Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Microfiction: Mama Said

Mama said

That man a rascal, but
I told that girl plain:

Stay away.

That man
He's mine.

She don't listen.

Now
I sit in the dark

The porch swing,
Swaying,

I'm burning

Waiting for that man,

My knife
Slick with blood.





6 comments:

  1. Loved the accent, I could see that crazy, lust-filled woman swaying. (Such a great word for the waiting..the swaying)

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  2. Now that is a very vivid piece! Really striking.

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  3. The imagery complete with the accent you chose brought your character and story to life. Awesome!

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  4. Very vivid! Especially that accent.

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  5. Wonderful voice this mama has, but she is obviously a woman not to be crossed. Fantastic how you got so much story into this.

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  6. Love the voice! Your 42 words pack a mean punch. Nice job!

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I welcome comments, but reserve the right to correct your spelling because I am OCD about it!