of spiders, but I also didn’t expect to see one the size of a quarter right next to my bare foot in my own kitchen. I also didn’t expect to see dozens of baby spiders all over the floor next to the big spider. EEEEEEK!!!! I jumped and did what any normal, red-blooded woman would do in these situations. I hollered for my husband.

“Larry, come in here now!”

“What?” Larry called from the living room.

“It’s a big spider!” I called back.

“Itsy-bitsy spider?” Zane said from his spot at the table. He loves to hear about spiders, but they are all “itsy-bitsy” to him. Even Spiderman is “Itsy-bitsy Spiderman” right now.

“Uh, yes, Zane. It’s an itsy-bitsy spider,” I said, trying to appear calm for him, even though my heart was racing. It was a BIG spider, and while I am not afraid of spiders I was imagining that it had been about to climb onto my big toe. That gave me a roaring case of the heebie-jeebies.

“A big spider, eh?” From the tone of his voice, Larry was rolling his eyes as he walked into the kitchen. Then HE saw the spider, and while he didn’t actually jump, I could tell by the look on his face that he wanted to. Then I pointed out the baby spiders, and he was incredulous and had to see for himself.

“That’s kind of creepy,” he said. I had to agree. We both just stood there looking at the spiders, completely paralyzed with the OMG moment. Zane was still at the table where he had been eating, staring at his parents in confusion and starting to look worried.

Zena, our new kitten, jumped in to save the day. She was just ecstatic to have a new moving play toy to whack around, and she smacked that spider to the other side of the kitchen. In short order, the big spider was a deceased spider. In the meantime, Larry had recovered from his trance, and grabbed the vacuum cleaner. He vacuumed up all the little spiders.

“Should I be concerned that when I emptied the case into the trash, I couldn’t see any spiders?” he asked a couple of minutes later. I made him put the vacuum on the patio. Just in case. The thought that dozens of baby spiders might climb out of the vacuum was too frightful to contemplate for long. Crisis averted, we reassured Zane that all was well.

“It’s all right, Zane, your Mom was just scared of an itsy-bitsy spider,” Larry told him. So I smacked him with a frying pan. At least I thought about it. Because I am not afraid of spiders.

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