Thursday, March 6, 2014


I can't remember ever getting any advice from my mother. 

My mother just didn't talk to me that much when I was growing up.  Back then, there were no shortcuts.  As the hausfrau, my mom had stuff to do, like wash our clothes, clean the house, and cook dinners.   There was no time for idle chit chat. 

My mother always seemed completely discombobulated by me, like she had no idea what to do or say as a parent.  To be fair, I was weird, but still.  I was  emotional . I would tantrum, I would cry, I would need a hug. I had actual feelings, and that completely freaked my mother out.  

Other mothers were huggers, and I was a little jealous of those kids. My mother didn't hug unless I asked for it, and seemed ill at ease during the whole event.  I felt a bit cheated. Never mind that I am tactile defensive and don't like to be touched--Moms are supposed to hug! 

Moms are supposed to teach you how to cook--my mother banned me from the kitchen.  Moms are supposed to sew cute little outfits for their daughters--my mom made me wear hand me downs from the neighbors that were several years out of date.  Moms are supposed to play with their children as much as possible--my mom spent hours on the couch reading every book on the planet. Moms are supposed to dispense lots of sage advice, wisdom to get through the trials of life.

And yet I learned a lot from my mother.

My mom taught me to accept the things that I cannot change, like the humiliation of dayglo orange polyester pants, and to walk like I knew what I was doing, even if I didn't.  She taught me that being on my own was not the traumatic event it seemed.  My mom taught me to stand on my own two feet.  She taught me that I didn't need a man around to make things happen. She taught me to think for myself, and to accept the consequences of my choices.

My mom taught me those things all without saying a word.  Because sometimes the less said, the better.  I understand that more and more as I try and be a parent myself.

Also, that annoying habit of rolling my eyes when my husband says something that is completely silly?  I get that from her, too. 

Mama’s Losin’ It

2.) Advice your mother gave you.


  1. I really relate to this post - my mother was a woman of few words too, but I still learned so much from her - good and bad.

  2. As kids we have know idea how wise our parents usually are. For better or worse they teach us a lot.

  3. It is amazing what we end up learning from people who were not necessarily intentionally teaching us something.

  4. I feel for you not getting those hugs you wanted. Your post is a great reminder of how important it is to "make time" to be one on one with our kids. We never know how it is affecting our kids when we don't.

  5. Interesting you had the same observation about your mother--that she didn't have to say anything to give advice. Example is a learning lesson all its own.

    My mother taught me a lot of things. She didn't preach it. She prayed it!

  6. One of the best things parents do for us is show us what exactly we want to be like when we grow up. I've definitely picked out some parenting tactics from my mom and specifically chose not to continue with that style. It sounds like your mom still passed along some really valuable lessons!


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