The Fine Art of Ghost Hunting

October is the spooky month, when the first report cards are sent home to terrify parents.  The temperatures are dropping into comfortable-almost-chilly.  And ghost hunting becomes the local past time, at least until it becomes too cold.  Too cold for the people, I mean.  Not the ghosts.  I imagine that ghosts are beyond being irritated by mere temperatures.  

"I feel sorry for famous ghosts," my son says.  When he mentioned that, I had to agree. I watch a lot of ghost hunting shows. Ghost hunters are all over the place, demanding that Lizzie Borden "speak" or Wyatt Earp "turn on this flashlight" if he wants everyone to leave.  Of course, no one ever actually leaves when a ghost says to leave.  Why bother to ask?  

I understand that people want to know about ghosts. I understand that somebody needs to capture the next big video of a ghost on camera.  I believe that there are things that happen that I can't explain, but I'm not going to say that there is no explanation. But with ghost hunting, as in all things, there's a right way, and a very wrong way.  

1. Be respectful.  A very wise man once said that if you come before the king, you best come correct.  That is true with ghosts.  Most of these spirits are way older than the people "hunting" them.  In their day, young whippersnappers were supposed to respect their elders.  No sassing.  Some of these ghosts that people are looking for were noblemen, and they don't care whether you believe in the monarchy.  They expect to be treated as they were when they were alive, and they aren't going to spend the energy to appear to a bunch of disrespectful youngsters running amok in their house.  

2.  Speak their language.  Hey, did you know that Germans who lived in Munich in the 1800s did not speak English?  Yes.  They spoke German.  Yet here I am, watching these ghost hunting shows, and these guys are speaking English where English is not the language of the household.  Even Ghost Adventures, where Zak has mentioned that he understands Spanish, does not have anyone asking questions in Spanish, only English.  How can you coax a Spanish ghost out of hiding and onto camera?  Speak Spanish to them!  Otherwise they will just say, "Oh it's that crazy gringa again!" and go back to whatever ghosts do to pass the time.  Also, because it's Dia de las Muertas soon, wouldn't it make sense to build an ofrenda with all the treats so the unattached ghosts have somewhere to feel loved?  Or is that just me?  

3. DO.NOT. POKE. THE. GHOSTS.  Seriously. If you want to see a ghost, great, there's no reason to be a jerk about it. You don't have to be submissive, but aggressive is never a good idea when hunting things that you can't see.  Emphasis on not being able to see what you are taunting.  The attempt is made to provoke a reaction, I get it.  However, since there's no way of actually knowing WHAT is in the room with you, why would anyone do that? You THINK it's a ghost, but it could be an interdimensional being who has had enough of your nonsense.  Also, haven't you seen ANY horror films?  The one who taunts, the one who rolls their eyes, is usually dead pretty quickly.  Don't be that person. 

4. Ghosts were people, not circus animals.  Don't show up at their house expecting to see an episode of Ghost Ninjas.  "Hey, if you're a ghost, go over and smack Shane upside the head, then go into the kitchen and make me some cookies."  See number 1 above.  Unless the ghost is of Julia Child, she's not about your cookie obsession.  What would ghost cookies taste like, anyway?  I guess they would be no calorie, but likely tasteless, but you would have to sit there and eat EVERY SINGLE ONE of those cookies, because Julia Child doesn't suffer fools.  If she makes you some cookies, you WILL eat them and love them.  

The main point of ghost hunting is to hang out with your weird friends and see what is out there in the dark.  More power to all of you, I would be terrible at it.  Newbies, perhaps read this post before you head to the Island of the Dolls in Mexico, and behave accordingly.  Good hunting.

What's The Fuss?

I attended what turned out to be a very progressive high school, although I didn't realize it at the time.  The student body was not only heavily minority, it also had students from 74 different countries in attendance.  There was more emphasis on the arts, particularly band and theater, than on sports.  My high school had an actual theater with an orchestra pit that could be lowered or raised.  Parts of the theater could be closed off so that students could view movies that were part of the English curriculum.  Math and Science awards happened so often that they were no longer big news.  And students showed up for school with blue hair, mohawks, and the occasional safety pin stuck into their skin, because this was back when punk rock was cool and the new wave was just getting started.

Oh, and several of the students were gay. 

I don't know how I knew that, because it was never a topic of conversation.  Teenagers at that time never sat around talking about their heterosexuality, either.   We discussed sex, but mostly what we saw in movies, not from actual experience.  I certainly wasn't in that much of a hurry and neither were the kids that I hung out with.  So sexual orientation never came up in conversation. 

But we knew.  We knew and we didn't care, at least not the people I tended to spend time around.  We still hung out, we still cut up in class, we still did all the things that teenagers do when left unsupervised in large groups, which was often, in those days.  I have thought about this often, and not once can I remember anyone being bullied for their sexual orientation.  People were being bullied for being dumb, fat, short, annoying, smelly, and any combination of the above.  Sexual orientation never came up.  The wedgie comes to all, they say, and wedgies don't discriminate.

So what changed?  When did it become so horrible to know that someone is gay?  I know that when the AIDS epidemic hit, the fear of disease seemed to get the ball rolling, but this seems to come from another place. When did it become okay to hate people based on something that is really not anybody's business?   When did that ignorant church in Kansas become the face of all this hatred? 

Guess what?  Everyone is still a person. 

Whether you are gay or hetero, you are still YOU. 

You're still the same person who tells me the most ridiculous knock-knock jokes I've ever heard. 

You're still the same person who never remembers to put in both earrings before showing up to work.

I will still be proud to call you a friend.  It is not my place to judge you for things that you can't change about yourself. We judge ourselves enough! Maybe other people need to learn that lesson as well.

Here is the solution: just treat everyone with respect, as much as you possibly can, period. Ultimately, that is all that matters, and all you can control is your own behavior. That is what I do, because all journeys begin with the first step.   I don't always succeed in being respectful to everyone, but that's because of me, not the person that I am interacting with.  I am a work in progress, as are we all.  

Treat everyone with respect.  Not easy to do, but nothing good ever comes easy.  I know that people will say that I am over simplifying, and that I am missing the big issues here. But if we don't start with the most important thing, respect, none of the rest will matter.

*steps off soap box*