Porn Alert

We were in Walmart looking for the drinks we usually offer to bring for the annual Thanksgiving hullabaloo. Just the usual beer, wine, soda, and tea.  That means that Zane and I take our time and look around, since Dad isn't prodding us to hurry up before we spend more money.  

"Mom!! Come quick! There's PORN!!!"

Really, what do YOU hear about while shopping with your kid? 

My first thought regarded the idea of porn in a Walmart as completely ridiculous, before I remembered the vibrators I had just seen in the pharmacy section.  

That thought made me approach Zane cautiously, so as to respond appropriately.  It doesn't do to completely freak out in front of a teenager; that is the entertainment that keeps on giving for years.  

And indeed, there was porn.  The word was right there on the cover of the magazine, there for all kids who can read to see.  It was actually right at the four- to six-year old eye level.  I'd just walked right past it, because the sexualization of guns in America gives me hives.  

But Zane did.  And he wanted to know about the porn.  Which wasn't really porn, just a word on the cover of a magazine designed to make the reader buy the magazine and take it home to peruse in the privacy of their own home.  The word 'porn' is like the bell Pavlov used to get his dogs to salivate, particularly people who don't understand that they are being played.  So my son and I had a lively discussion about propaganda and advertising and classical conditioning, and how they all play a role in capitalism.  

I'll probably get a phone call from the school on Monday.  I am actually looking forward to explaining the entire situation.

Also, dear Walmart, where I tend to shop often because you are less than a mile from my house, Please put all the gun magazines ABOVE waist level, so the babies are not exposed to such violent content.  Thank you.

I'm Not Feeling Witty

I was going to write a happy post today, one that was funny and witty and completely not my usual style.  Then I found out that an 18 year old girl, a senior in high school, was murdered by her ex-boyfriend this morning.  He then shot himself. 

My mood took an extreme downhill.  All day long, the story has been at the back of my mind.  These were young people, on the verge of...who will ever know, now?  Those lights have been snuffed out forever.  All because that boy decided that he couldn't live without her and therefore she shouldn't live without him. 

Breaking up with someone is difficult.  It is supposed to be difficult.  Relationships should be begun with the idea that they will last awhile. When they don't, a tsunami of emotions spill out.  Anger. Grief. Pain. Relief. Things can get messy as they come to light.  I can remember being dumped.  I can remember being rejected.  I can remember feeling like my chest was a singularity, sucking all the brightness out of the world around me as it broke.

I may have been angry. I may have felt abandoned. I may have felt abused.  I would wish the worst forms of plague upon my exes, or wish that they would leave town and never come back. Yes, my heart got broken, but I always decided that anyone who left me wasn't supposed to be there after all.  End of chapter, onto the next. 

What I never, ever thought about?  Killing. 

Sometimes the things that happen in life are too terrible to really confront head-on.  If you are brave enough to look such events in the eye, there's a good chance that you might see a piece of yourself in the mix.  Not everyone can handle that.  It is easier to pretend that it never happens. 

I've thought about these two people, the lives of their families destroyed.  An entire senior class has been traumatized seven weeks before graduation.  It would be easy to say that this was all the fault of the media, dismiss this horror as kids being kids. Unfortunately, this is a very adult sort of crime.  Dating violence is real, just like domestic violence and child abuse.  We can't keep saying that it is a cultural thing, or a married thing, etc.  This happens every where, every day, and that is too much.  This kind of intimate violence is a cancer, eating away at families.  It should not still be happening.

I'll think of something witty to say tomorrow.

Now I See What The Teen Years Will Be Like

Zane and I were driving home from the daycare center last night, and we were stopped in traffic. All of a sudden, a teen driver pulled out in front of our car, not bothering to look. She was on her cell phone and OMG! whatever her BFF was saying to her was soooooo much more important than safe driving.

I rolled my eyes, said a brief thanks that at least one of us was paying attention, and smiled at my son in the rear view mirror.

"Zane, when you start driving, you had better use your brain!" I told him.

I was somewhat sarcastic, I admit. I didn't expect an answer, but Zane didn't seem to miss a beat as he responded.

"No."