Five Things

Five Thing You Don't Know About Me:
1. I am a book hoarder.  I know that's difficult to believe, but I have enough books in my house to fill a small library.  I can't help it.  I just love the feeling of holding a book in my hand, of turning the actual pages, and of highlighting my favorite parts.  Some people collect tiny spoons; I collect books.

2. I'm secretly correcting everyone's grammar/spelling.  When someone says a word incorrectly or uses an incorrect tense, it pops out like a big neon sign in my head. It just does. I don't want to be rude or condescending or anything that might hurt someone's feelings.  I just keep my mouth shut and just think about it. 

3. I was Girl of the Year once.  I used to volunteer at the Girls and Boys Club when I was in high school.  They elected me Girl of the Year. I'm still in shock  I have a plaque.

4. I do not collect Willow Tree angels.  My mother in law gives me a Willow Tree angel every year on my birthday and at Christmas.  They were cute the first couple of times, but I've moved on.  She's still buying them for me, and I have to keep them because she'll be hurt otherwise. 

5. I love cheese.  I don't really need to elaborate.

Five Things I Am Knowledgeable About:
1. Navigating Cancer.  After going through the diagnosis, the surgeries, the chemo, the radiation, I can say that.  Ask me anything!
2. Special Education.  It's my job, after all.  And I love working with special education kids!
3. Soccer.  Since my kid plays, I have had to learn. And I love the sport. 
4. The Walking Dead.  I've been watching since the beginning, PLUS I've read most of the comics.
5. Mel Brooks movies. I can quote Young Frankenstein practically word-for-word.   And I know all the in-jokes

Five Things I Know Nothing About:
1. Math.  You might as well be talking in Chinese.
2. Quantum Physics.  See above.
3. Woodworking. It looks easy, but it's really not.  Plus, I'm forbidden from using power tools as a result of my efforts. 
4. Internal combustion engines.  As far as I'm concerned, it's magic that my car starts and gets me from place to place.
5. Interior Decorating.  I like comfy, I like useful, but I'd like to be stylish.  Unfortunately, I suffer from paralyzing indecision when it comes to choosing colors, textures, etc.  I'd rather hire someone to do it for me. 

Five Things I Believe: 
1. Happiness is subjective.  Just because I'm not giggling and giddy doesn't mean I'm not happy.  I'm just not a demonstrative sort, but occasionally I crack a smile.  That doesn't mean I'm angry or sad.
2. Glenn is still alive.  There are other things still in store for Glenn, so don't count him out just yet.
3. Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone.  Enough with the conspiracy theories.
4. People just need to calm down. There's too much overreaction and not enough reasonable discourse.  It's all about political theater. 
5. Adults need to play more, work less.  Adults get too uptight these days.  There's nothing wrong with taking a few moments during the day to play, and we should respect that.  No mudpies, though.


Go read other bloggers over on Kat Bouska's Writers Workshop! 

Smile Even If It Kills You

The prompt for this fine day:  What makes you smile?  And this prompt also fits in great with the Secret Society of Happy People's Happiness Happens month, so it's all good. 



"Make yourself smile because you’re alive and that’s your job. then do it again the next week. I call it being professional. Do it right, with a smile, or don’t do it."  --Supernatural, season 7.


That quote got my attention when I heard it.  It comes from a character named Frank, and he is speaking to Dean Winchester about handling grief.  Frank's family was murdered, and this is how he is coping.  By smiling. 

That seems a bit crazy, on first inspection.

Why should you smile when you are unhappy?  After all, something horrible has happened, such as a death in the family.  It's normal to be sad on those occasions.  Everyone expects you to be sad, to cry, and do all those little things that come with the loss of a loved one.  Nobody expects you to smile or be happy about death, unless you've murdered your relative for a big fat check. 

But what if nothing horrible has happened?  What if you are just sad because it's Tuesday? 

Hormones get mixed up sometimes, and a surge of a particular hormone may make you feel sad.  You may just be tired or feeling lonely.  Routine ennui.  And that is just fine.  You can't help your feelings, right?  We take a nap, and we feel better.

Sometimes, however,  unhappiness becomes a habit.  We get used to feeling sad, and we start to enjoy that feeling.  We get a bit of attention.  Our loved ones start trying their best to make us feel better.  Our sadness gets us presents.  We like that.  In the efforts people take to 'cheer us up', there is reinforcement and validation.  At least at first.  After awhile, when we've become accustomed to our sadness, we end up alone. 

Nobody likes to be around someone who is sad all the time, no matter the reason, and that is just the plain truth.  Unhappiness can be a learned behavior, a habit.  Break the habit of sadness and choose to be happy by following the advice given in the quote above. 

Even if you're unhappy, smile. 

Smiling, even when you don't feel like it.  Eventually that smile will become a habit, and it will become a truth. When you smile, you can't really feel unhappy, and actions speak louder than words here.  If you keep smiling, eventually you will feel happy, too. 

