Thursday, August 8, 2013

Brave

I am not brave.

I'm not. I shy away from new things.  I cringe at loud sounds, and loud people. 

I prefer avoiding people. I stay home rather than face the crowds, even when it is not Christmas. I often break out in red splotches when I have to speak to a stranger. I lose my train of thought midsentence. I feel awkward in most social situations. So I keep to myself, so as not to risk being rejected.

I take the stairs because I am afraid of getting stuck in an elevator. Unless I forgot my inhaler, because an asthma attack is much worse than being stuck in an elevator.  If anything hurts that doesn't normally hurt, I automatically assume that it is a heart attack.  Except if it's my big toe.  Then I automatically assume that I have the gout.  I had to stop looking stuff up on Web's, because all those obscure diseases frightened me.

I don't stay out late if the parking lot isn't well-lit.  I walk with my keys held in my fist, pointed outward, even if I'm just heading into Walgreen's.  If I hear a strange noise in the middle of the night, I am almost always certain that it's zombies.

If there is anything, anything at all for me to get nervous about, I'm already there, my head tucked tightly under the covers, waiting for the Monster Du Jour to lose interest in me.

My child makes me brave. 

He smiles at me, and looks at me as if I were a superhero. His superhero. Because of that trust, I am brave. I find myself holding his hand and stepping out into the world, smiling at strangers and wading into crowds. I scoff at my aches and pains. I let the spider crawl on me. I start conversations with strangers!

I embrace all the things that I fear, while holding that little hand. I can handle whatever comes our way.

I am brave.

Mama’s Losin’ It


3.) Write a post inspired by the word: brave.

13 comments:

  1. Our kids make us brave. When I was first married, I didn't like to call people I did not know. Mr BC ended up making all my appointments
    with the military, for me. He was in the Navy at the time.

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    1. I hate to talk on the phone--I always try to get my husband do the phone calls, but he won't let me!

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  2. I can relate to this post in SO many ways. Beautifully written, thank you for sharing!

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  3. I feel exactly the same way! When my boys want or need something, even if it's far, far out of my comfort zone, I make darn sure they get it, even if it's uncomfortable for me. Great post!

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  4. Awww! I love this!

    Stopping by from Mama Kat's :-)

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  5. It's amazing the things that one will do for their children. And I feel basically the same way, although maybe not about the spiders. Pretty sure I would still freak out if a spider was on me.

    Stopping by from Mama Kat's.

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  6. Excellent! There's a mama bear inside all of us, even those of us who shy away from new things and avoid making conversation with strangers and hide under the covers when we're scared.

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  7. "I am almost always certain that it's zombies."

    I swear we are related. :) My kids are the reason I have stepped out of my box, expanded it's size, contorted it's walls, and left the top open on purpose.

    they are the best thing that's ever happened to my fears.

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  8. I never considered you to be anything but!!!!!

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  9. Kids definitely bring out the bravery in us! It's different when we feel those little eyes looking up at us with the expectation that we know what we're doing and can lead the way. I guess it was always in us, we just needed that nudge.

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