Rogue One-ing We Will Go

Rogue One  the latest sage of the Star Wars world, starts showing in our part of the world today, and of course we will be there to watch.  With this big of an event in geek life, however, there was some preparation involved.  My husband found a website(the Nerdist, I think), which detailed all of the movies, and animated series episodes to peruse prior to seeing the film.  The Star Wars universe is an immense one, and everything is interconnected.  So, if you have spent any time at all watching the animated series the Clone Wars, or Star Wars Rebels, you will have a few more pieces of the puzzle in Rogue One than the average viewer. Rewatch the second and the third movies, and you'll have a few more, and you'll understand some of the in jokes and 

I'm not a gung-ho Star Wars fan, I'll admit that without shame.  Larry is gung-ho enough for a small country.   That man can reveal entire character lineages, discuss the construction of light sabers and quote vague myths from the Star Wars universe, and that's just fine. It's like that whole Sith thing; there can only be one per family, and Larry has that role. He and Zane discuss Star Wars quite a bit. As for me,  Lucas' efforts to turn an extremely whiny and entitled Anakin Skywalker into Darth Vader, one of the most fearsome villains ever, has lead to some fierce conversations at our house.  Oh yes.  I went there.  I don't like whiny people.  Why would I find anything at all to like about a whiny guy with breathing problems?  I'm supposed to respect that guy?  Let's face it, I'd probably be the first person Vader force choked, because I wouldn't be able to resist making snarky comments. 

But since I love my husband and son, I've sat and watched as much of what Larry has viewed as I can.  Zane has watched, too, with his usual in-and-out attention span.  He has even watched a few YouTube videos, all on his own.  Something about Order 66, I think.  Larry was very proud. 

Star Wars is something we can do as a family, no matter how much of the universe we know.  Everyone loves a good story, and although the Star Wars universe is extremely derivative, it is a rousing good tale. I think that was, ultimately, George Lucas' motivation, way back when.  So tonight,  we will be at the theater, center of the row.  There will be popcorn, and Icees, and a crowd ready for anything  By the time the movie starts, we'll all be giddy.  

Good times. 

Star Wars Annoys Me

I know.

I'm a bad person.  I should love Star Wars.  I should adore Luke and Leia and their family drama.  I should be excited about Anakin and his pod racing self.   I should be thrilled over Han and Chewie and C-3PO.

And I am.  Mostly.  There isn't a woman alive who doesn't find Han Solo just plain irresistible, with his swagger and cocky smile.  He may not always make the best choices, but he is witty and decisive.  And Luke is the quintessential white knight on a quest to rescue the princess.  It's a timeless tale for a reason.  Good is good, and evil is evil, and really, there is no in between.

And Darth Vader is one of the greatest villains ever.  Really.  Tall, dark, with just enough under that hood to make you wonder what's underneath that mask. That guy just looks at a person and they pee their pants.  And then they had to go and make those other movies.  George Lucas must have been high that day.

Why did they have to muddy the waters?  Anakin is an angry, whiny, entitled brat. He becomes an angry, whiny, entitled adult. He's rescued from slavery, but he leaves his mother behind.  For years, he can't be bothered to go and visit her, then he's mad that when he does decide to visit, she inconveniently dies on him. This is supposed to be the reason that he starts turning to the dark side.   He doesn't want to follow the rules of the Jedi, so he breaks them when he feels like it, such as secretly marrying Padme and fathering twins.  But then he gets angry when the Jedi don't promote him to master because he doesn't follow the freakin' rules of their order.

How am I supposed to have empathy for that?  How am I supposed to like that guy?  Why am I supposed to care that he becomes Darth Vader?  I get it--the road to the dark side is paved with good intentions.  I'm supposed to feel sorry for poor Anakin.  He meant well, after all.  He just wanted to keep his loved ones safe.  That's why he killed all those people.  Anakin is just misunderstood.

I hate that crap.  Even if Vader is ultimately redeemed by his final act, he is still a Big Bad. There's no reason to feel sorry for him.  He made his own choices, even if he was manipulated into choosing poorly.  To make him the dupe, doing the wrong things for the "right" reasons, cheapens the story and makes an excellent villain somehow less than he should be.

