It's All Worth It

This weekend we want you to give us a pithy summary of your feelings about the holidays.  Your response does not need to be cynical or sarcastic.  We welcome all thoughts and feelings about this time of year--so long as you express those thoughts and feelings in 33 words.



Hehe...I thought about doing this on Sunday night, thinking that it was Saturday.  I told you that I needed sleep!



Were it not

for the wishes

of one delightful boy,

my "vacation" would be

spent blissfully sleeping in,

instead of driving around

looking for that "one" present

that makes him whoop with joy.

Santa's Dilemma

Note: After yesterday's complete downer, I'm posting something more lighthearted, because I really am trying to be more positive and cheerful. Really. It's not just a rumor! Again, apologies if I upset anyone yesterday. Also, I received a very lovely award from my friend Andrea and I will talk about that soon, I promise!

I've previously spoken of my need to get the "perfect" gift, and that need applies to making sure that my son has a wonderful time on Christmas morning. Zane is old enough that he can speak about what he likes, or does not like. He is very emphatic about it, at least for that moment. My husband and I were foolish enough to believe that this would make our Christmas shopping easier. Zane would tell us what he wanted, and mysteriously--without a chimney in sight--Santa would have that magical gift underneath the tree on Christmas morning.

Did I mention that I am learning this parenting thing as I go?

"What presents would you like for Santa to bring you, Zane?" I asked my son two weeks ago as we were driving home from daycare. He's not old enough to "make a list", so we had to drag it out of him between statements regarding which kid passed gas that day.

"All of them." Yep--That was a verbatim quote.

That was no help. We can't just arrive at the Toys'R'Us and tell the cashier that we want "All" of the toys. Where would we put them, especially since we'd have to sell the house to pay for them all? My husband and I agreed to try later a couple of days later, thinking that perhaps the idea needed to germinate a bit.

"Zane, what would you like for a Christmas present?" I asked him at lunch with the entire family. I thought that the presence of the grandparents, aunt, uncle, and cousins might be an inspiration.

"A reindeer," the boy announced. There was a collective "huh?" on all of our faces.

"A reindeer? Where are you going to put it?" my mother asked him.

"In the backyard."

Never mind the logistics of actually getting a reindeer; I am pretty sure that it is too darn hot here for that particular species. Plus, hunters are drawn like flies toward anything they can possibly shoot and eat. So no reindeer.

I tried again the next day.

"Zane, what would you like for Christmas?" I even clarified. "What would you like for Santa to bring to you as a present?"

"I don't want anything." Zane told me. "I have too many toys."

"Who are you and what have you done with my child?" I felt his forehead for signs of fever, and then Zane felt MY forehead to see if I had a fever. I may have hallucinated the entire exchange, after all. As much as I would love to applaud the altruism my child expressed, we all know what would happen if I took him at his word and there were no presents Christmas morning. Hell hath no fury like a child denied Christmas presents.

My husband and I have taken turns every single day to get some kind of consistent answer, since the deadline is looming. He's still interested in the reindeer, and he mentioned that he wanted a steam train...and dinosaurs, specifically a T-Rex...and Batman...and Legos...and a Christmas tree.

Anybody know how much it costs to ship a reindeer?

The Presence of Presents

My husband often accuses me of waiting until the last minute to buy gifts for people. When he does that, I usually end up walking off in a huff; I think that I do good huff. Secretly, I have to consider that Larry might be right, but it's not laziness that keeps me from braving stores early.

It's the idea that a gift must be perfect that gets me. It stops me in my tracks and paralyzes me with indecisiveness. I hate that.

I try to be a thoughtful giver. I try to find gifts that show that I have paid attention to hobbies or favorite activities. These days, however, it feels like the gifts that I choose must be THE absolutely most perfect-for-that-person ever. If I am buying a gift for a music lover, for example, then I have to find an obscure recording of Blind Lemon Jefferson(Bonus points if you know who that is without Google!). If I'm buying for a knitter, then it has to be virgin-worsted grass-fed Himalayan Alpaca wool. I don't even know what that is, but I feel pressured to find it. The thought of a disappointed face spurs me on.

In years past, I would drive myself crazy trying to find the "right" present. I still do for some people. If it isn't the "right" present, then it doesn't count, for some people. I wasn't aware that there was a contest, but I have been competing anyway. If I didn't get the "right" present, then I had failed. It hasn't help that occasionally, after all my efforts, the recipient of my gift would show their appreciation by immediately returning my "perfect" present, or by telling me that they were disappointed. And yes, those things have actually happened. Those people get gift cards or cash, and then marked off my list. I don't even bother now. It makes me sad, but I have enough to worry about without adding their disappointment to my plate.

A gift should never be given with the expectation of gratitude. It truly should be the 'thought' that counts, as cliche' as that sounds. It's not about the dollar amount, either. For a gift to have presence, for a gift to be "right", it only needs the giver's desire to bring joy to the recipient behind it. If my son, in his desire to make me smile on Christmas morning, makes me some sort of lumpish knick-knack, then that gift is perfect. When people open gifts that express that sense of thoughtfulness in some way, it lights up their heart, even if the gift isn't what they expected. The gift of love always shines. That is what people remember about the gifts they are given; those are the memories that people hold close to their hearts.

Batman Goes Up High...And Does Not Come Back Down

During the funeral services for my father-in-law, my nephews volunteered to take care of Zane. They took him outside to play, and Zane took his Batman with him. Of course, during the play that occurred outside, Batman went over the fence, possibly on purpose. He's got a reputation for being a bit antisocial, after all.

As soon as we came out of the church, Zane informed us that Batman had gone "Up high", we had no idea what the heck he was talking about until about an hour later when the rush of people had gone home. We sent Tristan, as the most agile member of our family, over the fence and he found Batman. Zane was happy. Then, being a teenaged boy, Tristan decided it would be awesome to throw Batman "Up high" once more. Which would have been fine...except Batman landed on the roof of the church. Completely out of reach. Damn.

After the entire family had a good laugh at Tristan(because families do that), we told Zane that Batman had gone to Gotham to save the city. No, that's not what we told him. We said that Batman went bye-bye, picked Zane up, put him in the car, and went home. Zane took the news of Batman's departure well. In fact, he took it better than I did. (I LIKED that Batman! He was adorable.) Zane went home and played with his other superhero figures, but it didn't seem the same to me.

So my husband and I went to every single Walmart and Target on this side of town yesterday. We weren't looking for Black Friday deals. No, we were looking for another Batman. And we finally found one, bought it, brought it home and presented it to Zane. Who acted like he had never seen such a wonderful thing before, and behaved like it was the best present EVER. And I thought about how it was a good thing to be able to look at the world around you like it was the best present EVER. How many people do you know who do that?