Saturday, July 30, 2011

Contemplating Underpants

I was conducting my never-ending battle with the laundry yesterday, and as I was pulling items out of the dryer I noticed that my son has Green Lantern underpants.

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I did not buy any Green Lantern items for my son--my husband and his mother did that. The Green Lantern movie came out this summer(for those who pay attention). Our house has been inundated with GL sheets, GL toys, GL towels, GL jammies, GL t-shirts...you get the picture. All of these items have the Ryan Reynolds version of Green Lantern because they are all based on the movie. There are enough pictures of Ryan Reynolds on enough items to qualify us as the home of a stalker. My husband and son are just average fanboys, so it's all good. Looking at those underpants, however, I suddenly realized that my son has been running around with Ryan Reynolds' picture on his little backside.

Do you know how many women would be fighting to have Ryan Reynolds on their backside? Even with my math skills being horrible, that is an extremely high number! So why don't they sell this sort of garment to women? Think how many women would pay a heck of a lot of money to have a picture of their favorite celebrity hunk on their underpants. They may not ever meet George Clooney, but they could 'wear' him out for a night on the town.

Someone might mention the whole "my man won't find those underpants sexy in the least" aspect to this discussion. Fair enough. We all want to wear the sexy underpants that are most likely to flip the passion switch. Remember that scene in Bridget Jones' Diary, where Bridget excuses herself so she can change into her sexy underpants while an unexpected date waits in the other room? Who over thirty hasn't done that at least once?

But what do we usually wear on days that aren't date night? Plain old cotton--whether it's a bikini, a thong, boy short, or briefs. There is not a darn thing wrong with cotton--it's comfortable, and most days cotton underwear doesn't get bunched up, which is a definite bonus.

Women are major purchasers of underpants in this country. We do most of the shopping for our families, and that includes unmentionables. If we asked for pictures on our underpants, companies would have to listen. I've seen underpants for women that have writing on them. It wouldn't be that much of a stretch to have a picture instead. And what is wrong with having a picture of Ryan Reynolds* on the backside of those underpants?

Not a darn thing.


*Disclaimer: I have no wish to wear underpants with Ryan Reynolds on them. He is merely an example. I promise! And no, you can't have the pair pictured!

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