Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Just Pretend You're Asleep



This week's word is:  SINISTER  singularly evil or productive of evil  This will put you in a Halloween sort of mood, I hope!

A noise woke her, and Karen turned on her side fretfully, hoping to return to sleep. She had a big presentation tomorrow, and she needed to be well rested.  Something about the noise jarred her, her body sensing danger.  She opened her eyes to a sinister darkness. What time was it?  She could see nothing in the blackness of the hotel room, and yet her heart was pounding, and she was afraid.  Why?  She hesitated to draw in a breath; the very air seemed malevolent, suffocating.  Cloying as the grave, it seemed to pour itself down her throat like sand, and her lungs coughed with the thickness of it, like drowning. In the midst of her coughing fit, she heard the noise again. A sighing sound. A whisper of movement underneath the sheets.  A subtle fluctuation of the mattress. 

Karen froze. 

There was someone in the bed with her.  Something, Karen's instincts told her, her fear ratcheted up several notches.  The air around her moved, a dark ocean current, as if a hand were reaching out to fondly caress her.  Karen's hackles rose at the thought; she imagined a decayed skeletal hand pulling at her tresses as the empty-eyed skull grimaced, ignoring her screams.  Questions careened through her mind. Does it know that I'm awake? Would I have enough time to turn on the light before whatever it is got to me?  Am I crazy? 
 
What if I pretend that I am still asleep?  Karen vaguely remembered the cardinal rule of childhood monsters: pretend that you're asleep, the monsters can't get you.  The minute that you noticed the monsters, the second that you screamed, you were theirs to play with.  Could she do that--pretend to be asleep, when every cell in her body was screaming for her to run?  She closed her eyes and said a small prayer, as whatever was in the bed with Karen sighed, and the air around her swirled with purpose.
 


12 comments:

  1. Eeeek! I was once supposed to stay in a hotel room by myself and checked out after about an hour...am pretty sure this will insure that I never manage!

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    1. This actually happened to me! I woke up, and you could not have convinced me that there was not someone right behind me. It took an hour before I had the courage to turn over!

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  2. You're such a tease. Have I said that before?!?! Evocative atmosphere full of menace and foreboding ...

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    1. Just imagine if I didn't have a word limit!

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  3. Oh boy! You with no word limit would be pure surprise and awesomeness! Wed be along for the ride.

    Great, just great! I AM alone in a hotel room and will be remembering this story in a few hours! Help me now...

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  4. Great post. Sometimes when I hear a noise and I lay there asleep, I wonder if im fooling anybody. great minds...

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  5. my youngest girls, 8 and 9, insist on the hall light being on and the cloest door being closed.

    great job with the short choppy sentences racheting up the terror.

    good piece

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  6. Love the character's inner monologue, especially when she's trying to talk herself out of her terror ... and how whatever it was sighed, and the air swirled with purpose ... Nice finish.

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  7. WOW...you ROCK the scary out of me!!! Great job!! I have never had that experience..so I cannot imagine the fear you built up here so cleverly. Mine is here
    Have you a BLESSED WEEK!!!
    hugs
    shakira

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  8. I would freak the f*** out if I felt something in my bed with me. >__<
    I always thought if you covered your ears with the blanket, the monsters couldn't get into your head. :D

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  9. This is a terrifying scene! So, did you find anyone there when you finally rolled over?

    I don't know if I could pretend to sleep. I could imagine me screaming at the top of my lungs, waking everyone in the hotel, only to find nothing there :)

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    1. No one was there, thank goodness! I probably would have expired on the spot if there had been. But it seemed so real!

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