Monday, November 25, 2013


I am decisive about many things in my life.  It helps that most of the time, an answer is immediately apparent.  Child is sick?  Go to doctor.  Rip in pants?  Don't wear those pants.   Coffee or tea?  Coffee, followed by tea.  $47.50 for a pair of flip flops?  Hell no.   But some decisions that are easy for most people are difficult for me.  I waffle, completely indecisive, about the silliest things, and it may take me weeks to make a decision one way or another, and then another six months to decide whether I am actually happy with my decision.  It drives me nuts, but I cannot seem to help myself.

I need a haircut.

My hair is now so long that it only does one thing well.  Unfortunately, that one thing is to hang flatly as close to my head as possible.  Since I have a moon-pie face(which I think means that my face is as round as the moon, and I like pie, both very true),  the very last thing that all the fashion magazines advise is that my hair hang flatly anywhere.  Those fashionista-types insist that all hair be shiny, silky, and luxuriously full at all times. I am on board with those concepts, as long as I don't actually have to work at it, which is where the fashion magazines and I part ways.

Who hired these people to tell us what to do again?  Nobody has hours to spend on their hair!  If they do, that person is obviously single and childless. When I was single and childless, I often did spend weeks getting my hair to look perfect, but now? Pfft! I get approximately twenty minutes to myself in the morning to shower, dress, and do my hair, with a minute or two to slap on some eye shadow.  I just have one child; I am sure that the time allotted for grooming is reduced for multiple children.

My hair is longer than it needs to be, and I need to get it cut.

I am not sure what I want.  I know what I don't want--a bob.  As far as I've seen, everyone and her grandmother has that haircut.  And why not?  It's an easy to care for haircut, and it looks fetching on most people.  Except I don't want to pay someone to cut my hair like every other person out there.  I want to look like myself.

So my hair is longer than it needs to be and I want to get a haircut, but I don't know what kind of haircut I want, except not a bob.

And not too short.  I know those damn fashion magazines say that women with fine hair should keep it cut short, and that women with moon-pie faces should wear their hair short, and fat chicks should wear their hair short, etc.  I don't like how I look in short hair.  Anything shorter than chin length, and I look like that Alfred P. Neuman guy from Mad. I am scary enough, thank you!

I want a haircut that is not a bob, that is not shorter than chin length, that does not make me look like Alfred P. Neuman or scary in any way.  I'll settle for not scaring small children.  And this haircut must take less than five minutes to fix up in the morning, including the drying. 

I will likely make a decision about all this somewhere around the end of 2015.  Maybe.



  1. When you figure out what that haircut is please let me know. I've been searching for it for most of my adult life. It's as elusive as the wind.

  2. Eyeshadow?!?! Just hen I thought I knew you! Sometimes my favorite haircut is not getting one...was the end of July a long time ago? ;)

    1. I guess that you and I got our haircut at the same time! And yes, that is a long time!

  3. Just got mine cut 6 inches. It was time to cut when my hair got caught in the car because the other door was open and blew my hair out the door. Not a bob.....about shoulder length with a little layering towards the bottom. Not sure I like the layering, but I can still pull it back into a ponytail so I'm good for now.

  4. I loathe getting my haircut! And mine is a tad overgrown as well, lol

  5. I like the cumulative effect of this story-the way you keep adding criteria to your haircut to let us know why this is not an easy decision. Don't know why, but it reminded me of the Monty Python "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition" sketch.

  6. I have no problems with decisions except my hair... well maybe its not deciding as much as its procrastination.

  7. Bobs take too much time to style! I have to have my hair long enough to pull back. Sometimes that's all I can do!


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