Monday, October 10, 2011

He Did NOT Get This From Me

Where ever we go, my son makes friends. If we are in line at the bank, he's talking to the security guard. If we are at the movies, he's talking to the people behind us. If we go to the police station, he's back behind the desk with the detectives

Just kidding about that last one.

My son has the gift of flirt. We worried that he wouldn't talk, then we worried that he'd lost some of his language when he turned 15 months. I guess we worried for nothing. But where did he get these particular social skills? Certainly it wasn't in his IEP!

We have a favorite Mexican Food restaurant nearby. We go there as often as we can, because Zane likes one of the waitresses there. She has loved him since he was an itty bitty 5lb baby. Every time we go to the Patio Cafe, she fusses over him and brings him his favorite foods. If no one else is in the restaurant, she will take him to the fish tanks and show him the fish. She talks to him and gives him kisses, and as we leave the place, she gets him a lollipop.

I have no idea where my son learned to flirt like this. My husband and I are supra-introverts. We tend to keep our heads down pointed toward our books or computers. We have in no way been good role models for flirting behavior. Not that I haven't used flirting on occasion; I lucked out of many a traffic ticket using my flirting ways. But I sort of stopped that when I got married.

This past weekend we went to the Patio cafe for lunch. There was a new waitress there. Zane had to tell her all about his soccer game. She bent down to him and listened, and in the middle of his story, Zane stopped. He leaned over to her and touched her face lightly.

"You have pretty eyes," Zane said, smiling. And there she was, right in the palm of his little hand. It was that easy. I haven't seem moves like that since the days of Disco.

There are tons of books out there on flirting, and I have read every single one. My son hasn't read any of them. Yet he seems to know exactly what to say and do instinctively. I guess I am suspicious of such things.

My son does not fake in any way. He is not trying to be manipulative. Zane is too young to completely understand such shenanigans. He genuinely is happy to meet people, and he loves to make friends. It's perfectly innocent on his part.

I love him for that. I love that he is not afraid to put himself out there to make friends. I am a little concerned about the day when Zane's friendliness gets rejected. I would want to go ballistic on the person who rejects my son, but it's not up to me. What will my son do?


  1. My daughter lives her life on the assumption that everyone wants to be friends with everyone else. It's amazing and brave... but I know one day she'll understand that it's not true. And I know one day she'll get her friendliness rejected. I'm preparing myself for that day. For what I'll tell her. I think I'll tell her to keep being brave.

  2. We had a favorite restaurant we'd go to because Alex like the waitress so much. I love how Zane is fearless. If someone rejects him, I can just see him going, "Humph, what's wrong with them?!?"

  3. My son used to say to young moms, "Oh, your baby is so cute!"...and he was in!

    In elementary school, he moved to flirting with the high school girls at the after-school program (and trying to cop a feel).

    He's a boob man.

    Now? He totally sucks at it with high school girls his own age, just when it would come in handy.

    Thank God.


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