Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Phantom

She thought that it would be different.  Feel different, at least.  But she felt nothing. Nothing at all. Elisa hugged her knees to her chest, her tears dried by the wind around her.

She had wanted so very badly to just fit in!  Elisa tried. She really did. She thought she had found friends.  She thought that she was part of the group, that she was accepted, even loved. 

It was all a lie.  They told her she was a loser, a freak.  The people she thought were her friends told her that she should die, that she should kill herself so that they could be rid of her.  Whispered it in the hallway during passing period.  Tweeted it during football games.  Facebooked about it over the weekend.  Texted to her during classes.

When Elisa had been a child, she wished upon every star she saw for a happy life.  She didn't care about riches, or fame--she just wanted to be happy.  She could kick herself for being so stupid.
Those wishes were a sham, a phantom.  There was no such thing, and she had been a fool to be so naive.  Life was nothing but pain and hurt and despair, and it never got any better. Elisa knew that now.  But it would be all better soon. 

The wind rushing around the water tower, and her, was almost deafening.  She stood slowly, her eyes focusing on a distant star in the sky.

She stepped off the ledge.






The prompt is the third definition of the word PHANTOM.  Constructive criticism is welcome--I've stepped way out of my comfort zone. 

11 comments:

  1. Bullying is so prevalent now because of all the electronic media. It is terrible and parents should be checking what is going on with their kids media. I am watching a story right now on the Today show.

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  2. Oh that this scenario could be strictly fiction. Why do people have to be so cruel! This was a heart wrenching piece of writing-but it keeps at the surface a problem that must not be allowed to fade into the background. Excellent!

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    1. I was bullied as a kid, so I tend to take these things a little personally. Thank you for reading!

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  3. The detail about the wind around the water tower was perfect - it really brought us out of her head and into the moment. Nicely done.

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  4. I was bullied in school so this really hits me. Great work.

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  5. This could be the story for so many. At least back in my day, electronic media wasn't an issue...you just had to get through the school day.

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    1. Yes. Many was the day that I waited until I got off of the bus so I could cry in the safety of my room.

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  6. Seems to be a lot of that going around lately. Or maybe we just hear it more.
    You got right down in there, Tina!
    tears dried by the wind has a hint of Amy Winehouse, too. <3

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  7. Oh, this. As a mom, I worry about my kid being bullied or becoming a bully. I remember what it's like to be a kid and much of it isn't pretty. You cut right to the heart of those feelings with your words.

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  8. How horrible to think that to end it all would be the only way to go!A wonderfully real story TMW-profound and disturbing!

    This is a real fear and somehow I feel that both the school and the parent s have a big role to play-.While school authorities should be vigilant at all times,ensuring that no bullying is tolerated,parents on the other hand,should not only teach their kids not to bully or be bullied but also encourage sharing-a feeling of mutual trust and a sense of security would go a long way in healing these social issues.When we were growing up,there was no bullying as such-maybe a little teasing but that too very minimal.My daughter who recently started college,never faced any too.Kids need to be taught to stand up for themselves,be friendly and yet assertive.

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