Forget the Honey, Bring the Laughter

At my old job, I was considered the technology guru in my department, because I was the only one who knew how to turn the laptops on.  I wish that I was kidding.  I had administrator privileges for my laptop, and everyone else's, because there was always someone 'breaking' something.  I was the 'fixer' for my department.  I would say that it was unbelievable what people would do to their computers in the span of their workday, but we've all read about the dude using his CD drive for a coffee mug holder.   I ended up doing a lot of hand holding.  One of my coworkers hit the 'esc' key so often that it popped right off, and I had to explain to her that that particular trick was not going to get anyone out of any meeting, ever, and we had a good cry.  I found myself sending out snippy emails to my coworkers about  "LAPTOPS ARE NOT ETCH-A-SKETCHES!"  Since I did not really want to be a technology department person, it got old, fast. 

The technology department where I work now is a vast network of randomly seen people who work tirelessly from their underground lair to make sure that our networks are up and running 24/7.  Hundreds of people that I never see are taking care of my computer needs, and it is wonderful.  Everything computer related has run like a dream for me, for the most part.  And when it doesn't, I simply...open a work order.  My work orders are written to make these techs smile.   I want to stand out. I mean, all they probably hear all day is complaining!  Nobody likes to deal with that.

So I go for the funny. For example: 

Java keeps saying that it needs to update, but it does not update. It is a sad tale.  Not "Han Solo dies" sad, but more "Jar Jar Binks exists" sad.  Is there something I can do for this? 

Or this one:  
My internet connection in my office keeps fading in and out.  I have tried restarting, using a cord, and begging.  Nothing has worked.  Most of the work I do is in an online format, and I have lost a report today.  It took me three tries to send this request! Needless to say, I am very frustrated, and have eaten all of the chocolate I keep in my office for emergencies. I am about to sacrifice a live chicken. Please help!

I could complain loudly.  I could call the technology department every name in the book and demand that they rush over and take care of me.  But as they say, you catch more flies with funny than whining.   I love those men and women who take care of my technology and keep the Skynet plans out of circulation. After I hit send, I step out of my office for some coffee or to find a teacher.  Someone comes and fixes everything, like those mysterious elves who like to make shoes.   

I wish I could find those guys.  

Time For Some Random

Indeed.  My thoughts have been all over the place lately. My brain is having a touch of the spring fever, flitting around like the finest grains of pollen, infesting the airways of the masses.

My nemesis?  Hackberry.  Look, there's a cough RIGHT in the name of the darn tree!  And I do hack quite a bit when hackberry is in bloom.  Sometimes I even lose my voice from hacking, to my husband's delight. 

We are supposed to be getting rain today, and that would be great news, since it would not only wash all of the pollen out of the air, it would clear out most of the smoke from the farm fires in Mexico.  Those guys feel that it is most cost efficient to burn their fields instead of plowing the chaff under.  I can understand their logic, as most Mexican farmers do not own the expensive equipment that American farmers spend tons of cash on.  However, all that burning creates a smoke cloud that travels north every year and makes the outdoors exceptionally hazy.  The only time the air appears hazier is when the dust from the Sahara travels across the freakin' Atlantic and shows up here.  Think about that a moment.  Sand from another continent ends up in America all by itself, with no help from the usual suspects like shipping containers and errant tourists.  They can even track it on satellite! That's fascinating, at least to a nerd like myself.

I've been having feelings of anxiety lately.  No reason, at least not any that I can figure out.  I love my job, I'm not in trouble, my husband and son continue to be adorable, I'm in the best health I've ever been. So why do I suddenly find myself thinking that something is wrong?  And of course, once you start thinking such a thing, you can't stop for awhile.  It's a loop that plays the same lines over and over inside your head.  It's annoying.  Since there does not appear to be an actual legitimate cause, my brain is already going down a list of things that it might be, such as my thyroid or menopause and what have you. Because that is SO helpful!

My husband and I have been having an argument discussion about what constitutes yelling. I tend to raise my voice when I want to be heard.  It's a habit born of years of people overlooking me, brushing me off, and disregarding my perspective.  If I didn't speak loudly, I wouldn't have been noticed.  I am not nearly as bad as I used to be, of course, but since I do the least amount of talking in the house, occasionally I feel that have to speak up a bit louder than the others.  And raising my voice while speaking firmly is one of two signals to my child that I mean business. I do not actually yell, though.  I just get chastised for yelling often. My husband, on the other hand, speaks several decibels above normal. That is his normal speaking voice, and since I know that, I rarely say a word about it, and neither does Zane.  It bothers me that I am not afforded the same courtesy, and I am also concerned that we will all need hearing aids before long. 

Anyway, thanks for visiting and listening to my little rants about nothing.  Have a great day and visit Stacy over at her place.   She always has something interesting going on!