Everyone Needs Superhero Underpants

This is an update of a post I ran in the summer last year.  I'm feeling retro today!


I was conducting my never-ending battle with the laundry yesterday, and as I was pulling items out of the dryer I noticed that my son has Green Lantern underpants.



I did not buy any Green Lantern items for my son--my husband and his mother did that.  Our house, since the movie came out, has been inundated with GL sheets, GL toys, GL towels, GL jammies, GL t-shirts...you get the picture. All of these items have the Ryan Reynolds version of Green Lantern because they are all based on the movie. There are enough pictures of Ryan Reynolds on enough items to qualify us as the home of a stalker. My husband and son are just average fanboys, so it's all good. Looking at those underpants, however, I suddenly realized that my son has been running around with Ryan Reynolds' picture on his little backside.(It sort of looks like Ryan Reynolds to me, anyway)

Do you know how many women would be fighting to have Ryan Reynolds on their backside? Even with my math skills being horrible, that is an extremely high number! So why don't they sell this sort of garment to women? Think how many women would pay a heck of a lot of money to have a picture of their favorite celebrity hunk on their underpants. They may not ever meet George Clooney, but they could 'wear' him out for a night on the town.

Someone might mention the whole "my man won't find those underpants sexy in the least" aspect to this discussion. Fair enough. We all want to wear the sexy underpants that are most likely to flip the passion switch. Remember that scene in Bridget Jones' Diary, where Bridget excuses herself so she can change into her sexy underpants while an unexpected date waits in the other room? Who over thirty hasn't done that at least once in their lives? Nobody wants to face their first time wearing unromantic panties. 

However, what do we usually wear on days that aren't date night? Plain old cotton--whether it's a bikini, a thong, boy short, or briefs. There is not a darn thing wrong with cotton--it's comfortable, and most days cotton underwear doesn't get bunched up, which is a definite bonus. The fact is that most of us live our lives in the underpants that are most comfortable to us, and those are not usually from Victoria's Secret.  Why can't we have pictures of superheroes on our underpants, too?  I know that my day would certainly feel braver knowing I was wearing Batman underpants.  I know that wearing superhero underpants makes my son very happy--I just think that women should get to play, too!

Women are major purchasers of underpants in this country. We do most of the shopping for our families, and that includes unmentionables. If we asked for pictures on our underpants, companies would have to listen. I've seen underpants for women that have writing on them. It wouldn't be that much of a stretch to have a picture instead. And what is wrong with having a picture of Ryan Reynolds*, Han Solo, or Superman on the backside of those underpants?

Not a darn thing.


*Disclaimer: I have no wish to wear underpants with Ryan Reynolds on them. He is merely an example. I promise! And no, you can't have the pair pictured!  Ew.

Contemplating Underpants

I was conducting my never-ending battle with the laundry yesterday, and as I was pulling items out of the dryer I noticed that my son has Green Lantern underpants.



I did not buy any Green Lantern items for my son--my husband and his mother did that. The Green Lantern movie came out this summer(for those who pay attention). Our house has been inundated with GL sheets, GL toys, GL towels, GL jammies, GL t-shirts...you get the picture. All of these items have the Ryan Reynolds version of Green Lantern because they are all based on the movie. There are enough pictures of Ryan Reynolds on enough items to qualify us as the home of a stalker. My husband and son are just average fanboys, so it's all good. Looking at those underpants, however, I suddenly realized that my son has been running around with Ryan Reynolds' picture on his little backside.

Do you know how many women would be fighting to have Ryan Reynolds on their backside? Even with my math skills being horrible, that is an extremely high number! So why don't they sell this sort of garment to women? Think how many women would pay a heck of a lot of money to have a picture of their favorite celebrity hunk on their underpants. They may not ever meet George Clooney, but they could 'wear' him out for a night on the town.

