My New Favorite Quote

I decided at some point last month that I needed a new quote.  I am always looking for awesome quotes; I write them down carefully and save them for quiet moments of contemplation.  My last quote was "When in doubt, reboot", but cancer isn't rebootable.  

I asked.  Twice, just to be sure. 

So that quote was out, at least for now.  The search was on for a new quote that was applicable to my current situation.  And the internet was happy to share its collective wisdom with me, in the form of advertisement.  I don't usually pay attention to ads, because they tend to be about how I can lose weight with "this one weird trick" or about how Ellen has been lying about something all these years. But my brain is genetically attracted to shiny things, and this caught my eye.  I  clicked on the ad to see what the full quote on the shiny bracelet might be.

"She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails."

Something about those words resonated within me. I'm not a sailor-type of individual.  I don't spend a great deal of time on the water or on a boat or anything.  But the idea of adapting to circumstances, no matter what they may be, means something to me.  I looked up the quote, and found that it came from Elizabeth Edwards.  She certainly epitomizes someone who has adapted to circumstances, what with all the drama she's had to go through.  And she is a model of resilience as well as of adaptability.  I can admire that.  I've made it this far in my life because I'm willing to adapt to the circumstances I find myself confronting.  That isn't going to change.

I mean to survive this latest adventure I'm on.  To survive I need to be adaptable to the circumstances I find myself in, just like I've always done.  I'm an emotional cauldron of anger, self-pity, anxiety, and general crankiness on most days.  Instead of curling up in a ball, I force myself to stand up, face whatever I have to, and get through it.  And that's what I am doing with this latest storm.  Except now I have this fancy bracelet with the inspirational quote to remind me to adjust my sails when the wind doesn't blow my way. 

Plus, it looks pretty snazzy on my wrist!   

The Next Generation

This is Zane and D, watching my nephew Tristan play soccer against St. Mary's University a couple of months ago.  D. is two days older than Zane, and they play on the same soccer team.  They've played on the same soccer team since they were three years old, and may continue to play together for years to come.  I didn't get to spend years and years growing up with other kids, because of the Army.  I don't harbor a grudge against Uncle Sam, but I don't really have a frame of reference on this aspect of my son's development. Part of me likes the idea of my son growing up with the same circle of friends.  I like the idea that he will build strong ties with other kids and will have that support system over the years.   I think that he will feel more secure and confident, because he will feel more comfortable.  I picture him playing soccer with D right up until high school graduation.  That's kind of cool, because I've never experienced that. 

On the other hand, I worry about stagnation.  Zane will grow up with the same exact group of students in his school each year until 8th grade, at least.  The same kids, the same personalities--the sameness bothers me.  One boy is already on Zane's "unfriend" list, and they're only in first grade.  Eighth grade will probably result in outright fisticuffs.  I don't necessarily see my son's learning and growth ultimately enriched by such sameness, although he does need to learn to get along with everyone, whether he likes them or not.  But I'm certainly no expert, since I did not have to deal with this situation.

Sometimes I wonder if things would be different, and if Zane would be better off in a public school. 

Diversity breeds open mindedness and adaptability.  I truly believe that my exposure to many different kinds of people and personalities over my school years prepared me better for life as an adult.  I became more proficient at meeting people, even though I am extremely shy.  I am more adaptable today because of our constant moving around.  I didn't have be everyone's best friend. I learned to stand up for myself.  I learned a great deal about people, and I learned more about myself. I think that I am more comfortable in my own skin as a result of my experiences. I am also more tolerant of the diversity of others, and accepting of different cultures, personalities, and lifestyles.

I want that for my son.  I look to the future, and diversity will be everywhere.  People who aren't able to adapt to change will not be successful, period.  I'd like to think that Zane will adapt, that he will be flexible and learn to get along with the times in which he lives.  But will he?  I can't say for sure.

How do you teach that?  Any ideas would be appreciated.