The Taste of Summer

David's pleasant dreaming evaporated when he rolled over and found her side of the bed empty.  A glance at the clock on her nightstand was unnecessary; the sunlight forcing its way between the slats on the blinds told him that morning had arrived. 

With a groan, David sat up, scrubbing his face of sleep.  As he located his jeans on the floor near the door, he wondered what sort of reception he would find when he left the bedroom.  Would Caroline remember their feud, or would last night's lovemaking still be on her mind?  Should he play it cool, or let his feelings rule?  The unexpected eruption of passion that had rocked David last night was more than he had ever thought to find again.

He wanted more, but he wasn't sure how Caroline felt.

He quietly made his way into the kitchen when he heard the screen door slam.  He stopped cold.  Clad only in his t-shirt, Caroline held a small bucket full of strawberries. She made her way to the sink, her bare feet leaving wet tracks on the floor.  She dumped the fruit into the sink and turned on the faucet, motioning for him to open a cabinet.  He pulled out a bowl and brought it to her, then just stood back.  David was suddenly fascinated by her hands.  Her fingers had been so soft when they slid over his skin just hours earlier. Yet he knew that she took care of the entire farm by herself.

"Strawberries always remind me of summer." Her voice was soft, distracting. The rich timbre rolled over his skin, raising goosebumps.  Caroline's hands had stopped, and his eyes lifted to her face.  He realized that her lips were still swollen from his kisses, and he liked that.  I thought that she hated me. David had been wrong about that.  He had been wrong about a lot of things. He smiled; so much for playing it cool.

"But you have to pick them early, before the heat, because that's when they taste the best." Caroline picked up and examined an uncut strawberry, red and ripe. She moved closer to David, her eyes glazed with passion. She bit into the fruit, the juice exploding over her lips and dripping onto his shirt. His shirt.  The truth hit him.

"Oops." Caroline's smile was an invitation.  David's eyes focused a moment on the stains where the roundness of her curves began.  In his shirt.  His hands grabbed her waist and he pulled her mouth to his. He could taste the strawberry, the sun, the earth, and the sky in her kiss. 

She was his world.




Summer


Hehehe...summer is all about the heat...right? I'm going to go cool off now. 

A to Z: Marriage

Marriage is hard.

There are tons of great things about marriage, of course.  Love. Sharing. Partnership. Never having to pick up another dead cockroach or live spider ever again. Someone to binge watch Supernatural with.  That stuff is great. 

But don't be fooled for a second by all those romance novels. Before marriage, the blinders about marriage need to come off. Romance novels make it seem as though spouses never fight, that they agree about everything, and that they have sex like rabbits. Don't be fooled by those romantic movies, either, where Richard Gere rides in to save the day and carry off his love.  That sort of romantic stuff may happen during the initial stages of a relationship, but the bloom wears off the rose pretty quickly once the marriage is on the books. 

That's when those bad habits that we developed when we were single show themselves. While you were single, it didn't matter that you left half-full glasses all over your apartment until they grew legs and migrated to the kitchen sink.  When you were single, you could hang out on the couch all weekend without showering, or eat food right out of the container, or order take out every night.

They were bad habits when we were single and lived alone, with nobody to see them.  When displayed around your partner, these habits become downright annoying. Yes, your spouse is the love of your life, and they make you complete, but there are just those moments where they get on your last nerve. There are moments that you would rather die than listen to one more story about which audio system is the most innovative or how many gamers prefer Xbox One to everything else on the planet.

That is part of life, and that is part of marriage.  Marriage is about reciprocity.  You sit and listen to your spouse discuss the finer points of the Marvel universe for hours, not only because it makes him happy, but because there will come a time when you will want to discuss the finer points of crochet, and he will have to reciprocate.  Without reciprocity, a marriage becomes tedious for one of the partners.  One person is giving and giving and giving, and getting nothing in return. That gets old.

Marriage is also about compromise. Neither person gets their way every time, and each person has to give a little. That's how partnerships work. I will listen to some songs I don't like when we are traveling together, and my spouse should be willing to listen to the music that I like.  Compromise.  It's not always easy to compromise, because we think that we are right, whether that is true or not.  Just because it's difficult doesn't mean that we drop everything and run home. It just means that we work  harder.

So what do you think is necessary for a happy marriage? 

Expectations

optional prompt: expectations


It is unfortunate, but many people go into marriages with great expectations.  For women, it is often all about the romance, the candlelight dinners, the handholding, and the perfect man who knows just what she needs at any given moment.  For men, it is all about the comfort of a perfect someone who takes care of them, both in the bedroom and out.  

We hear about the fairy tale from birth, the handsome prince come to take us away, the ugly woman who turns out to be bewitched and is really a beautiful princess.  We all want the romance that comes with those unrealistic expectations.  It's why we got into a relationship in the first place, isn't it?  And when the reality doesn't match the expectations, we become disillusioned, dispirited, dejected.  For some of us, the loss of the illusion is a dealbreaker. Those are the people who jump from relationship to relationship, looking for...what?