Someone might mention the whole "my man won't find those underpants sexy in the least" aspect to this discussion. Fair enough. We all want to wear the sexy underpants that are most likely to flip the passion switch. Remember that scene in Bridget Jones' Diary, where Bridget excuses herself so she can change into her sexy underpants while an unexpected date waits in the other room? Who over thirty hasn't done that at least once?

But what do we usually wear on days that aren't date night? Plain old cotton--whether it's a bikini, a thong, boy short, or briefs. There is not a darn thing wrong with cotton--it's comfortable, and most days cotton underwear doesn't get bunched up, which is a definite bonus.

Women are major purchasers of underpants in this country. We do most of the shopping for our families, and that includes unmentionables. If we asked for pictures on our underpants, companies would have to listen. I've seen underpants for women that have writing on them. It wouldn't be that much of a stretch to have a picture instead. And what is wrong with having a picture of Ryan Reynolds* on the backside of those underpants?

Not a darn thing.


*Disclaimer: I have no wish to wear underpants with Ryan Reynolds on them. He is merely an example. I promise! And no, you can't have the pair pictured!

Crouching T-shirts, Hidden Socks

Laundry is trying to kill me.

What else can I think?

I am very vigilant about laundry. Some might even venture to say anal, if they like to be smacked upside the head. Every Saturday morning, I militantly march through the house, collecting clothes from hampers and towels from bathrooms. I leave no couch pillow unturned in my efforts. I even look underneath the couch for random socks. Every single bit of dirty clothing ends up in various piles on the floor in the laundry room. All of it is washed meticulously in the correct temperature, then thrown into the dryer or hung up to air dry. Each sock is paired with a mate, and even the washcloths are folded. All clean clothes are placed into assigned baskets, depending on their ultimate resting place, and all items are returned to closets, drawers, and towel racks. Where they are supposed to belong.

Yet after the last tiny pair of Marvel Superhero underpants(not mine, thank you!) have been folded and put away, I'll turn around...

...to find an extra-large Green Lantern t-shirt stalking me from atop the bookshelf.

Coming downstairs bleary-eyed in the morning, I find...

...a mine field of tiny socks, man-sized shirts, and jeans, large and small, strewn in my path. Where do they come from? I don't even recognize some of these items!

The other day I found a tube sock stretched across the top of the stairs, waiting to trip me.

It's as if my home is a vortex where clothing is deposited, like one of those survival/hunting shows, to stalk human prey.

Cue the violin from Psycho.

Sometimes We Need to Carry Our Super Friends With Us

Zane is very interested in dressing himself now, and we are willing to let him do this, within reason. The other night Zane was undressing to get into the bathtub. I poured some Mr. Bubble under the running faucet and turned around.

Zane was having trouble with his underpants. He was having trouble because he was wearing four pairs of underpants. Captain America, Spiderman, Superman, and the Hulk were all present and accounted for. I helped Zane get those superheroes off, and then Zane was able to get into the tub.

I guess that Zane was expecting some challenges to appear in his day. In anticipation of these challenges, my son brought along his heroes as reinforcements. He probably felt very prepared for whatever came his way.
I am a bit jealous. I want to have some superhero underpants that I can wear on tough days.

Surprise!

I forgot how quick kittens are, and how they are sometimes easy to miss because of their size. And I forgot that kittens like to climb. I also forgot that those tiny, tiny claws are REALLLLLY sharp.

Zena, as we have decided to call her, likes to run around in Stealth Kitty mode and attack my foot while I am walking, so I've accidentally punted her a couple of times. She has also decided that I am her personal jungle gym. I will suddenly feel sharp tiny pinpricks as Zena leaps onto my pant leg and starts climbing. If I'm not wearing pants, she leaps for the bottom of my skirt, or nightgown, or shirt.

Tonight Zena apparently followed me into the bathroom. I'm sitting there quietly, minding my own business, when all of a sudden...there's a kitten hanging from my underpants. A cacophony of screaming and meowing followed, because I don't know who was more surprised.