A New Adventure

I did something completely out of character last week.   After over twenty years in one place, I quit my job. Are you freaking out on my behalf?  I'm certainly freaking out about it.  It's a big, huge step, this quitting of a job.  A job is a relationship, and here I am breaking up.   One can only put up with so many times of leaving the seat up, of dirty socks on the floor, and empty milk cartons left in the fridge.  It was time to clear out the mess.  

Women tend to nest in their jobs.  We bring in family pictures, lamps, favorite paintings, pillows, and other comfort items to home up the place.  We make friends with our co-workers, since we are going to be seeing them almost as often as our own families.  We create our area, our safe zone, and then we venture out to check out the rest of the company we will be keeping.  In my case, that would be principals, counselors, and teachers, among others.  I've met many exciting, smart, and interesting people over the years.  People who were excited about working with kids, people who treasured each step that each student made toward grasping a concept.  I've worked with many dedicated parents, parents who were very interested in helping their children and working with the school.  We all did a lot of great things.  Working with those people, and the students, made working a joy, not a job.  My nest was feathered nicely next to a sunny window. Life was good.

Over the past few years, however, the job stopped being fun.  It stopped being interesting.  No matter what I did, it was never enough.  If I did what I was supposed to do, more work was piled on.  If I didn't do what I was supposed to do because I had too much, I was chastised, told to work harder, or written up. My nest became black with anger and other negative emotions. It wasn't even really worth it to make friends with new coworkers, because they left as soon as they realized what a hostile environment they were in.  I'm sure that my situation isn't that much different from many other women out there, who felt stuck like me.  Since I was being treated so poorly, I started feeling less than.  It seemed as though I had left a part of my self-confidence on a park bench next to a sleeping hobo, and I had no idea where to find him.  I knew that if I didn't change something, I would become completely burnt out. 

The song goes, "If you're tired of the same old story, turn some pages."   I decided to change the book completely.  I applied to work in another district, and they were gracious enough to offer me a job last week.  I tendered my resignation the same day I accepted my new job. 

Am I scared?  Hell yes.  I will have a whole lot of new things to learn, new policies and procedures, new faces, new names.  But I will learn.  I am older, but I'm not an idiot.  I am not less than, I am more than enough.  As for my self-confidence, it's amazing what a new job can do for a person's self-image.  I feel as though I've been away from myself for too long.  It's good to be back.

Soapbox: Talk to Your Kids About Transition

The other night I was watching my son sleeping. His eyelids were fluttering a bit, and I thought that he was probably dreaming. He looked so peaceful, like all sleeping children do. There's nothing more relaxing than watching a healthy, sleeping child. Yep.

That's when the thought came to me: Zane will be driving in thirteen more years. Holy Crap! And then I wasn't so relaxed anymore. But it does illustrate that parents need to think about the future for their kids NOW.

What I am referring to is more than the standard, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" talk. There's so more to this than that. We all want our children to have dreams, and most of us want those dreams to have some fulfillment. But those dreams need to have a foundation of realism to them.

For example, let's go back to the "What do you want to be when you grow up?" question. I have lost count of the number of teenagers who tell me that they are going to play for the NBA/NFL/ETC. Parents need to steer their kids toward more realistic expectations for their career choices. Teach your kids to give themselves options. A Plan B, or Plan C, etc. And this is just the tip of the iceberg.

Does your child want to go to college? How do they intend to pay for it? Do they have the grades to earn the scholarships? There was never a time in my life that I did not intend to go to college. It was just assumed that I would. But my parents didn't talk to me about paying for school until they told me that they were going to pay for it. Up until that point, I just figured I was going to get by on my good looks. (I was kind of cute back then--and naive!)

Does your child understand the concept of budgeting? Do they understand that the paychecks that come into the house pay for 'invisible' things such as electricity, internet access, or garbage pickup? Do you talk about mortgage payments? Right now, we tell Zane that we have to work to pay for his "presents" at Christmas. When he's older, we will discuss how the money comes in and where the money goes, so he has a realistic concept of what he will need to live as an adult.

Does your child want to drive a car? How are they going to pay for a car, if you don't have one to give them? Who will pay for the insurance? Who will pay for the gas? Are you freaking out yet? Take a deep breath.

I work with special needs children. Some of these kids are going to need a lot of help to be successful. That need for help isn't going to cease once they hit 18. Is this child going to be able to make decisions for themselves once they hit 18 and are considered an adult? Is this child going to live in a group home? Is this child going to be able to get a job? Is this child going to be able to drive? If not, how is this child going to get from their house to their job? Is this child able to take care of their medical needs? What is going to happen to this child if their parents or siblings are not around anymore?

These are scary questions for some people to think about, but they NEED to be thought about, and talked about, throughout your child's life. In the world of Special Education, this is called Transition Planning, but this stuff should be for all kids. The great people over at Autism Speaks have created a tool kit about transition. It is excellent, and even if you don't have a child with autism, you should check it out.

I'll get off the soapbox for now. I hope I've got you thinking!