Saturday, July 21, 2012

Comfort Zone

Quite a few people out there think that I am antisocial.  That I hate people and don't want them anywhere near me.  Other people, including my husband, think that I am angry or sad, just because I don't constantly smile or talk all the time.  He has a bad habit of following me around, asking me what is wrong every time I blink.

There's nothing wrong.  I'm an introvert. 

An extrovert gets revved up by being around other people.  They seem to feed off of the energy of the crowd, and it peps them up, gets them going, makes them happy.  Extroverts love to be in the thick of the crowd.  Introverts are completely opposite, and get energized through solitude, by being inside their heads. I don't hate people, but being around too many people sucks the energy right out of me. I feel overwhelmed by the stimuli of the crowd and I can't focus.  I can handle being around one or two people that I am comfortable with, but large parties seem to just wear me out both physically and mentally.  And if I'm with someone who talks nonstop, I want to stick forks in my ears.  I would rather be at home, by myself or just with my husband and son.  And that is okay.  I am who I am. 

Except that I am also the mother of an extrovert.  Everywhere he goes, he charms everyone.  Even people known to hate children will smile at my son.  Zane likes to get out and meet the world.  He seems electrified by being around people, full of smiles and stories about Legos.  I love that about him.  I call him our little Good Will Ambassador.   I try to take him places where he can meet new friends and see the world, because he is my son and I want him to be happy.

It is hard on me, however. I'm usually physically exhausted, and mentally I am completely scattered by the time we come home.  I need time to recharge, and I don't always get it.  I barely find my "happy place" in my head when I'm getting yelled at by my husband for not listening to him.  It does make me cranky.  I admit that.  I am not sure how to 'fix' it.  How to explain to your child that you need "quiet time" without hurting their feelings?  I haven't figured that out yet. 

I do spend a lot of time in the bathroom, that hiding place of mothers everywhere.   


  1. I'm like you. When we go on vacation I meet up with a friend and after our initial hugs and hellos we hit the beach to look for shells and rarely talk. We've done it for years and we're really close, we just prefer silence to talking.

  2. I love friends that I can just hang with in a comfortable silence. I very much "get" the fork in the ears. Drives me batty! I'm quiet until I know you then an extrovert of sorts. I just don't feel as if everyone deserves to know everything. I'm with you on the solitude front! And I HATE being asked what's wrong when I'm quiet because all I'm really doing is thinking to myself or chilling!

    Zane's age makes it hard. Everything is so exciting and new for him. I feel he has the exuberance that my son, now 19, has and he constantly exhausts me! We need tin cans and a string to go from bathroom to bathroom for venting purposes!


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