I got a call from my vet yesterday. The receptionist asked if we still had a cat named Morris.
"What?" I said. She repeated her question.
I said that he'd disappeared a week ago, and she told me that someone had found him!
There was much rejoicing.
Morris ended up about a quarter mile from our house if you take the drainage ditch behind it, and just around the corner if you take the sidewalk. Right around the freakin' corner. We still aren't sure how he got out of our yard, but we were even more surprised that he made it so far away.
The lady who found him was petting him under the chin when I got to her house. I said his name, and Morris perked right up. I put him in his carrier, which he did not like at all, and drove him home. He hissed the entire way--he associates the carrier with the vet.
As soon as he got home, he bee-lined for the food bowl. He randomly hissed at everything and everyone for a good hour, then made his way upstairs. He slept right next to me all night. He's been following me around ever since, just purring away. Zena greeted him and seemed happy to see him, but Pounce has totally flipped out. She has been under the bed ever since, but she could stand to lose a few pounds(so could I!), so I am not too worried.
He was very dirty, lots of grass wrapped up in his fur. You can feel the bones in his spine when you pet him, so he did not eat during his travels, but he did not appear dehydrated. I found that odd, since it's been about a thousand degrees outside, but that is ultimately why he survived, so it's all good. His back legs, never very strong to begin with, seem to have a more pronounced limp. He won't like it, but he has a vet appointment tomorrow, because I want to make sure he is okay.
My old friend is home.