Marketing 101

I received this catalog in the mail the other day. Normally, I just toss all of the catalogs into the recycle bin with nary a glance. This one, however, made me pause. 

What the hell were they thinking?

This company sent this catalog. To my house. Targeting me as a potential customer.

They sent this catalog featuring a pale, scrawny blonde wearing white clothing(before Easter, mind you!) to a pasty, rotund brunette who owns not a single item of clothing that is white. 

My first thought when I saw this picture was that this woman really needed a sandwich or two. Also, that she looks too good to be a mom. Real moms don't wear white! She should have at least a grass stain on the knee of those pants.

What is the message here?  Am I supposed to identify with this woman? Is the sight of this woman supposed to make me immediately run out and get a makeover? I already have a poor body image, thank you very much!  Am I supposed to drop everything and buy something white?  Because if that's the case, I'm going to need to invest in a good stain remover.

Besides the implied message that I am not worthy, this was a mass mailing to my area.  I cannot imagine what the other women in this zip code must think. There is a distinct shortage of pale, scrawny blonde women.  Are we all supposed to feel bad that we are not blonde and cannot safely wear white? 

Listen up, Marketing people!  I don't understand why I have to explain this to you, but it's very important that you pay attention now.

This is a town full of beautiful, voluptuous women. Women who are every color under the sun. Women who are not even close to scrawny. Women who won't wear white because food keeps landing on their chests.  Mothers who actually play with their children and get dirty. Women who deserve respect. 

I do not subscribe to this idea that a skinny blonde represents the only ideal beauty in this town, or anywhere else.  I will not support any business that does not respect the individual differences in the real women who live here.

True beautiful is one size fits all.

What's in a Name?

"They" say that location is everything in business. 'Location, location, location' is the mantra. It is very true the the location of a business is vital to a business' success. It's not a good idea to place an ice cream parlor next door to a Weight Watchers, for instance. Or a lingerie store next to a store that sells bible.

There is more to a business' success than just the location. There is a lot of effort and hard work put into the success of every business. Owners put their hearts and souls into making lots of money by selling us cakes, books, coffee, cars, etc. But there is one more thing that needs to be considered with great care: The Name.

If the name of a business is conservative, like Walmart, then the owner may not need to advertise very much to bring in customers. However, there are a number of businesses who seem to feel that the name of their business should reflect the owner's philosophies. Sometimes this backfires.

There is a hair salon called 'Shear Faith'; apparently it is advised to pray before you get your hair 'fixed'. A barber shop with the name 'Chop it Up' brings to mind Sweeney Todd. I expect to see that particular shop on the news, but I'd be more concerned if this barber shop was located next to a restaurant. Rounding out our tour of hairy joints, we come to 'Hare We Are'. They spelled hair incorrectly, and they made a bad pun in the process.

On the other end of the spectrum, there is 'Health Camp'. That is the name of a burger joint in Waco, an establishment that has been serving burgers and fries since 1948. I would love to eat at Health Camp, just because of the name. I would actually overlook the location(Waco) to eat there. 'Holy Grounds' is a coffee shop that also sells Christian paraphernalia. Then, in Corpus Christi, there is 'Chubby's Mattress Store'. This name gives a bit of sexual innuendo AND provides a place to pursue that innuendo to a logical conclusion.

Finally, we have stores with just plain regular names, like Rudy's BBQ, The Wash Tub, etc. In an effort to boost sales, these places will often place pithy sayings on their marquee instead of the special. Rudy's certainly got my attention with it's "Beat the heat with a half pound of meat!" A meat market in town has the slogan "Nobody beats our meat!". The Wash Tub was advertising '10$ Handjobs' the other day. Those signs certainly got MY attention!

My very favorite sign of all time can be found on the I-37 road to Corpus Christi. It's a sign the government put up, and I imagine that they giggled while they worked. If brawny construction workers can legally giggle. Choke Canyon State Park is at exit 69. There's some sexual innuendo in there, easy to miss. It makes me wonder if the people laying out the road deliberately made it so that that particular exit would be 69.

What signs do you find in your area that are funny, odd, risque'? I wanna know!