Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Benediction



Adelaide stared out at the snow falling so thickly that the world seemed to be made of infinite whiteness.  The battleground where Torvald died would be transformed from a place of horrific desolation into a beautiful colorless landscape.  Come the spring, the blood soaked earth would yield a multitude of wild flowers, and it would be as if the battle had never been. 

She sighed, apprehensive.  Would he come to her tonight, after she had revealed her secret?  Adelaide had never seen Torvald so angry, not even when the battle lust was upon him.  The very air seemed to shimmer with the force of his fury, all directed at her. 

"What were you thinking, Adelaide?" he'd yelled at her, his revulsion evident. "Why did you doctor that potion?  Do you know what you've done?" 

A deep chasm of despair had opened underneath her feet at the realization that Torvald might have welcomed his heroic death as his rightful reward. The consequence of what she had done slammed into her. Adelaide had stolen his honor in her selfish need to keep him with her.   Tears poured forth, her anguish at her thoughtlessness gouging a hole in her heart. Torvald might be bound to her as a result of her spell casting, but he might never come to her again, and that would be the only just punishment. 

Adelaide could stand it no more; she was exhausted.  She would blow out the candle and try to drown her guilt in the dreaming.   She got into bed and pulled the covers up over her.  She stared at the darkness of the ceiling a moment longer, and then closed her eyes. 

"Adelaide."  Her name whispered through the room, a choked out benediction.  Torvald.  She sat up, listening to the shuffling sounds as he moved closer in the dark.  She felt the mattress move as Torvald's weight settled next to her. He took her very warm hand into his cold one, and she burst into tears.








The prompt is the third definition of the word "doctor"; material added(as to food) to produce a desired effect.




The prompt:  A fat, wet snow fell here this weekend, and while I knew we’re already turning our faces towards spring, I want you to draw your inspiration from a snow fall and a secret revealed.

26 comments:

  1. Awww, he forgave her (: Such a sweet little continuation.

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  2. Another powerful part to a wonderful story.

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  3. This is a good take on the prompts. My first try on the Trifecta, like yours picked up on the verb to doctor and the actual prompt was a noun.

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    1. Aw poop! That's what sleep deprivation will do to a person.

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  4. While my heart wants to be happy that he came back to her - there is a bit of foreboding in the hot hand/cold hand reference. How does death and life live together? It will be curious to see this story develop.

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    1. I am a little curious, too! I have an idea, but we shall see.

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  5. Nice continuation of the story. Nicely written. I can feel her regret and anticipation, her hope that he will come. No worries on the prompt word - the editors clarified that you can use it as either a noun or a verb.

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  6. Nice job with all the prompts. You set a nice mood. A ghost story with a happy ending?

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  7. Oh,sweet agony!He came to her-what next-how will they have a life-he is "dead",no?Am looking forward to the next part of this intriguing tale TMW:-)

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    1. Yes, he is deceased. Thank you for reading!

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  8. I can't wait for the next part of this! I mean, will it be possible for them to have a "normal" relationship? I love the hot/cold hand thing -- so full of foreshadowing.

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  9. great continuation to the story. love how this particular excerpt ended :)

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  10. I'm glad he forgave her. That was a sweet ending!

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  11. She would "try to drown her guilt in the dreaming..." is so poetic and descriptive. This is a wonderful piece of writing.

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  12. The very air seemed to shimmer with the force of his fury - terrific!

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  13. I fear that the respite of his fury may not be the end of their problems. It will be interesting to see how their relationship holds up to death avoided.
    ~Angela

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  14. Great writing, keep it up! I want to read more.

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  15. This is a marvelous moment. It seems like a conflict that's been going on between men & women since the beginning of time. They want to go out in a blaze of glory and we want them to stick around--honor be damned.

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  16. That kind of interference in the natural order never goes well, does it? It's sweet that he forgives her but I agree, the cold hand thing does not bode well for them...

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  17. Ooh, could it be forgiveness? I think a stronger, more story-subplot-driven explanation should be because he's tied to her. He doesn't have a choice. Wouldn't that make it all the torturous? For her to know that he's with her, hating her, despising what she did to him, and yet he can't walk away? That way, the cold hand really carries the full weight of his wrath. It would be nice if you added something to the effect that she feels sharp pains every time he touches her, like you get when your hand has been immersed in ice or snow for too long.

    I love being at the crossroads of a tale like this, where there are so many possibilities where you could take this. Well done!

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