Unplugged

My work life often involves the use of a computer. If I am not checking emails or writing reports, I am using scoring apps or reading up on the latest research on specific learning disabilities. I also spend a great deal of time on my phone, texting, emailing, talking, and using various apps that are pertinent to work.  I get summers off, for the most part. I will take on some contract work, for a little extra cash, but other than that, I am off the clock. I stay up as late as I want, and sleep in. I stay in my pajamas all day, and curl up with my Kindle. I stop answering the phone, letting voice mail screen my calls.

And occasionally I skip blogging.

When I first began blogging, I had to blog every single day to get into the habit. Had to. No. Matter. What. No matter the time, no matter how exhausted I was, no matter what else I had going on, I was at my computer. It didn't even matter that nobody was reading! I called myself dedicated. My husband called me obsessive.

A funny thing happens when you try to force writing; your quality goes down.  You can't push the creative process, no matter what all those books and online sites say.  When you are focused on filing a page, there's not much time to savor the words you have written. It becomes stressful. I decided that I needed to get over that. Easier said than done. I still felt obligated to write every day. I still felt the "have to".  Then I felt guilty about not writing, and angry about the guilt. I began resenting my blog. As tired as I was, I would find myself arguing with the computer screen. When a person starts arguing with their computer screen at midnight, it is time to put the mouse down.

So now I focus more on quality, less on arbitrary indicators of quantity. I don't worry about internet access. If I get an idea, I will write it down in a notebook and let the ideas flood my synapses, without pressure.  I can always come back to it later. I won't sit in front of a computer screen, staring at the blinking cursor.  If nothing is happening, I won't beat myself up about it.  I step away, and go find some thing else to do. Like spend time with my family, even if we're only stretched out on the bed pretending to take naps so we can snap a "selfie" or two.  Zane says that we're a "happily family", and since he's my muse most days, I'm following his cue.

Sometimes the ideas flow best when you're out living instead of waiting to live.


3.) Do you “unplug” during the summer months? Why or why not?

The Challenge

I set out to blog way back in January of 2010 as a way to set my thoughts to the page.  At that point, I was only considering the possibility that one day, my son would decide that he wanted to read the pages and would appreciate having stories about his childhood to read to his own children.  Okay, I also thought that by writing down some of the stories, I would preserve some blackmail fodder for the teenage years, but I wasn't planning on actually using any of it.

Okay, maybe a few times.  

Along the way, I remember that I enjoy writing.  I'd forgotten that, amid all those responsibilities that adulthood brings, and it was a blissful reunion.  After a short period of time, I felt comfortable enough to start blogging about other topics besides my child.  I even worked up my courage and started *gasp* linking up with other bloggers!  I even started trying my hand at fiction. 

Even after all these years, I still have one main challenge in my blogging.  It's something that I work at every single day--even if I'm not posting.  It's been an issue in other aspects of my life, so why not my blogging?  I've worked on this for many years, and while I think I've gotten better, I'm still a work in progress.

My challenge is that I want to write about everything that is in my head.  I want to put it all on paper, without narrowing anything down or focusing on a single topic.  Every stream of consciousness, every image, every song, etc.?  I want to write it all down, all at once. 

You people would think I was nuts.  Heck, even I would think that I was nuts.  

The simple act of narrowing down my thoughts to a single focus is sometimes exhausting.  What takes some people thirty minutes may take me all day.  Even after I've typed something in the blank space, I'll have to proofread, and edit. I usually find some random thought has seeped into the paragraphs, and I have to weed it out.  Occasionally I am too tired and inattentive, and when I read what I've posted later, it's as if another person stole my password and wrote the post for me.  It's a foreign language.  But I'll keep trying.

What is your blogging challenge?



1.) The most challenging part about blogging for you is…

Life's Minor Interruptions

Blogging consistently gets hard sometimes, when you're a mom.  While I'd like to think that moms and dads divide the work of raising a family equally somehow, the fact is that most of the time, I'm the one the boy runs to for help.  It just ends up that way, through nobody's fault, at least for right now.  I'm also the one that the pets run to, as well.  I am pretty sure that this is only because I'm usually the one feeding them all, but there's always the possibility that they like me, too.  

While our cat Zena and our pup Maisy have bonded and do all of the wonderful racing around the house and the backyard, my cat Pounce has remained upstairs, under the bed.  She will come out when I am up there, and sometimes when Larry is up there, but she is afraid of Zane.   And Maisy. And she isn't really fond of Zena.  So I am, for the most part, her sole source of interaction, play, cuddles, scritches, and hugs.

So when I am in the computer room, after everyone has gone to sleep, Pounce creeps out from under the bed, and comes to find me.  I am typing away on my blog, and then there's a cat in front of the screen.  I pet her a moment, then put her on the chair next to me so I can finish typing. 

A second later, she is back, and this time she strolls across the key board, inadvertently deleting what I just typed.  I pet her while I say a few curse words under my breath, then I put her on the chair again.  Just as my fingers begin to retype, there's Pounce, and this time she is sitting on the mouse.  Since she is purring loudly, I know that she is wanting affection, but she is starting to drive me a little insane.  I want to finish my thoughts, hit publish, and go to bed.  Pounce has other plans.  I can't close the door to the room because it is late and she'll wake up the house with her meowing.   I feel sorry for her, that she is so locked into her crazy that she won't trust the rest of the house at all.  Maisy would love to play with her, and Zane is just waiting to pet her. 

If only she would come out from under the bed when everyone is awake.



This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

• Set a timer and write for 5 minutes.
• Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
• Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
• Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post (in the sidebar). .
• Link up your post here.
• Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

I Just Wasn't Feeling It

I've been doing pretty good about posting something every day.  Probably not all that exciting to anyone but me, but really, posting every day means something to me.  It's a sign of commitment, for me, anyway.  Since I am trying to write more creatively, I need to write something. 

