The State of Undress

We have been having a long running "discussion" with my son. When Zane was younger, clothing was essential; everybody had to be dressed. He even chastised characters on television if they weren't fully clothed.

Then my son decided that he wasn't going to wear any clothing at all. Since they frown on this at most public places, we informed him that he could not go out of the house naked. We stuck to our guns. That seemed to work for a bit. Zane has now decided that clothing is optional. As soon as he enters a home, he immediately strips to his skivvies, even if the home in question is not his. This has certainly made the idea of attending children's birthday parties more interesting.

Is this stripping a guy thing? My husband doesn't run around the house naked, but as soon as he walks in the door after work, he strips down and gets "comfortable". I've heard similar stories from other women about their men, enough to know that it is not just my house that strips. I don't know, nor have I ever heard, of this phenomenon occurring in women. I might change into shorts or my jammies after a long day, but I don't walk in the door and strip. I suppose that this tendency might reflect the generally positive body image that med seem to share. Or maybe it's all about comfort. All I know is that I sometimes get a little jealous of that ability to just throw off clothing and let go of the cares of the day.

We will leave clothes for Zane to put on, but odds are that my son won't be wearing them.

Instead, he will put on a hat. When we ask him about clothes, Zane exclaims that he is NOT NAKED! in a loud and proud voice.

Or he will put on just his shirt, and again point out that he is NOT NAKED.

One day, I came down stairs and he was wearing nothing but his backpack and shoes. He was ready to go to his grandma's house, he told me. I told him that he could not go outside naked.

"I not naked!" Zane asserted. And technically he was right--he was not naked.

I don't think that would have been enough for Grandma's tender sensibilities, but it might have been worth it to see the look on her face.

PMS for Three Year Olds

That is the only adequate term that describes what is going on with my child right now. He's driving us, for lack of a better term, batshit crazy.

One second he's laughing and happy.

The next he's thrown himself on the floor in a fit of pique.

Then he's happy again, as if nothing were amiss.

My husband or I will ask him something benign, such as "Would you like a cookie?"

"Noyes," will be the reply.

What?

"Yeno."

I'd ask him if he plans to run for office, but I'm afraid of the answer.


This morning, he marched into the kitchen and demanded bacon. Bacon.

"Zane, you just ate two biscuits and a waffle. How can you still be hungry?" I was mystified. Zane was adamant; he must have bacon. He even said 'please'. Twice.

So I made him bacon, and told him to come to the table to eat it.

"I don't want bacon," my child told me.

"You just said that you wanted bacon. You came in here and specifically asked for it."

"I don't want bacon," Zane repeated.

I actually face-palmed. I've never done it before, but it's quite possible that I will be doing it a lot from now on. I have a sinking feeling that this is but a shadow of what the teenage years will be like.

I may ask my doctor to prescribe valium for Larry and I when Zane hits puberty.

Declaring Independence

My son spent almost two hours this morning trying to put his own pants on. Zane was extremely determined to do this one task, and did not at all appreciate any help from either Mama or Daddy The one time I tried to help him resulted in a screaming hissy fit. Zane wants to be independent, and we are willing to let him try.

Finally, Zane stood up...and promptly fell down. Why? Because he put both legs through one of the pant legs! I didn't have the heart to say anything, because Zane acted really proud of himself as he hopped around the living room. He did it all by himself!!! I'm proud of him, but a little sad as well.