And it's annoying.  Stop it.

Darth Vader is the Good Guy?

My son and his father have been watching various Star Wars movies and television shows. They have not seen the newer movies, episodes 1-3, because my husband has a very real fear that Zane will decide that Jar Jar is totally awesome, and Larry loathes Jar Jar with the passion of a thousand white-hot suns. The two of them have also been watching The Clone Wars, and occasionally I catch part of the show.

The Star Wars movies, and the animated series The Clone Wars, are directly marketed to kids. Anakin Skywalker is the hero of the animated show, as far as I can tell. For those who are not acquainted with the story(or those who think that George Lucas should have stopped after the first three movies), Anakin Skywalker, Luke's daddy, becomes...Darth Vader. One of the archetypes of evil.

Yep. The biggest, baddest, evil-est dude in that galaxy far, far, away...is a hero to millions of kids out there. Kids who haven't made the connection between the name Anakin and Darth Vader. What happens when they do make that connection?
This is a super-heavy concept, this idea of a holy warrior ultimately throwing everything away and killing everything in his path to embrace evil, aka the dark side. There is no true happy ending for Anakin. Even if he was ultimately redeemed by his son, Darth Vader spent his life doing many evil things, and he never had a second thought about it, at least not before Luke showed up.

The first three Star Wars movies delineated good and evil perfectly. Everyone knew who was on 'the Dark Side', and there was no doubt. The boundaries were clear--this was good, and this was bad. Darth Vader was very obviously on the bad side, and his very being exuded his evilness, even from the rows of a darkened movie theater.

We had moral certainty. Darth Vader=Evil

But that second trio of movies threw a hitch in there: it turns out that Darth Vader hadn't always been evil. No, Darth had started life as an adorable little blonde kid who grew up to be a Jedi, a hero. He wasn't really bad; he just became that way, at least as far as the movies were concerned.

Our moral certainty went out the window. It went out the window and made a horrific sound as it hit the pavement.

Yet, at some level, we understood the meaning, that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Anakin's journey to the Dark Side began with his intentions of doing good things. Many of us out there have been faced with similar choices, minus the light sabers. Does that mean that we are evil? If so, can we be forgiven?

At some point, my son is going to make the connection, that Anakin=Darth Vader=Evil?. It may be a traumatic realization for him. Of course, I hope that my sweet boy doesn't have his epiphany until he is much, much older. I really don't know how I will answer his future questions; I haven't answered those questions satisfactorily for my self. I would like a little more time to find some answers that make sense.

Imaginations can Run Amok

I know a lot about Star Trek. I know next to nothing about Star Wars. I only barely know who is on which side of the conflict. I certainly know nothing about the tech. But that doesn't mean that I can't improvise.

"Mama what's that robot's name?"

"George. His name is George." I never said that I improvised well, just that I could.

My son gives me the "look". The one that says "Come on! Do I look like I'm buying that bridge?" I get that look a lot. Zane turns to his father.

"Daddy what's that robot's name?"

"That is C456PO, and that is C3PO's original prototype from a short film made by Lucas in the sixties." Larry says all that stuff with a straight face.

I give him the "look". He shows me the Wikipage. I throw his laptop at him.

I can remember playing with my dolls as a kid; giving them pretend food, dressing them up, making a 'house' using chairs and a blanket, and all that girlie stuff. Using my imagination for good, instead of evil. I never thought about boys doing that very same thing. Zane is just getting into Star Wars. We watched the movies. Zane has some action figures from the movies. He seems to enjoy playing with them in the same way that I played with my dolls. (action figures are not dolls, I have been warned not to go there. I will refrain. For now.)

Zane has Darth Vader in one hand, and Luke Skywalker in the other. He has them "standing" on the ottoman. There's the 'pew-pew' sound of pretend shooting.

Darth Vader: "Nanny-nanny boo boo! You can't catch me!" *Darth breathing sounds*

Luke Skywalker: "Give me my light saber or I am going to bump your head!"

"Something stinks! Chewbacca, you a poopyhead! That is not nice!"

