THUMP!!!
The shoe hit the wall right next to Joshua's head as he entered the room, but he ducked anyway, because shoes usually came in pairs. Especially when it came to Candy Lou and her "fast balls". Sure enough, the second petal pink platform came hurtling toward him.
"You bastard!" his beloved wife screamed, searching for something else to throw at him. Joshua put his hands up, a gesture of surrender learned from years of experience.
"Now, Candy Lou," he began. "Hold on a se--"
A lamp came soaring toward him, and he fled behind the couch.
"I heard the whole thing, you evil, horrible man!" wailed Candy Lou. "How could you say such a horrible thing about your wife?"
Joshua was genuinely confused. All he had been doing was talking to their new neighbor in the front yard.
"You told that man that I had a nice chassis!" she blubbered.. "I heard you! You said 'She has a nice chassis, but it's a little low to the ground.' Don't you deny it! My chassis is NOT fat, Joshua!"
Candy Lou threw herself onto their bed, burying her head underneath a pillow as she was wracked with sobs. Joshua stared at her a moment, watching the pillow bob rhythmically with her sobbing. His laughter began almost silently, bursting up from somewhere within, releasing him from a self-imposed prison. Soon he was whooping with loud, raucous laughter, and Candy couldn't help but hear him. She paused in her performance to look at him in shock.
"Candy Lou!" he breathlessly told her, when he could speak. "Oh my sweet Lord! A chassis is part of a car! A car. We were talking about CARS, not you!" He dissolved again in laughter, while Candy Lou stared, bemused.
