Are the 80s back?

I feel as though the 1980s are repeating themselves, what with Russia acting the fool and trying to bully the rest of the world.  War, particularly the nuclear kind, was one of the main topics of conversation when I was in high school, right next to what Mr. Stant was teaching in senior English. The entire era of the 80s was all about the bombs dropping, end of the world, so party hard NOW.  Russia's at it again, it seems, and now my son is talking about Ukraine with his friends.  More horrible decision appear to be heading our way, mostly in the form of higher gas prices.  

Then I thought about all of the actual horrible decisions I made in the 1980s, including spiral perms and college Trash Can Punch. For the unenlightened, you buy a clean trash can and pour ALL of the alcohol in there, and throw in some Kool-aid for flavor.  If I remember correctly, the concoction tastes like nuclear waste of some sort.  The hangovers were ridiculously painful, and we all swore that we would NEVER drink that stuff again, just beer.  That promise was never kept, because generally the punch was free and the beer was not.  College was a time of frugality, after all.  

Other aspects of the 80s appear to be showing up in stores, such as the Little House on the Prairie dresses.  The show was all right, and maybe I had ONE dress that might have qualified as prairie-wear, but I looked as though I were dressed in a sack wearing it. Actually, I think the dress was made by Gunny Sak, so that makes sense. Not in the least bit attractive.  And what is with all the long hair with a middle part?  Is there some strange, poorly dressed cult out there that I don't know about?  Not that there's anything wrong with that, I suppose.  I just find it odd that women who are coming in to their own would enjoy looking like every other woman. 

Thankfully, Cabbage Patch kids have NOT made a comeback. 

My point is that maybe the 80s are better off in the past. It wasn't a horrible time, but I cringe now thinking about the decisions I made with my hair (like an accidental mullet), my fashion sense, and my social life.  It was a darn good thing that there was no such thing as a smart phone back then.  Perhaps everyone could just repeat the trends that were popular 100 years ago, instead of the 80s?  How about if we repeat the trends of the 1920s.  The Jazz Age, short haircuts, flappers, those cute little dresses with the fringe and the adorable hats?  Those were the bee's knees!  

  

 

  

WTF, Fashion Police?

Even though I've lost quite a bit of weight over the last three years, I'm still a big girl.   I accept my size, and tend to focus more on my health than my weight. And I'm not a fashionista, puzzling over various outfits for hours a day.  With a few exceptions, my shirt size is a 2x.  I buy random 2x shirts, so I can just grab one from the closet, dress as quickly as possible, and be out the door. 

Except that I can't do that anymore.

The gray shirt on top is a 2x.  The black shirt underneath is a 2x.  I could post more, but you get the idea.  The black shirt fits wonderfully, but the gray shirt presents a challenge for my boobs to fit in.  The gray shirt appears to be more of a large, and I would chalk it up to mislabeling, except that I am finding more and more "2x" shirts are not actually 2x, at least not in woman's sizes.  And there does not appear to be a rhyme or reason that you can rely on. 

What is up with that?  Is there rationing of cotton fibers that I don't know about?  Are we secretly reverting to the metric system?  What logic is behind randomly shrinking the sizes of women's clothing?  Wouldn't it make sense to have more accurate sizing?

This is a perfect job for the fashion police.  Instead of running around calling out women wearing plaid with stripes, they should be ticketing Fashion Row in NYC for felonious sizing.  And also for making people think that puce is coming back into fashion.  It is not even a real color.

Women already battle body issues.  We're already made to feel horrible about our size, our eating habits, and our life choices.  I hate looking at myself in a mirror, especially after all this cancer stuff.  I hate trying on clothes.  I especially hate trying on clothes when my son is along for the trip, asking me if I'm done yet, am I done yet, am I done now? Knowing that I was size 2x up top gave me a break, saved me time, and saved me from getting a complex.  I could think about other stuff, like whether or not hallucinations count in Pokemon Go.   Now I can't do that.  Some of these 2x shirts marketed to women fit my eight year old child.  The size difference is that big!  Don't even get me started talking about pants.   

Get your act together, fashion industry.  A size 2x should be consistent across the board, no matter the cut, style, or the fabric.  Same with a size 4.  It shouldn't be that hard to find decent sized clothes, and if things don't change, my money will be spent on other things. 

