Friday, April 27, 2012

X Marks The Spot

X marks the spot, I kept repeating to myself.  The harsh sounds of my own breathing accompanied my thoughts in the blackness of my cell. 

I screamed myself hoarse in those first days.  I lay naked on a cot, chains around my wrists and ankles, and the darkness seemed to swallow my screams.  My hands clawed, my wrists bled, and I was suffocating.  I was inside a coffin and the dirt of the grave had already been filled in over me.  I lost count of how many times I passed out, my mind overwhelmed. 
  
X marks the spot.

Calvin's appearance certainly didn't help my mental state, but at least he brought a lantern with him.  He didn't speak, and I gibbered rabidly on broken vocal cords while he fed, watered and cleaned me.  Then he would immediately leave, and I would start screaming into the darkness again.  Except when Calvin didn't leave. 

X marks the spot.

The first time I stared as he removed his clothes and climbed onto the cot, climbed onto me.  That impossibly huge mole on Calvin's nose became a second head in the shadows thrown by the light.  My wrists and legs were chained, but I screamed and bucked and fought him every inch.  Calvin enjoyed my anger immensely, and I heard him chuckle as he closed me into the dark once more.    

X marks the spot.

I don't know how long this cycle of darkness and rape went on.  Fear became my sister in the darkness. I even prayed to her, made her a deity in hopes that she would end my suffering.  There was no light to judge the passing of time, and my mind faded in and out. I became aware of where I was, who I was, and who was responsible.  Fear was clouding my brain, fogging my attempts to examine my predicament, but there was a voice as well.  A voice, from within me, repeating the same sentence over and over again, gradually strengthening.

X marks the spot.
 
That mantra pulled me out of my insanity, drove the fear back.  It stilled my screams, steadied my breathing, let me think.  Most importantly, it made me stop fighting Calvin. 

At the core of my being, I wanted to live.  If I continued to fight Calvin, he would kill me.  As long as I was alive, I had a chance of getting away.  But I had to focus.  I had to keep the fear away. 

X marks the spot.  X marks the spot on Calvin's face where I will hit him.  When I kill him.


Prompt:  For this week, I’m giving you the word “Core.” You have 450 words to explore any meaning of the word in a work of creative non-fiction/memoir or fiction. This is a continuation of Calvin's hunt for a bride.

18 comments:

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    1. Thank you. It was difficult to write.

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  2. Whoa. That is deeply disturbing, and full of raw emotional power. Your imagery is so vivid.

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    1. Thank you for commenting! I really appreciate your feedback.

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  3. That is good. And you're a good writer. You know that, right?

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    1. You're not just saying that because I offered you a margarita, right? ;)

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  4. Wow! The line about his mole was my favorite. I also enjoyed how you described the darkness as a sister she prayed to. No margarita's involved... you're a good writer.

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    1. Thank you. Coming from you, that is high praise!

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  5. What a powerful piece! I could see this expanding into an even grittier and edgier piece without the word limit.

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  6. Incredibly hard to read, because it reads "real." Does that make sense?

    I think the repetition really works as a narrative device. And I so want her to hit that spot.

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  7. wow. this was an awesome read. I love the repetitiveness, understanding the chaos in her head, and then the determination at the end. Awesome.

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  8. This could be a play...or a film. It is cinematic. Uncomfortable, dark, scary. Great writing.

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  9. the comment above really hit what i got from this piece--like a play---love it--xcellent!

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  10. Interesting reading and I agree with the comment from Kimberly about it being cinematic..visiting via the A to Z Challenge..blessings

    http://shananagins2468.blogspot.com

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  11. "Fear became my sister in the darkness."

    I wish I'd written that.

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  12. Oooh, that sneaky Calvin--showing up in the A-Z! This is not my favorite part of her story (imagine that), but this is some mighty fine writing!!!!

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  13. I think I'll sleep with a nightlight on tonight. Chilling.

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