Don't get me wrong, these expectations are not good or bad, right or wrong.  They are just unrealistic, especially in romance.  Certainly, these expectations do not represent real love, and we find that out soon enough after we say "I do."  Yet these unrealistic expectations persist.  Why?

I love my husband, and I could not see myself ever married to anyone else, but there are times when I have to face that reality and let go of those unrealistic expectations.  So my husband says he will do things and then he gets distracted by a shiny object and forgets.  He probably wishes that I was still skinny.  He is who he is, and I love that, plain and simple.  I need to focus on that reality more.   

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The A-List: Romance

Let me start this blog post by saying that I'm not someone who has to be constantly validated in order to feel loved.  I don't fall apart if my husband doesn't call me 14 times a day.  I don't expect flowers or gifts at every turn. (I'm not going to say "no" to presents, because I'm not completely insane, I just don't expect them.)  I don't remember the exact moment that I first laid eyes on my man, and I'm sure that I don't have the date of our first date correct, either.  Larry probably remembers those little events better than me.  Also, since I'm a bit tactile defensive, I'm not a touchy-feely person, either. 

I still have a bit of a romantic streak in me.  Oh, it's not a big streak, but it is there.  Everyone wants love, no matter how they express it.  Here are my five favorites to bring more romance into a relationship.  Romance is not about the grand gestures, but the small details, like saving the last donut for your sweetie-pie, instead of scarfing it down yourself.  If you have any tips of your own, please put them in the comments!

1. The 'L' Word.  Some people use this word all the time.  Every five minutes they're saying that they love you, they love their dog, they love their mother.  Love is a wonderful emotion, indeed, but I have to wonder about a person who tosses the word around so casually.  Why are they saying it so much?    To quote a famous movie, I don't think that it means what they think it means.  Love is an important, momentous event in a person's life.  It's not ketchup, bought cheap, and applied liberally to cover a culinary flaw.  Don't say it if you don't mean it.

2. Think. The brain is the sexiest part of the human body, but it is not used often enough.  Think about the object of your affections.  Picture them in your life.  Use the "we" of a couple, not the "I" of the individual, when speaking of them.  Visualize the person you love as they are, warts and all, in your life, and think about all of the reasons that you love them.  Do this at least four times every day. Occasionally, you might want to tell your partner some of what you've been thinking, but it's not a 'have to' sort of thing.  Fantasize about them a little, too.  A little imagination goes a long way toward passing the time at staff meetings. 

3. Show Me.  One of my favorite lines from a movie is "When you gotta shoot, shoot.  Don't talk." It seems that there are people out there who think that all they have to do is talk about love.  No.  It's not enough to tell a person that you love them, you must show them.  The behavior must match the words.  If you love a person, then your behavior toward them should reflect that.  Telling a person that you adore them while sitting on the couch playing computer games doesn't mean nearly as much as telling them while holding their hand or rubbing their cankles.  If you're going to tell a person that you love them, then be prepared to show them. 

4. Pay Attention.  I listen to my husband when he talks. I watch what he does.  I pay attention to his likes and dislikes. If there is a particular food that my husband likes, I will buy it for him. When Larry looks like he needs some "alone" time, I give it to him. If he says that he likes a particular movie, and I know that movie is coming out on blu-ray, then I purchase that movie for him.  If it makes him happy, and it is within my means to do something about it, I will. No mind reading necessary, just a little attention.  Being considerate of your partner goes a long way toward making life smooth for both of you, even if all that means is remembering to leave the toilet seat down. 

5. Little Things Add Up.   Little, nagging, annoying things, like forgetting to put the lid on the toothpaste, that don't normally bother us, build up, and they can explode into huge fights.  Stress gets us all, and we have to fight back in order to keep our relationships on an even keel. There's a reason that successful couples have Date Nights, where they hire a sitter and spend time together.  Making time for your relationship is important, because most parents find themselves in a triangle--You-Me-Baby at some point.  Children were never meant to be the center of a marriage.  Marriage is a partnership, not a menage', but people get caught up and forget.  Date night is a structured way of re-establishing your coupledom. Make time for each other, even if you don't do anything more than watch a movie together after the kids go to sleep.  It's 'WE' time!  It's about remembering all those little reasons why you fell in love in the first place.

Breakup

Write on Edge prompt:  Write about a face to face meeting which, for better or for worse, doesn’t go as planned. I am not too sure about this one, but I'm tired, and distant family members are sending me pictures of Bigfoot.