Beige, Like The Dress

Mamakat's World Famous Prompt:  2.) Share one of your biggest fashion mistakes.


It was the rehearsal dinner for my best friend's wedding, and it was being held at a country club/resort/spa/retreat in The Woodlands, Texas.  (Yes.  The actual city is called The Woodlands. There's a lot of trees there.)   Cathy was marrying up the food chain, and I was the Maid of Honor. 

My previous experiences at weddings included being a flower girl, a wedding singer...and a guest.  I had never been a Maid of Honor.  I was freaking out on the inside, and trying to remember not to drink too much.  I had spent weeks before the wedding trying to pick out a dress, trying on everything in my closet, going shopping, looking through catalogs, etc.  I finally settled on a beige column dress.  I wasn't thrilled about beige, but I felt that it was a good color for a rehearsal dinner.  I sucked in my tummy and tried to demonstrate good posture, and I had gone easy on the eye makeup.  I wanted to look understated, so I could blend into the crowd as much as possible and be my wallflower self.

No. No wallflower, Cathy said.

You're the Maid of Honor, Cathy said.

Mingle, dammit, she said, shooing me in the direction of the crowd.

So I went forth, into the mass of people.  I introduced myself.  I smiled.  I shook hands.  I made small talk that avoided politics and religion.  I felt very confident in my understated outfit.   I went around the room twice, then I found Cathy.  She was speaking with her father; he wobbled a little as he wandered off.  I touched her on the arm and she turned toward me, smiling broadly. 

 "My dad just told me that he had no idea that you had such a big ass," Cathy said, rolling her eyes.  She was laughing at her dad's inebriation, but I was broadsided.  My carefully chosen, understated dress?  Big ass?  I thought that my butt was proportionate!

I thought about bursting into tears and rushing from the room.  That would create some drama, but it would be great to get out of my social obligation for the rest of the evening.  I decided to get over myself(at least temporarily) and laugh it off.  After tomorrow, I would probably never see most of these people ever again.  What did I need to prove to them?

I laughed along with Cathy, and we shared a couple of glasses of wine and toasted our long friendship.  Then we waded back out into the crowd to mingle. 

I never wore that dress again, however.  Never wore beige again, either.  

A Maven I Am Not

Mamakat's Wonderful Prompt:  What’s your Summer Fashion? Share a favorite outfit you’re loving this Summer.


I live in Texas.  Actually, I live in South-ish, Central-ish Texas, which is not the same as living in the North-ish of Texas or the West-ish.  We won't discuss the East-ish portion.  My point here is that I live in a part of the world where it is hot 365 days of the year.  In this part of the world, a day with a temperature less than 80 is considered a hard freeze.  People who live here either get used to the heat, or they go back to where ever they lived previously and complain about how hot it is in Texas. 

The heat does cause some consternation for non-fashionistas like me.  (I used to care about fashion, but that was when I was younger, drank a lot, and believed that Cosmo knew what they were talking about.)  At home I spend hours in shorts and a t-shirt and don't even fix my hair or put on makeup.  Work presents a different problem. When I leave the house, I am required, by some arcane female laws that I don't fully understand, to look 'presentable'. 

It might be hotter than the surface of the sun outside, but inside the building where I work it is meat locker cold.  If I am dressed too summery, I end up turning a shade of blue that is sooo not my color.  I have to balance sweaty outside with ice cold inside, without resorting to a parka. Because that would be too weird. 

What is a woman clueless about fashion supposed to do? 

She resorts to a maxi dress!  Maxi dresses are very comfy.  It's like you're wearing jammies, except that you don't look like you're wearing your jammies.  Maxi dresses cover the legs so your cankles don't freeze.  They also cover up the fact that occasionally one might forget to shave their legs, or cover up their ankle tattoo that violates dress code. 

Add a summer weight sweater and I look downright decent.  Certainly I meet the dress code.  If I want to get more dressy, I add a belt and bracelets, earrings, etc.  But who wants to get dressy during the summer when it's so melty outside?  On the East and West coasts, maxi dresses are already last year's fashion, and that's okay.  What I care about is that I am comfortable in a way that doesn't scare small children.  This summer, and probably most of the fall,  maxi dresses rule.  For me, anyway!

***I couldn't take a decent picture of myself in the dress.  Sorry.