I Was a Troll

The techie guy at work put out a note on our website that used the word "inputted", as in "...the dates will be inputted by the school psychologists"   The way the sentence was written seemed incorrect. Perhaps it was a slow day inside my brain.  It sounded wrong to me, so I mentioned that to the techie person, just in passing.  I wasn't challenging him, I just said that it sounded funny. The techie guy informed me, in the usual condescending tone all Technology Guys seem to have, that he wasn't the one who wrote that particular sentence.

Okay, I said.

What I should have said was nothing.  I should have just kept my mouth shut.  I got a lengthy email the next morning from the techie person regarding the fact that yes, indeed, "inputted" was a word, complete with references to the Oxford English Dictionary, page numbers included. For a comment about a sentence that he did not even write!

But I laughed hard when I read the email. The kind of laughter that comes from your belly and makes you feel as though you just completed a sprint.  The kind of laughter that just forces the positive to surge to the surface and ooze out of your pores, no matter how hard you try to keep it inside. The kind of laughter that clears out the chemo fog and makes you feel energetic, at least for a few minutes.

Why was I laughing?

Because I used to do stuff like that all the time in my teens.  I was horrible about it. I cringe now, but I had to be right. I had to correct everyone's grammar and make sure that their facts were correct at all times.  Since we moved often, I needed some sort of control over something, and being right was it.  The positive side of this behavior resulted in people talking to me and asking me questions, and complimenting me for being "smart".  The negative side of my bad habit was that I was kind of a jerk.  To be fair, I hadn't really mastered the whole social skills thing yet, but that's no excuse.

I was a troll, to use today's internet vernacular. 

This was before the internet, too, so you can just imagine how insufferable I was to be around. How evil was I?  My cousins used to write me letters; I sent them back with errors circled.  It was so important for me to be right that I once humiliated a boy that I had a major crush on because he said that cold sores were not herpes.  I provided him a two paged typed report, with footnotes, which he thought was a love note and opened in front of his peers. I was lonely and dateless on Saturday night, but I was right, by God.

I grew up and got over myself.  I had a major epiphany in college, when I realized that there were a great many kids just like me and got to view their behavior and compare it to my own. They were pompous, insufferable jerks, and I wanted to punch most of them right in the face.  But that anger made me take a hard look at myself.  It wasn't pretty, and I decided to make a change. I began to focus on the person, not on their perceived mistakes, and that's made all the difference.

The fact is that, while I do know some things about some topics,  I'm not always right.  I accept that. While I am well-read and love learning, I certainly don't know everything.  That's okay.   By hyperfocusing on such meaningless things, a person might miss the bigger picture.  I love the big picture. Especially now, with my days being measured out via doctor visits and chemo treatments. With so much to learn, and so many facts changing every second due, who has time to focus on just one tiny "wrong" particle in this vast universe? 

I do not.  And I'm okay with that.  

Computer Wisdom

Most of what I know about computers is self-taught. I didn't major in computers or run off to get a piece of paper from Microsoft so I could feel superior to the multitude. I never bought any of the "Dummies" books. Except for the one about wine; but that was extremely important to my well-being at the time.

My computer education has occurred on the job, as I either sit in front of the screen pressing buttons and making threats until the machine does what I want, or I find a manual and reference the information.

Sometimes I shake my laptop as if it were an Etch-a-Sketch. Just kidding.

But I've noticed a couple of things along my path of learning, and I would like to share my wisdom with you. Some of this stuff could probably apply to life as well, but I won't get preachy.

In any office, the one who knows how to clear a paper jam out of the printer is automatically tagged as "tech support" and is the person of first resort any time ANYTHING vaguely resembling a technology device breaks down. Such as the digital clock

If one thing is wrong with a computer that two people use, it is always the other guy's fault. Especially if that person is not in the room. Oh, and that absent person also downloaded porn. And viruses.

If anyone asks, say that you read the manual. If this statement is contested, demand to be shown the page where the information is found. Be as snotty as possible, no matter what. Snotty people almost never get smacked upside the head with the manual.

If your 'ESC' key pops off your keyboard, this is a clear sign that you need a vacation if it happens before noon, or a margarita if it happens after. If the key pops off right at twelve noon on the dot, you can have both.

Technology geeks do not like anyone crying on their equipment. The computer kind, I mean. Not even tears of joy.

Ctrl-Alt-Del is your friend. I don't know what the equivalent of that is for Apple. Ctrl-Apple-?

If all else fails, and you must take your computer down into the bowels of your building to the REAL tech support people, remember that they won't make you fill out a work order if you bring doughnuts. Or a case of Dr. Pepper. Or a year's subscription to Xbox-Live. Cash would likely be acceptable, too.

When in doubt, reboot.

The Tech Support in this Place Sucks

We have an application that we use in my school district. We use it for all of our paperwork. It keeps everything in one central place, and those of us with access can use it to conduct IEP meetings, write reports, and create IEPs(IEP have to do with special education). I am the system administrator for this application. It's a great application, and I love it because it helps me do what I am supposed to do.

I do not love being tech support.

When we make any changes in our application, my department sends out detailed instructions if any are needed. These are the most beautiful instructions ever, I think. These instructions have pictures with little arrows pointing at important stuff. line by line sequential instructions, highlighted portions, etc. Probably the only entity that I have ever known to have instructions this detailed is the CDC.

Most people who use this application have no problems with it. They download the plug-in that gives them access, log in, and all is right with the world. Others get stuck, and then they call me. Which is a big mistake. I have very few people skills and I HATE talking on the phone.

I love this application, however, and I think that it is an extremely valuable tool. So I take the time to write up detailed instructions, and I take the time to visit campuses when they need help with the detailed instructions. This is all in addition to my "REAL" job, mind you. Most of my calls have to do with people forgetting their passwords, but a great many of the other calls go like this:


Me: "This is Tina"

Random person: "Yeah, I can't log into the program."

Me: "Did you read the instructions?"

Random: "It won't let me log on at all."

Me: "But did you read the instructions?"

Random: "I tried three different passwords, but none of them worked."

Me: "Yes, but did you read the instructions?"

Random: "But it won't let me log on, and I have to do an IEP for an 8am meeting!"

Me: "So have you read the instructions?"

Random: "No, but I really need you to help me because I have this IEP meeting..."

Me: "How long have you known about this IEP meeting?"

Random: "About three weeks, but I really need your help. I can't log in."

Me: *click*

I don't really hang up, but sometimes I would like to! I try my best to help them. I am always polite and respectful. My boss still gets phone calls saying that I was rude. And unhelpful, even! That hurts my feelings!

Tech support people aren't supposed to have feelings! I suck at this job.

Are there things that you do to help others that garner complaints instead of compliments? If so, what do you do?