Thursday, September 6, 2012

The One

Source: via Tina on Pinterest

We had been dating for a time, and had fallen into a routine.  Dinner, followed by some time shooting pool, sharing a bucket of longnecks, and occasionally, a movie.   The movie theater was right across the street from the bar, and when it was time, Larry and I would walk over to the theater. 
On this particular evening, it was time to head for the movie, so we finished our pool game and put up our cues.  Then we noticed that we still had two beers left in the bucket.  These were Shiners.  Shiner Bocks. I was pretty sure that it is against state law to waste such an awesome beer; I said as much.  Larry and I stared at each other, then at the bucket.  We each pulled a longneck from the ice and tipped it back.  We drank our beer as fast as we could.  Larry took my hand as we stepped out into the evening and began walking to the theater. 
Good beer is not meant to be chugged.  Good beer, especially a superb dark beer, has a measure of carbonation that seems to fill up the belly.  That carbonation can cause some gastrointestinal distress, and this distress is exacerbated by the speed at which it is ingested.  Before we had walked halfway across the parking lot,  I felt the MOTHER OF ALL BURPS pushing up from my middle. I could feel it rising from within me, a geyser rising within my chest.
I was horrified.  I had been raised to believe that women weren't ever supposed to have loud bodily functions like burps and farts. They especially weren't supposed to have loud bodily functions while on dates with the opposite sex.  Our date was going so well, and here I was going to ruin everything by burping!  Larry would probably take me home and never call again.  He would probably tell all of his friends what a horrible date I had been. This burp would be a dealbreaker, I just knew it.  
 It couldn't be helped.
"BbbbbbuurrruuuRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!"  The reverberation of that burp must have registered as seismic activity.   Birds that had been asleep in the trees around us were startled out of their repose.  All of the people in the parking lot halted their walk to the theater to turn and stare.  The silence following my outburst was almost as deafening as the burp itself.  I remained frozen in place, shoulders hunched, and looked over at Larry.  He stared back, eyes wide.  I waited.  And then, Larry burst into laughter, and I knew that  he was the One.

Mamakat's prompt: 1.) Tell us about the moment you knew your spouse was “The One”.


  1. that is so awesome! Nothing makes you know more about a person when our bodies show their TRUE functions!!!!

    Returning the favor of visiting and also following now!! Can't wait to read more!!!


  2. I can imagine your distress when this happened. But how wonderful that he reacted that way!

  3. Hilarious! Sometimes, you just know.

  4. Hahaha, but what did he do when you first - gulp - FARTED??!!!

  5. I tell guys, I'm not some girlie girl. I make bodily noises and with two boys I'm prone to do it more often than other women. lol I love that he laughed!

  6. I love it! Dudes love to know we're real, too. :) Stopping by from Mama Kat's!


I welcome comments, but reserve the right to correct your spelling because I am OCD about it!