Carolyn was waiting for Jason when he wandered into the cafe. He was late, and he had his head down, his phone in one hand, thumb flying over the letters.  Carolyn wrinkled her nose in disgust, impatient to have his attention and get this over with. She had heard the rumor about Jason breaking up with her, and she was going to be the destroyer, not the recipient.  Carolyn had been rehearsing in her mind all morning; Jason, this isn't working out.  As he meandered over to her table, Carolyn was irritated.  How had she had ever thought that this boorish behavior was 'fun'? 

"Would you put that damn phone down and look at me?" Carolyn hissed as he finally sat down.  Jason's head snapped up, his smile frozen, his blue eyes suddenly intensely focused on her.  He slowly placed the phone face down on the table.

"Is that better?"  His voice carried, a gentle wave, across the table.  Carolyn still loved that chocolate sort of voice.  She nodded, unsure of her own voice, and continued to stare at him.  He was so beautiful.  She would miss this, sitting in the cafe together, staring into those blue eyes.  A waiter came by and deposited menus without interrupting.

 Jason cleared his throat, leaning across the table to take her hand in his.   Carolyn shook her head and took a deep breath, ready to begin the end.

"Carolyn--," Jason blurted, gripping her hand.   "I love you. I have for some time."

"Jason, this--wait. What did you say?" Carolyn was was sure that she had misheard.  Her eyes were suddenly blurry with tears.

"I love you, Carolyn," he repeated.  "I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"B-b-but--"

"Will you marry me, Carolyn?"  Jason was on one knee before she realized it, and he was offering her a ring box.  All she had to do was reach out and take it.

The A-List: Summer Reading, Part Two

The coolest thing about owning a Kindle is that I can order up samples of books for free.  This lets me get a "taste" of what the book is about before I plop down the cash.  If I don't like what I read, then I can just delete the sample and move along. One way I have been using the samples offered is to help me remember which books that I do want to read, even if I don't have time to read them right now.  I used to have good intentions, and would tell myself that I would come back to buy a particular book.  Then that promise would completely leave my head the second that I left the bookstore.  My Kindle has taken care of that little memory problem for me. 

More of what I've read this summer falls below.  I am on a mission this summer, to get lost in as many books as I can, so I have something to think about when I'm back at work and "too busy".  I know--you're never too busy to read--adding work to the mix seems to limit the free time that I enjoy each summer, especially since Zane will be starting Pre-K at a new school.  (Okay, so I'm reading more so I don't have to think about that, too.)

1.  Stolen Prey   Lucas Davenport is one of the great detectives, in my opinion.  He's practical with a little dash of idealism thrown in there.  He's smart and was able to get rich writing video game scenarios.  He's a hero, except when he's not.  I've read all of the "Prey" books, and they never fail to thrill me. These are great beach reads!  John Sandford bases most of his tales in Minnesota and the surrounding states; I had no idea that such a sleepy sounding part of the world was such a seething hotbed of intrigue.  This particular adventure involves the Mexican drug trade and a mugging.  I love the comfortable dialogue that seems to flow between the characters.  There always seems to be a witty comeback or a sarcastic remark that fits so well that you can just picture these characters actually having those conversations.  Nothing sounds forced or just inserted for a laugh.  I admire that in a writer, and I sure do enjoy it.

Source: amazon.com via Tina on Pinterest

2.  Reading in the Brain  I always have to complete some continuing education credits during the summer, and this book is one of my classes.  (The other 42 hours have been all about autism, in case you're curious.)  The act of reading fascinates me.  It is an extremely complex act that many of us end up able to do automatically.  In a lot of ways we seem to start learning to read the second we are born!  This book is all about the "brainy" side of reading, what parts of the brain are active, and what is actually happening.  It's probably not something that is in the least bit exciting to anyone not interested in education, but I would recommend this to anyone who has a child who is struggling with reading.  If nothing else, it might offer a bit of perspective.

3.  The Darkest Seduction  So sue me, I'm a bit of a romantic.  This book is part of the Lords of the Underworld Series by Gena Showalter.  The premise is that when Pandora's Box was opened by soldiers of Zeus who were jealous of Pandora, Zeus punished them by placing one of the demons imprisoned in the box into each soldier. Each book is the story of a different man and his demon.  This current story has Paris, the Keeper of Promiscuity, and his attempts to reunite with his True Love, who just so happens to have been stuck with the demon Wrath.   The paranormal parts of the book do not detract in the least from the love story.  I like that the heroines in Showalter's books are not fragile flowers who are helpless until the hero rescues them.  These women are downright feisty.  Good beach read.

