A World Without Lines

See that line? That yellow rope? That boundary drawn for the express purpose of keeping people away from touching the extremely expensive, one of a kind trains? If you look closely, you can just see the speculative look on my son's face. Just seconds after I snapped this picture, Zane was underneath that yellow rope, heading for that train. Without my husband's well-timed ankle grab, things would not have ended well.

My kid is generally a well-behaved child, interested in anything and everything around him. He says "Yes, ma'am." He follows most rules and routines. Yet when he sees a "line" of any kind, any sort of barrier, it's an open invitation. His eyes positively light up at the challenge. It is almost physically impossible for him to refrain from at least attempting to move beyond any sort of physical boundary. My sister-in-law told us a story once about how she put up one of those gates to keep Zane in the living room. Zane sat there in front of the gate, just staring at it. Then he stood up, grabbed the gate and started rocking with it, until the gate fell down. At the time, I marveled at my child being smart enough to figure out how to get the gate down. Now I wonder.

There are very definitely some boundaries that are not supposed to be crossed, no matter how challenging they may be. There's a reason that there's a gate around Fort Knox, for example. Some doors are locked because what is behind them is dangerous. I would hope that Zane will understand that very fine distinction, and so far he seems to hear us when we tell him that he might get hurt. And yet...

Galileo(or was it Copernicus?) was shown the boundary, established by the Church, that said the sun rotated around the earth. He ignored that boundary, and discovered that the earth went around the sun instead. The first surgeon ignored the boundaries of his time, which did not allow for opening up the body to look for illness. The first explorers of the world ignored the conventional wisdom that said the world was flat. Every 'first', every creator, every explorer, every theorist, pushed past a boundary to find something new. In these cases, not recognizing a boundary led to something wonderful. That is what I would hope for my son's future; that he see boundaries as something to push over and move past. At least, those boundaries which are not going to get him arrested.

There are lots of 'boundaries' in our lives, and most of them, like 'don't stick your finger in an electrical outlet', are there for a good reason. But what if we ignored some of those established boundaries? the ones that seem arbitrary and archaic. Useless. When those boundaries are breached, it seems almost mystical. Maybe if we listen to that voice inside us that says "Ignore this boundary" on occasion, maybe something miraculous will come of it.

Today, I am going to be daring and push past an established boundary. I am not sure what it will be, or how grand my gesture will be. Maybe I'll spend the day saying exactly what I think. Or maybe I'll just loudly fart in a public place. It'll depend on what I have for lunch.

Explorers Ahoy!

Zane and I went to the park this morning! It was nice and cool, with a bit of a breeze. We walked through the middle of the park, venturing off the walking path to climb on rocks and sticks and creepy-crawlies.


Boys can't go exploring without looking for a big stick. It's a rule or something.


This is the web of a funnel web weaver spider. They build their webs on the ground and hide inside their 'funnels'.


We found some fake dinosaur tracks to poke with the previously mentioned stick.


There were 'huge-big' rocks for little boys to climb on, and Zane had tons of fun climbing to the top.


"I'm king of the world, Mom!"

I sometimes forget how much I like to walk through parks, exploring. It's nice that I have Zane to go exploring with me. I hope we find a snake next week!

The Things My Son Learns at Daycare

WARNING: this post may be viewed by some as offensive, due to the topic. If you are this type, don't read this post today. Also, don't read this during breakfast. Or lunch. Or afternoon snack. Pretty much any sort of eating. Actually, this post might make a great diet aid, since it might make you lose your appetite and not eat that giant piece of yummy cake that's sitting on the counter in the kitchen.

Zane and I are heading to the grocery store.

"We don't eat poop, Mama," Zane announces.

"Uh...okay. Good to know." What else was I supposed to say?

At first I thought that I would talk to his teacher, maybe get some context for that comment. Was this a playground conversation? If so, ick.

There's probably a perfectly logical explanation as to why my son would hear that sentence during his time at daycare. And polite society frowns upon poop eating, at least in this part of the world, so this little gem is definitely a good piece of knowledge to acquire. We don't eat poop*.

But a significant pillar of childhood involves exploration. Kids, even kids with special needs, have to be able to look with wonder at what is around their house, their yard, their community, and the world. They must experience the world with their five senses, including taste. Children learn their world during those first critical years by sailing into what is for them uncharted waters. Part of that exploration involves risk.

If you pick up that bug, it will sting you.

Eating that green apple may make you sick.

Poking your sister with a cattle prod will get you sent to bed with no dinner.

Many children have anxious parents(*raises hand*) who want to shield their kids from risk, if they can. This is understandable. Risks hurt sometimes. But risks can also reap some pretty badass rewards, too.

Riding a bike.

Writing an essay that wins a contest.

Hitting a home run.

Raising a hand in class and getting the correct answer.

Scoring a goal.

Parents want the good stuff for their kids, but there needs to be a balance--kids have to learn to problem solve so they can use those skills when they are not with adults. This may mean that your child experiences something that you may find undesirable or inappropriate or just plain weird.

That's when a parent may need to take a deep breath, and roll with it. After all, there will be lots of moments, when the child becomes and adult, when they will encounter people, places, or things that are undesirable, inappropriate, or just plain weird. Sometimes MY child might be the one who fits these descriptions.

It will be better for my son that he is not blindsided by these situations, that he is willing to take some risks and explore the world. It may kill me to watch him climb to the top of the playground equipment or get his heart broken by a girl, but I have to let him do this. I have to let him find his own way. I know all this, I believe all this, but...

I really hope that he didn't eat any poop at daycare, that he acquired the knowledge that "we don't eat poop" vicariously. I don't think this makes me a bad person.


*Unless you're talking about that extremely expensive coffee that is made from beans that have been eaten by a particular type of cat and then pooped out. Well, in that case, poop-eating is okay. For those people. Not for me.