Itsy Bitsy Spiders?

My husband sent me an email last week that did not contain a picture of a dead snake.  A coworker had found this spider on the ground outside of the school and took a picture of it, the email said.  I was confused.    Black Widows like dark, musty spaces where they can be left to their own devices.  Middle schools are not an ideal location, what with all the teenagers who like to run amok.

Also?  That spider is HUGE.  Like, Shelob-sized.  Surely someone would have noticed it hanging out?  A spider that big belongs in a dark corner of a pig sty, weaving the words "SOME PIG" in their web.

My husband's school is only a few years old, and it was built in the middle of nowhere, cow pastures and scrub all around.  Erecting a large building in the middle of nowhere causes much upheaval among the critters who live in such areas.  They don't understand what is happening, but they try to go on about their business anyway, and then they encounter people. Terrified, hysterical people who stomp first and ask questions later. 

Honestly, I am not even sure how our species managed to evolve from fierce hunters into these shrinking violets.  Take snakes, for instance.  Seeing a snake doesn't bother me in the least, because it isn't an evil cockroach plotting to take over the world.  Cockroaches are a perfectly appropriate thing to fear.  Snakes eat cockroaches, in fact.  So snakes are awesome.

Not everyone agrees.  

On the other hand, was this particular spider fake?  I looked at the picture again.  Nobody stomped on that spider.  It looked as though it had just died, perhaps of old age, in spider terms.  The legs looked kind of off to me.  But why would someone bring a fake Black Widow spider to a school and drop it at the door?  Did it fall out of someone's pocket?

I decided that I was overthinking the entire situation.  I do that.  Whether this spider is deceased or fake was irrelevant at this point. If it was real, I hope it died of natural causes, but whatever.  It's in spider heaven, snacking on freshly wrapped flies and spinning the most beautiful webs ever.

You Can't Post That!

"You can't post that picture, Mom!"  Zane informed me.

"Why not?  I'm dressed."  I replied. "What is wrong with this picture?"

"That hat looks funny."  Zane was emphatic.  He was issuing a firm veto.  I could see his point.

"It does look funny," I said. I couldn't find mine before the game, so I grabbed Larry's hat instead.  "But I'm posting it any way."

Zane didn't respond; he'd wandered off.  Seven year olds aren't known for their attention spans. He had wandered into another room to finish some sort of war between his Legos and Minecraft figures.  He had made his wishes known, and as his mother, I'm supposed to cater to his whims.  Children are little dictators sometimes.

There's a little part of me that always wants to do the opposite of whatever people demand of me.  I guess I have a bit of rebelliousness in my bones. My parents could share numerous stories of my many attempts at stepping over their boundaries. If someone tells me that I can't sit in a particular spot, it just makes me want to park my backside right in that very spot.  It doesn't really matter who is telling me that I can't do a thing; a challenge has been issued, and I must respond.  

So I hit that 'publish' button. It's these little harmless rebellions that keep that smile on my face most days. 

How To Eat A Watermelon

Appetizing.

Anticipate.

Savor.

Delightful.

(And then Mom saw her floor...)

Obedient.

Angelic.

Really.

Contemplate...

Scrumptious!

*I went over the nine words, but to be fair, I was high on watermelon fumes. 




2.) 9 pictures. 9 words. (inspired by Bits of Bee)

I Have No Idea

At Zane's school, they take pictures of the kids engaged in art activities.  I'm missing out on huge chunks of my son's life while I'm a slave to a paycheck,  so I like this idea.   It would be nice if more classrooms did this, but considering the general lack of funding for education, I'm not holding my breath.

The teachers ask the kids about what they are working on and type that up as a quote to go with the picture.  That's where I get sidetracked, because often the quote does not match the picture at all. In the picture above, for instance, Zane is coloring an unidentifiable picture, and he says, "Mine is big."

What the heck is that boy talking about?  

What, exactly,  is big?  The picture?  Is this some sort of new four-year-old slang?  I don't get it.  I used to get it.   I hate that I don't get it.  Is this what I have to look forward to, this not having a clue what is going on?  I used to pride myself on being able to figure things out, but apparently that ship has sailed.  I am afraid that one day soon I will be sitting in a room, surrounded by teenagers, and be unable to understand a word any of them say. 

All Over The Place

The tag said that this was a crocodile, but I'm pretty sure that it's a alligator. My husband just mentioned that this particular fake reptile made him a little nervous, and I come downstairs and find this. I know that there's a perfectly reasonable explanation. Alligators don't like frosted animal crackers.

They do like marshmallows, however. I learned that from watching True Blood. You can actually learn useful things from the television, I don't care what all those psychologists say! I was about to go on a tour of the swamps of Louisiana with marshmallows for snacking, and now I know to take chocolate instead.

Why are they called marshmallows, anyway? And there isn't any ham in hamburgers, so why are they called that? Who decides this sort of thing? Is there a government office somewhere? If so, where do I apply?

I can't talk about politics around here because there are too many Republicans who have concealed handgun licenses. I refuse to own a gun, however, because the rule in our house is that if you kill it, you eat it. There isn't enough ketchup in the world.

Say what you will about Tom Cruise, I kind of like him in action movies. Of course, he doesn't do very much talking in those movies, which is a plus.

My cat Pounce is sitting on the printer next to me, like a vulture. Does she know something?

My thinking is pretty random today, isn't it?

This is my last "work-free" day. Technically, anyway. I've already been logging in from home, trying to figure out some computer glitches here and there. Serves me right for answering the dang phone. It has been wonderful not thinking about work.

Someone needs to give me a couple million dollars so I can stay home all day and just be a philanthropist-type who wears big hats and 'lunches'.

I could learn to love big hats, if I got free lunches out of the deal.

It Pays To Look Up Once In Awhile

In case you can't see it, the way the clouds are shaped, I can see the outline of a dove in the sky of this picture.

I took it with my cell phone. I didn't think that it would come out, because this was close to sunset, but it did.

I think that sometimes we are so focused on what is in front of us, on putting one foot in front of the other, that we miss some of the beauty that pops up every now and then.

So my wish for everyone today is that you have the time, even if it is just a minute, look up and see at least one beautiful thing today, be it a cloud, a flower, or the smile of your children.

Semi-Wordless Wednesday

I just realized that I need to get some more recent pictures of me with my son. This is one of two decent pictures of the two of us together:



Now, Father/Son pictures? There are TONS of these, because I am the one taking them. This one was taken just last month.



I guess I need to try harder. And bribe my child to participate.