See, if George Lucas would have used THAT dialogue, the movies would have won many Oscars. Emperor Palpatine has many opportunities to yell "Nanny-nanny boo boo!" on the Death Star alone! It would be a first for a character to win an Oscar for saying "Nanny-nanny boo boo!"

Midnight at the Mos Eisley Cantina

We have a feral cat living in our back yard. He's a very round, yellow, shorthaired cat that we named Lalo(because that rhymes with 'yellow'). Well, at least we think it's a 'he', because it's never been preggers as far as we can tell.

Lalo lives on our patio, sleeping on the chair cushions when it's sunny, and underneath various places when it is raining. Sometimes he wanders off, but he always shows up eventually We put food out for Lalo, and make sure he has water, and that's about it. I always wondered if other animals were eating the food we put out, so one day I started watching.

There are other feral cats who wander into our yard; Two Socks, Blondie, and Moe are their names(I give them nicknames, sue me). But Lalo has planted his flag on the patio and no matter who else comes through his territory, he stays. Birds of all sizes/varieties show up during the day to grab some of Lalo's food(I wonder if they can tell they're eating chicken? And if so, what do they think it tastes like?). Some of the birds will dunk the cat food into the water dish to soften it up; which I think is pretty cool, except it messes up the water. There are possum who come by at night to snack on Lalo's food and get a drink as well. One night we saw what was probably an entire possum family--Mom, Dad, and the two kids--chowing down. Also cool. Lalo just sits or lays on his cushion and watches(or snoozes), and none of the other critters seems to pay much attention to him. Watching all this makes me think of that bar in Star Wars, if all the characters had been animals.

Tonight as I was turning off all the lights for the night, I glanced outside and saw Lalo curled up asleep on his cushion. And nearby, chowing down, was a thirty pound raccoon. I did a double take. My friend Jillsmo often speaks about all the raccoons they have in Berkeley and how they will come into your house and eat your food and drink all your beer and play all your Xbox games before sleeping in your bed. I thought about going outside and shooing it off--my husband will not share his Call of Duty game under any circumstances--but then I decided to just turn off the lights and go to bed.

After making sure the door was locked. Raccoons are tricksy.

Very Important Philosophical Questions

This morning my husband attempted to show my son Star Wars. Zane was only interested in the first five minutes, like he is with most movies...except Star Trek. And secretly I think that is awesome.

I am a Star Trek person. My husband claimed to be a Star Trek geek. In fact, that's sort of how we met: we were waiting for a parent to show up for a meeting, and in the course of our conversation Star Trek was mentioned. My husband claims that he was smitten at that moment. Except he's not really a ST geek, because he really only likes The Next Generation and Captain Picard. I let this slide in the name of love. Unfortunately, my husband also loves Star Wars. He's bi-sci-fi, I guess you could say. While I was as enamored of Han Solo as every other woman on Planet Earth, I was never quite converted to the Church of Star Wars.

I use the word "church" because when the average ST geeks and the SW geeks get together, it almost seems to approach the fervor of a Pentecostal revival the way the arguments fly over which is best and why. These people don't seem to practice religious tolerance, either: I've known perfectly calm and rational individuals to come out fighting if you slander "their show" by saying that Jar Jar was adorable or that Spock's ears are crooked.

We've already decided to raise Zane as Catholic with a side of Methodist, but we have not discussed the ST vs. SW question. My feeling is that there are advantages to both 'religions'. With SW you get to play with a light saber a lot, hang out in seedy bars with bounty hunters, and use the Force to smack people around. With ST you get to dance with some scantily clad green women, time travel, fight Klingons, and drink Romulan ale(throw in Duran Duran and we are describing my college years). Both ST and SW have characters that are archetypes that offer guidance on how to approach life, so that's not necessarily a deal breaker. But dammit, ST has George Takei! I think George Takei trumps Chewbacca any day!

Once the ST vs. SW question is resolved, hopefully before Zane is in his forties, there's an even bigger philosophical question we as parents will have to address, one that could have long-term repercussions for Zane and his ability to live in the state of Texas: Beans in the chili or no beans?

This parenting gig is tough!!