I Have No Idea

At Zane's school, they take pictures of the kids engaged in art activities.  I'm missing out on huge chunks of my son's life while I'm a slave to a paycheck,  so I like this idea.   It would be nice if more classrooms did this, but considering the general lack of funding for education, I'm not holding my breath.

The teachers ask the kids about what they are working on and type that up as a quote to go with the picture.  That's where I get sidetracked, because often the quote does not match the picture at all. In the picture above, for instance, Zane is coloring an unidentifiable picture, and he says, "Mine is big."

What the heck is that boy talking about?  

What, exactly,  is big?  The picture?  Is this some sort of new four-year-old slang?  I don't get it.  I used to get it.   I hate that I don't get it.  Is this what I have to look forward to, this not having a clue what is going on?  I used to pride myself on being able to figure things out, but apparently that ship has sailed.  I am afraid that one day soon I will be sitting in a room, surrounded by teenagers, and be unable to understand a word any of them say. 

How Plain Does Plain English Need to Be?

Larry stayed home with Zane yesterday, both of them sick with a stomach bug. I went to work, since the evil bug did not hit me until later in the afternoon. I got a text from Larry.

"What should I feed Zane?" it says.

"Plain bread, crackers, plain pasta" I texted back.

"What kind of pasta?" comes the reply.

"Macaroni." I text.

"Being specific is helpful." he shoots back.

"I AM being specific. Plain macaroni noodles." I type. Who doesn't know this stuff? My husband, apparently.

"With cheese? Kraft? Adult? Kids?" comes the reply.

"PLAIN NOODLES." My eyes are rolling so far into the back of my head that my coworker was concerned that I might be having a seizure. And to be honest, I wasn't sure myself. But SURELY, this time, he got it, right? No.

Your specificity leaves much to be desired." was the response. And I had had enough.

"Ask your mother." I texted, proverbially passing the ball. I figured that since she raised him, she could explain it to him.

Marriage Secret

My beloved and I were arguing the other morning while on the way to work. We were arguing about something extremely vital and important to any marriage: football. Specifically, whether it had been a good idea to fire Wade Phillips now or if they should have waited until later. Larry got a bit emotional, as most men do when the topic is sports.

"I don't want to argue about this," I finally said.

"Good, because I would totally win, because I am right," my husband responded happily. We changed the subject, but I thought later that my wonderful husband, as smart as he is, missed the point.

Marriage is one of those big pictures made up of many tiny pictures. There is always more going on in an argument than the actual topic of discussion, and in a good relationship there is so much more than who wins an argument. Lots of stuff in the undercurrent of an argument, and it's easy to forget that in the heat of the moment. Those of us who want a marriage to succeed have to take a long-term view of any argument and ask ourselves what we're fighting for, the happiness of our spouse, or just to be right. There are a LOT of lonely people out in the world who couldn't/wouldn't let go of that need to be "right".

I don't have to be right all the time, and I want my husband to be happy. And to be honest, most of our arguments are matters of opinion, not fact, which to my mind means that we are both right. So it's not a hardship or a competition for me to let my husband be "right" when we have an argument. We always agree on the important things: we love each other, we love our son, and we love our family. The rest is small potatoes.

Drive-thru Communication

When someone tells you to pull up to the bush and they will have 'it' right out to you, well...you really can't blame a person for at least a brief misinterpretation.