It's been a hazy summer for me, what with finishing chemo and just wanting to sleep all the time. I've tried to participate in activities as much as I am able, I just don't seem to have the get up and go running just yet. I've missed the summer, including my 50th birthday.
I've slept, and if I'm honest, I've also whined a bit, because I really
hate being sickly and unable to do all the things I'm used to doing.
I've felt guilty about not being always available to my son, guilty that
I'm unable to keep up with the housekeeping, guilty that I'm not the
one doing the shopping, or keeping the family appointments. That's what Daddy is for, to pick up the slack when I can't. Larry's done the shopping and the cleaning and the child rearing when he isn't busy chauffeuring me to doctor's appointments and hospital visits. I don't have any idea what I would do without him.
And Larry and Zane have bonded over Nerf.
They didn't have Nerf when I was a kid. We just used balls, rocks, sticks, and other projectiles. I remember seeing Nerf footballs being thrown about at some point in my teens, but that was it. Now Nerf has extended their empire. These days, Nerf has these soft darts that
shoot out of cross bows, guns, blasters, and whatever. Nerf even makes these items in purple and pink for the girls who are into The Hunger Games and such.
Larry and Zane have spent hours watching YouTube videos devoted to "unboxing" new Nerf guns and showing them off. Apparently Australia has a huge Nerf following, because those guys post tons of videos. The men in the house have driven all over San Antonio searching every Target and Walmart for new Nerf items and exclusives. The two of them will sit on the living room floor almost every night and look at their different Nerf weapons, discussing tactics and replacing batteries.
The one rule? Safety glasses are required.
They've played a version of Capture the Flag in the house. Larry even spent a couple of days fixing up the back yard with tarps and other items to create an area where Zane and his friend Austin teamed up against him in an all out Nerf war. This involved about two hours of loading up all the Nerf Guns and the Nerf clips and setting up the Nerf Rhino Blaster(the Nerf equivalent of a mounted machine gun) on a table in the middle of the yard so whoever could get to it would be able to use it.
Of course, the Nerf fights end when all the bullets, darts, etc., have been fired. Which is about five minutes after the battle begins. Then there's the "Who is going to pick up all 30,000 of these darts?" argument between the boy and his father, which can last another thirty minutes.
The boy loves it. The daddy loves it.
I'm okay with it. I wish that I could participate a bit more, but my knowledge in this area is so limited that the one time I did pick up a Nerf gun, I accidentally shot Zane in the butt with a dart. Hopefully he won't need therapy for that some day.
I miss the days when Zane would climb up in my lap and watch a movie with me, or when he wanted me to read to him. I'm a little(okay, a lot) angry that cancer has robbed me of almost a year of my son's growing years. I begrudge the loss of that year, but the upside is that I'll be around to see him grow up into the man he will become.
That makes me smile, even as I give in to my fatigue and nod off again.
3. Ask your child what their favorite part of Summer has been and then write about it.
I'm trying to get back into the swing of blogging, and what better place to start than here?