Thursday, April 5, 2012

Every Day I Wake Up 26

Each day, whether the alarm goes off or not, I wake up feeling as though I am exactly twenty-six years old.   As my consciousness slaps my unwilling brain into the pre-coffee cognitive efficiency required to get out of bed,  I am in a state of agelessness, but I feel twenty-six.

Not twenty-nine.  Not twenty-one.  Not even twenty-five. Twenty-six.

At twenty-six, I was pain-free.  I was at a respectable weight and I felt healthy.  I had the occasional migraine, but I didn't have asthma.  I didn't have Epstein-Barr.  I didn't have fibromyalgia. I didn't have high blood pressure. I didn't have brain fog. 

More importantly, I was an optimist. I thought that the world was generally a good place full of good people.  I thought that people did the right thing just because it was the right thing.  I had just finished my master's degree. I was just starting a new job working as a school psychologist. I had just moved into my own apartment.   My entire world felt full of promise, on the verge of something great.  At twenty-six, I relished getting out of bed in the mornings.  Some days I literally sprang off the mattress when the alarm went off, I was so eager to be exactly where I was.

But while I might wake up feeling briefly twenty-six, and I might occasionally want to go back to that age on a more permanent basis, I would never do so.  Because to go back to that pleasant age would mean that I would never have experienced many, many  happy moments that occurred much later in my life.   I didn't meet my wonderful husband until I was in my thirties. Who would want to miss the chance to be with their future husband just to avoid creaky knees?  Also, we were not blessed with our son until I was in my forties.  Even with the difficulty of his birth, there is no way I would miss being able to hold him and read stories to him each night.  What's a little fibromyalgia compared to that?


I'm linking up over here today!
Mamakat's Wonderful Prompt:  3.) If you had to pick an age to be forever, what age would you pick and why?

9 comments:

  1. This is such a moving post. I love the way you began, and I was touched by the way you ended.


    Look forward to your challenge run…
    --Damyanti, Co-host A to Z Challenge April 2012

    Twitter: @AprilA2Z
    #atozchallenge

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  2. I love the post, but am sorry about the fibromyalgia...

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    Replies
    1. Thank you. Some days are harder than others, but I muddle through.

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  3. Great post....and it's always good to look for the "silver lining" in every dark cloud.

    hi from mk's :)

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  4. You're a great writer. I also loved your romantic introduction prompt . . . very engrossing.
    -A fellow mommy blogger/writer from the challenge

    here's my a to z blog

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  5. It would nice to have the best of both those worlds wouldn't it!?!

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