Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Remembered: Cleaning House

Prompt: Think of a time that you “cleaned house.” Consider the subtext—we’re not writing about Windex here. We’re writing about relationships. Or feelings. Or a captured moment in time.

It's at this time of the year that I mourn a bit. Sorry if I upset anyone.



I finally made myself clean off the shelf in the closet one day a few years ago. I pulled everything that I hadn't wanted to see onto the floor. I opened the special box that I had purchased just for the occasion. I placed the tissue box next to me. Then I went through the pile, and I cried as I laid each item gently into the box.

The sonogram pictures.

The sonogram videotape, each tiny heartbeat visible, so fierce.

A small hand painted box containing a tiny hat and a small gold ring; a birth gift for a child who never saw it. I think that she would have liked that ring.

A silk rose, white. It was placed on my hospital room door to let the nurses know.

The birth/death certificate, signed by the doctor on December 9, 2003.

I placed all these painful memories in that special box, running my hands over them, reading them, touching them. As if I could turn back time for that moment and have it turn out differently.

Then I closed the box, but not my heart.

14 comments:

  1. Absolutely beautiful...and heartbreaking.

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  2. This is heartbreaking. But so very dear. Each artifact, a reminder of her, and her life. You honor her with your words.

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  3. This is beautifully written. I can feel your hesitant determination through the words and structure. Thank you for sharing your heart with us, friend.

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  4. Wow! No words to convey, must have been very hard for you to write, but what a powerful piece.

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  5. Oh my heart, I am so very sorry. xo

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  6. Oh my goodness!

    So much said in so few words.

    Very touching!

    This post needs a kleenex warning!

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  7. I can't imagine how hard that must have been. Thank you for sharing such a painful, real memory.

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  8. Very powerful piece. I really like how you end it too. Beautiful and heartbreaking.

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  9. The silk rose on the door... This is beautiful remembrance.

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  10. Wow, such a strong post. My heart wishes I could send hugs via internet.

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  11. I had no idea. And I am sorry. So sorry. From one mom who has lost a child to another, that is all I can say. I am so sorry.

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  12. No reason for you to apologize to us. Thank you for your honesty and beautiful writing, and for letting us into your world...regardless of which part it is. So sorry...

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I welcome comments, but reserve the right to correct your spelling because I am OCD about it!