The A-List: Things That Make Me Smile

It's August, and that means that it is time for Happiness Happens month, sponsored by the Secret Society of Happy People.   Go check them out and join in the fun.

Source: sohp.com via Tina on Pinterest

In the spirit of happiness, I decided to think about what makes me smile.  Smiling usually is a sign of happiness, right?  Well, mostly.  If a shark smiles, that's probably not a sign of happiness.  Unless the shark is happy that he's found lunch.  I am generally very happy when I have lunch in front of me, so why not a shark?  How did I get on the topic of sharks?  Back to the topic, which is happiness. 

Everyone wants to be happy, but a lot of people are confused about what constitutes happiness.  Yes, that feeling that you just won the lottery is happiness, but so is the pleasure you feel when you bite into the perfect peanut butter and jelly sammich.  Part of being happy is being in the moment, whether you are onstage receiving the gold medal at the Olympics or sitting in your favorite chair.  These are some of the things that can make me smile and bring me out of a dark mood. 

1.  Children laughing.   Having become a parent, I will be the first to tell you that children sometimes make you want to pull out all of your hair one strand at a time.  However, there's just something about the unfettered, directly-from-the-belly laughter that all kids exhibit that is just plain infectious.  When anyone laughs like that, there's no guile involved, no strings, no conditions.  That's just what kids do, and it is beautiful to hear.  Their joy in the world at that moment is complete, and that always makes me smile. 

2.  Cat purrs.  I love dogs, but cats are my favorite animal.  When a cat purrs, it is one of the most relaxing sounds in the world.  It seems to reverberate through your bones into that portion of your brain where the command to relax is hidden, and whacks that button with a big cat paw.  Purring is a sign of contentment, but it is also a method cats use to self-soothe.  I would love to be able to self-soothe without resorting to eating every piece of chocolate in sight.   When  cat purrs, all is right with the world, it seems. That makes me smile.

3.  Music.   I have favorite songs that always make me smile, even if some of them are incredibly inane or politically incorrect.  Why not songs that make me smile?   Elton John's "This Song Has No Title", is a short song and seems to have been thrown onto the album to take up space--and yet it is one of my favorites and I smile every time I hear it.  "I'm All Right", otherwise known as the Caddyshack song, is completely silly--and I smile every time I hear it.  Sometimes I even dance, but don't tell! Maybe it's that adorable gopher.  I couldn't tell you why, but does it really matter?


4.  That first taste.  When I get up in the morning, I have to have something with caffeine in it, because I am not a crazy person who wakes up all cheerful and perky.  No, I am one of those incoherent Cave Trolls until I have my caffeine.  That first sip of coffee?  The feel of that bittersweet warmth as it hits my tongue and heads down my throat?  Heavenly.  That makes me smile.  But it's not just the first cup of coffee.  It's the first bite of a juicy hamburger, or the first drink of the wine you just opened.  Eating is pleasurable for me, and I like to savor when I can, because it makes me happy.

5.  Reading.   Not everyone can read, and not everyone wants to read.  I find that very sad, since reading opens up a completely different world to a person.  Escaping into a favorite book reduces stress and lets the mind breathe.  No other species has the brain capacity to learn to read.  Those neural pathways do not exist in other mammals, which means that being able to read is a gift.   When I was a kid, I would sit in my room and read for hours.  I have stayed up all night reading a good book.  I love to read.  It makes me smile.  And while I am reading, I am happy. 

Now it's your turn!  What makes you smile?

Optimism

Optimism doesn't sound like a happy word. It actually sounds like a word that has to do with eyeglasses. But there is no mention of eyeglasses in the dictionary under the word "optimism". The word is actually from the Latin, optimum, or 'the greatest good'. The word was originally referring to a philosophical doctrine that essentially said that this current world is the best possible world that could exist(thank you, Dictionary.com). Nowadays the meaning refers to a tendency to look on the bright side of life.

There is a tiny bit of self-delusion involved in maintaining a cheerful outlook, I am sorry to say. Nothing in life is always one way or the other, no matter what the gurus say. Things happen, life goes up, life goes down, and our moods go with it, not always happy, or even the least bit pleasant. Sometimes it's as if our lives are unfolding inside of one of those snow globes they sell to tourists in various cities, and someone has shaken that globe. Who would be happy about having their world turned upside down in such a way?

It is true that we always have a choice in how we respond to the things that happen to us. We can choose to be happy, no matter what, but that cannot happen without our overlooking or ignoring anything that might disturb the waters. No TV news programs. No reading the newspaper. And for gosh sakes, no talking to actual people! Nothing wreaks havoc on a happy mood like other people.

I am vaguely suspicious of people who are overly happy. People who always smile without a reason or are way too overenthusiastic about everything. People who act like they've won the lottery even at 7:43 AM when they've just been pulled over by a cop for speeding in a school zone. I just don't trust those too-happy people, because I know they are either being dishonest or heavily medicated. There seems to be an insincerity about those who are always so over-the-top cheerful, whether it is deserved or not. I feel like they are trying to sell me something. Am I the only person who thinks that?