And then Thursday night, when I was going to sit at my computer and write my piece for Write on Edge...I just didn't feel like it.  It wasn't that I didn't have any ideas, because I did.  I admit to feeling a little discouraged because every other blogger out there has 4,000 comments daily, but that wasn't it. 

I've just been feeling very tired.  As in exhausted.  Run down. Like I am right on the edge of catching some sort of summer virus.  Part of this has been because of my work hours.  Ten hour days are just "off" my routine enough to completely wreck it.  I don't sleep as well because of it. 

I told myself that I would just go to sleep and then get up early on Friday to write.  Except that I didn't.  I slept in, and then I didn't have any time to myself to do anything at all for the rest of the day, because that's how it seems to work in my house. 

I felt guilty, a little.  Like I was deserting someone, namely myself.  And then I thought about all the efforts I make to post daily, even if it means staying up later than I want because I have to write after my son is asleep.  Efforts that I make because I want to write, even if they are blog posts that nobody reads.  I decided that I was being hard on myself, when I didn't need to be. 

I'm not going to stop blogging, but I am not going to get all anxiety ridden if I miss a day or two.  Well, I'm going to try.  Anxiety is one of my personality traits, and those are difficult to let go. Sometimes, however, we need a break.  I need a break. I am my own worst enemy in this arena, but I'm going to try to work on it.   

The A-List: Reasons to Blog

One of my oldest internet friends, Jillsmo, went through a recent crisis. (Note: when I say 'oldest', I am referencing the time that I've known her, not her actual age.  She actually does not remember back before electricity like I do)  You remember Jillsmo, right?  If I say her name one more time, she'll appear, right, Jillsmo?



Anyway, she got bummed out on blogging, and she thought about quitting. Which would be stupid of her, and might have made me consider flying to California despite my fear that it would immediately slide off into the ocean.  Jillsmo is consistently funny, she got some pretty sharp insight into people, and she is someone who is willing to DO instead of only talking about doing.  I admire that in a person.  She actually got another of our friends, Cactuspants, to start a blog, something he wasn't too keen about, but it is funny.   

But I started thinking about why someone might blog.  A lot of non-bloggers think that blogging is like writing a diary.  It is not, fortunately.  Because most diaries, unless you are Xaviera Hollander, can be pretty darn boring.  Some people get into blogging because they want someone to listen to them.  Some people get into blogging to make money.  Most people get into blogging because they have something to say about something.   Travel enthusiasts, like my friend Red, blog about the places they go and the wonderful things they see on their journeys.   Car enthusiasts blog about cars, and engines, and gaskets, and something called 'headers'.  Pet lovers blog about cats, and dogs, and the occasional snake. 

Moms blog about...their children.  We can't help it--once those helpless little creatures are born, they become the center of our universe, and we do tend to go on about them.  Everything they do is absolutely fascinating to us.   Samuel Pepys, we are not.  I would venture to call it a form of narcissism, since our children are genetically part of ourselves, but I would probably get yelled at by some of the bigger and badder mommy blogs.

I began blogging as a way to write about my kid, but I also wanted to be able to write about other topics as well, hence the name of my blog.  If I think about it, I have other reasons as well, and here they are.  Ta-da!

1.  Chattiness   I've noticed that when I have spent a significant amount of time with Zane, I become excessively chatty when I encounter adults. Any adult.  Woe to the poor Jehovah's Witnesses who show up to talk; they never get a word in edgewise.   I find myself blathering on and on, and I know that I'm blathering, but at least I am speaking in complete sentences.  Parents don't often get to say complete sentences!  Blogging allows me to get some of that verbosity out of my system, so I don't bore anyone completely to death.
 
2.  Creativity  My job is not very creative.  Writing reports about standard scores and interventions is boring and stale; the standard rule is to keep it simple.  But I like to create.  I like to putter with crocheting, cooking, jewelry making, painting, etc.  I do these things for  fun, to relax, to play.   Blogging is a way for me to play, to express my creative side.  Hence my use of various writing prompts; they are a way to spark my imagination a bit and stretch my brain.  I don't always make it pretty, but I do like to try.

3.  Writing skills  Writing is an extremely important communication skill, but it is a skill that can always use improvement.  One of the best ways to improve writing is to...wait for it...write.  Practice.  I know that there are tons of people who think that they can't write, but it is often just that they don't ever pick up a pen or sit at the computer and type anything other than emails. What you write down doesn't have to be War and Peace, and nobody else ever has to see it. Yes, at the beginning writing is difficult, but the more you write, the better you write. 

4.  Peeps  For awhile after my son was born, my world seemed to shrink.  I had coworkers to talk to, and my husband.  I needed to find other people to bond with, people with whom I could share stories, swap recipes, gripes, and tall tales.  Through blogging I have found some wonderful, positive people who make me laugh and cry and yell at my monitor.  I've seen pictures of beautiful children, heard stories of brave kitties, and found some yummy recipes.  I may not get to read every single blog every single day, but I do love my 'peeps'.  ('Peeps' is short for 'people'.  I don't know why someone felt the need to shorten that particular word.  It's kind of silly, isn't it?)

5.  Community  At the end of the day, it is about the sisterhood.  The general community of blog writers is generous with their reading time, generous with their comments, and wonderfully supportive.  The A to Z community, the Write on Edge community, and Mamakat's group have all been very positive and constructive in their comments.  Just to know that they are reading gives me a happy feeling.  They have supported my writing, my creativity(or the lack thereof), and that has made a huge difference to me, especially when I get discouraged about low comments. 

If you have any reasons to add, write them in the comments!