Source: amazon.com via Tina on Pinterest

4.  Lover Reborn  J.R.Ward's series involves vampires.  Not the sparkly kind.  The Warrior kind, with the big burly chests and lots of leather.  Lots and lots of leather.  These vampires are a separate race from humans.  They don't like to feed off of humans, either, although they will if they have to.  There's an entire aristocracy in the vampire world, and they are guarded by the Black Dagger Brotherhood, which are the big burly guys who wear the leather.  The vamps in this universe mate for life, when they find the One.  Except that the protagonist of Lover Reborn is recovering from the death of his "One".  He doesn't want to let his dead wife go, and clings to her memory so fiercely that he is preventing her from entering heaven.  It's up to an angel to help him let go and move on to a new life, and new love.  It's a love story from a little different angle, I think.  Still a love story!

5.  It's Not You, It's the Dishes  I am in the middle of this book now.  I picked this up because of my undying hatred of doing the dishes.  I do most of the cooking in our house, and in my mind, that means that my husband should be taking care of the clean up.  Except that he doesn't.  It's not that he thinks that cleaning is women's work.  He probably just gets distracted by something and forgets about it.  He's not really different from most guys, who likely don't think about doing dishes until the last fork is pulled from the drawer or all the coffee cups are dirty.  I find myself getting resentful about it, however.  The people who wrote this book decided to look at marriage from a different angle--economics.  Which intrigued me.  If I look at my marriage from the point of view of an economist on such concepts as a 50/50 division of labor, then I'm less likely to feel emotional about any issues that crop up.   I'm learning something new, and I'm getting a new perspective on marriage. 

Source: amazon.com via Tina on Pinterest

Okay, got any other books I should be reading? 

Romance

Really, they were just eyebrows.  The eyebrows of my beloved, my husband, my sweetheart, were confounding me.  I could have gazed adoringly into those sky-blue eyes all day long...if it weren't for those eyebrows.  They haunted my dreams.  He would look completely different with new eyebrows, a little voice in the back of my head whispered.

I never noticed those stray hairs until after we'd been married a while, but once I saw them, I couldn't unsee them.  They were ten weeds on the face of perfection, perched on the No Man's Land above the nose, and they were driving me insane.  I resolved several times not to pay them any attention, but it was no use.  Those eyebrows were like a traffic accident; even with the best of intentions, my eyes would drift upward.  Eyebrow plucking is certainly not considered to be a manly art, unless said plucking is followed by the placement of a tattoo or a piercing.

They don't really cover stuff like this in the marriage manuals.  I was certain that I'd never heard any of my friends talking about male eyebrow plucking.  I recalled seeing men in barber shops with towels over their faces when I was growing up, but I could not recall a time when I'd ever seen a man in the barber shop getting his eyebrows plucked.  I wasn't about to call my dad to ask!

How could I approach this topic without ruffling any feathers?   I could take a lot of things, but getting the silent treatment at that time was a torture to be avoided.  I waffled and procrastinated for days, afraid that my topic would start an argument.  I could finally stand it no longer, and I had to say something.  I took a deep breath and made my request.

"What do you mean, you want to pluck my eyebrows?"   He was understandably nonplussed, but he was warily agreeable.  

He sat on the edge of the bathtub as I found my tweezers.   His breath fanned gently over my face as I leaned over for a better look.  I was suddenly nervous.  I'd never plucked anyone else's eyebrows before. What if I plucked too much?  What if his eyebrows ended up lopsided?  What if the tweezers fell out of my sweaty hands and punctured an eyeball and he had to wear an eyepatch?   Stop it, I told myself firmly.  I moved the trembling tweezers into position, grasped at a hair, and ripped the first offending hair out quickly.

"OWW!!!"   Larry leaped to his feet, his eye covered by his hands.  He angrily stepped to the mirror to survey the damage.  "ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME???"

"Don't be silly, sweetie," I giggled nervously,  "Your life insurance policy hasn't activated yet." 

We looked at each other, and started to laugh.   My nerves melted away as he sat back down so I could finish pulling those last nine hairs.



WOE Prompt: It’s time for a change in outward appearance, be it a character, yourself, or someone in your life. write about a makeover of your choice (hair, clothes, makeup, facial hair for the menfolk), fictional or memoir/creative non-fiction. Let’s think about how physical appearance changes can affect the inner landscape.  This is nonfiction, and likely stretches the definition of a makeover, but it's all I've got today. The brain does not run well on migraines and lack of sleep. 

A Fine Romance

The other day, my husband put his strong arms around me, pulled me close, and gave me a big kiss. Then he just looked at me. I returned his gaze, thinking that we were having quite the romantic moment.

"You know..." he began.

"Yes?" I responded, breathlessly.

"You have a lot of hair in your nose," he finished.

So I slugged him. Not really. But I seriously considered it.

Old Spice | The Man Your Man Could Smell Like

I love these commercials. They remind me of all the ideas about romance that were forced on me as a girl growing up. All those myths about what a man was supposed to be, and what romance was about, and how, when you met "THE ONE", your happily-ever-after life was supposed to proceed. You know: your man never once complains that you nag, your boobs/butt/knees never fall, and your children always do exactly what you say.

The reality is much better.