Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Remembered: Cleaning House

Prompt: Think of a time that you “cleaned house.” Consider the subtext—we’re not writing about Windex here. We’re writing about relationships. Or feelings. Or a captured moment in time.

It's at this time of the year that I mourn a bit. Sorry if I upset anyone.

I finally made myself clean off the shelf in the closet one day a few years ago. I pulled everything that I hadn't wanted to see onto the floor. I opened the special box that I had purchased just for the occasion. I placed the tissue box next to me. Then I went through the pile, and I cried as I laid each item gently into the box.

The sonogram pictures.

The sonogram videotape, each tiny heartbeat visible, so fierce.

A small hand painted box containing a tiny hat and a small gold ring; a birth gift for a child who never saw it. I think that she would have liked that ring.

A silk rose, white. It was placed on my hospital room door to let the nurses know.

The birth/death certificate, signed by the doctor on December 9, 2003.

I placed all these painful memories in that special box, running my hands over them, reading them, touching them. As if I could turn back time for that moment and have it turn out differently.

Then I closed the box, but not my heart.


  1. Absolutely beautiful...and heartbreaking.

  2. This is heartbreaking. But so very dear. Each artifact, a reminder of her, and her life. You honor her with your words.

  3. This is beautifully written. I can feel your hesitant determination through the words and structure. Thank you for sharing your heart with us, friend.

  4. Wow! No words to convey, must have been very hard for you to write, but what a powerful piece.

  5. Oh my heart, I am so very sorry. xo

  6. Oh my goodness!

    So much said in so few words.

    Very touching!

    This post needs a kleenex warning!

  7. I can't imagine how hard that must have been. Thank you for sharing such a painful, real memory.

  8. Very powerful piece. I really like how you end it too. Beautiful and heartbreaking.

  9. The silk rose on the door... This is beautiful remembrance.

  10. Wow, such a strong post. My heart wishes I could send hugs via internet.

  11. I had no idea. And I am sorry. So sorry. From one mom who has lost a child to another, that is all I can say. I am so sorry.

  12. No reason for you to apologize to us. Thank you for your honesty and beautiful writing, and for letting us into your world...regardless of which part it is. So sorry...


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