Random Thoughts for The New Year

Do not adjust your computer screens.  That is indeed me,brave enough to use absolutely NO filter, with my faithful sidekick Bella.  Yes, we all serve a purpose, and today my purpose is to be a cat tree.  A meaningful task, if you're not allergic to cats.  Cats don't just trust anybody to be their cat tree.  You have to earn that privilege, by not completely freaking out when the cat attempts to jump onto your shoulder and hangs onto your back by its claws before scrabbling up to your shoulder.  Luckily, I was still in a non-caffeinated state of consciousness, and barely felt a thing. 

**The social media is full of optimism today, as everyone makes resolutions and goals and promises about weight loss, health, exercise, money, relationships, etc. The thick layers of hope being rolled out is a wonder, and I remember the line from Star Wars, that all rebellions begin with hope.   I don't usually do resolutions, because I tend to forget them about halfway through the month of January.  Then I have a guilt trip about forgetting, which is something that is completely out of my control.  Guilt doesn't really have much of a positive connotation, does it?  But it is not completely useless, because it keeps us from engaging in activities which might harm others.  Perhaps it would be best if I vow to not feel guilty over things that I cannot control.  Or perhaps I should send my leftover guilt to the current occupant in the White House, who seems to have none? 

**You never know what will create a community. Having gone through cancer brought me to one community. The Comedy Central game show Beat the Geeks gave me another.  A love of all things The Bloggess spawned an entire tribe of wonderful people, #TheBloggessTribe.  I've been a fan of Jenny Lawson for some time, because she is funny and she makes me laugh in the same way that Stephen King makes me hide under the covers. It's beautiful to find that she is using her superpowers for good, instead of evil.  My panic attacks have subsided for now, but when I needed them, the Tribe was there, even though I mostly just lurked.  Maybe in this new year, I should do more than just lurk.  I don't lurk at work, or in my home life, after all.  I can't just hide behind the fridge, like Buster from Arrested Development.  Yes, I watch too much television. 

**We are having a hard freeze here in the San Antonio area, which is hard to imagine.  It's below the magical number 32, and it will be that way until at least Wednesday. I share the opinion of many in this area that if it is going to be this cold, it should snow.  It should snow at least a foot, and should hang around a bit before melting.  That way, we can ride pieces of cardboard down the hills, and throw snowballs until our fingers get numb.  Yes, we had a little snow in 2017, but it's 2018.  Bring us more. 

**I need is an exercise routine that works on building muscles and endurance, but only takes 30 minutes. And is also very close to my house. And doesn't cost a ton.  I want to be more active, but not if it is inconvenient. I've decided to do another 5k this year, since I survived the first one.  Bring on the next.  And somewhere in all this cancer mess, I lost my "quiet place", where I used to visualize walking through a green forest.   I would like to find that place again. 

**So in this year of 2018, let us resolve to be kind.  Let us buy coffee for others in the drive thrus, and buy a senior citizen's groceries, if we can.  Let us also smile at others.  Ask how they are.  Make connections with the world, when you can.  Build up the community around us.   I have a feeling that we will need it. 

The Smackworthy Of 2016

For the past few years, I've made a list at the end of December of people who just need one of those smacks upside the head.  You know what I'm talking about--a smack that reboots the brain, makes a person think twice before opening their mouth one more time.  I got quite a few smacks upside the head growing up, when my behavior stepped over the line. I can't help but think that others would benefit from such efforts. Boy, has this been a year for smacking!  I almost don't even know where to start.

Yes I do. It will be difficult to narrow it down to just five after this year, but I will try.

1. Donald Trump.   Just no.  Maybe I could have just sucked it up and dealt with it, like I did George W. Bush. But no. This is a guy who was elected by the known efforts and interference of a foreign country. That sticks in my craw, as it should for every American. We were founded because we did not want any "foreign" interference in our lives, fer cryin' out loud!  A guy who specifically ASKED a foreign country to interfere in the election, and seems proud of that?  I doubt that Trump makes it a year before he's impeached for treason or corruption, which will waste millions of taxpayer dollars that could be spent on something more important, like paying down our debt. 

2. The People Who Voted For Donald Trump. Seriously?  What were you thinking?  Were you thinking at all? Forget all that "Hillary is the Antichrist" propaganda.  If you felt that strongly about Hillary, there were TWO other suitable candidates running in most states, and you could have written in anyone you wanted.  Any. Other. Candidate. A tree stump would have been a better choice.  Now we will all have to live with this, because we live and die as a country, no matter what the secessionistas say. I could be petty about it; if things tank, it's all on the Republicans, and their party will not survive.  But I don't want that for my country.  Let's just hope that we don't end up in a war with China, and that the economy doesn't completely tank as a result of all this.

3. Vlad.  Rule #468: Never, ever, EVER, trust a dude named Vlad.  Remember what happened with that Impaler guy?  I give Putin props, because he's obviously very smart and a very strategic thinker to have survived so long as a politician in Russia.   He wants to reduce the reputation of the United States and build up the reputation of Russia.. Instead of messing around with other countries in a massive game of Risk, however, Putin needs to start paying attention to his own country.  And I don't just mean by imprisoning or killing people that disagree with him, as some people say.  When everyone in Russia has a place to live, food to eat, and everyone there is able to work for a living and pay taxes, then we can talk about Russia being the top of the pile.  

4. People Who Insist that Cancer Is Cured By Eating Right.  I have the BCRA1 genetic mutation. If you have a mutation, it's not if, it is when.  Drinking special water isn't going to change that, and it's wrong to give someone false hope by giving them incorrect information. These people are preying on others to make a buck, and they need a smack.  I would absolutely love it if all anyone had to do is eat a few spears of broccoli a day to keep the cancer away.  That would be awesome, and I can't think of a single person who has had cancer who wouldn't join me in celebrating such an event.  The fact is that there are many, many, many different forms of cancer, and each cancer works in its own unique way. Some cancers are caused by viruses, some are genetic, some are work related.  What works for one form of cancer does not work for others, and eating veggies or whatever vitamins they are selling today is not going to change that. 

5. 2016 in general.  There's been quite a few wonderful things that have happened for me in 2016.  I'm done with my surgeries and cancer treatments, or at least most of them.  I've paid off almost all of my medical bills. My husband is wonderful. My son is healthy and happy.  I have a good job that I love, and work with good people.  But darn it if 2016 wasn't just the drunk and obnoxious neighbor who refused to leave the party.  Just when I thought the headlines couldn't get any worse, they did.  People were hateful to each other, and gleefully so. Kindness was at a premium, while insults were spewed out like vomit.  And so many unexpected deaths.  David Bowie. Prince. Gene Wilder. Debbie Reynolds.  Even Princess Leia didn't escape 2016's manhandling, and that was somehow impossibly sad.

Enough of that.  Here comes 2017.  As the Facebook quiz told me, "Don't look back, you're not going that way."  May we all have all the happiness we can handle, and may our joy spread throughout a world full of kindness and hope.

If I Were The Queen of The World

My name is Tina, and I am a daydreamer.  I can't help it.  If I sit still for more than three minutes, I'm off somewhere else in my head.  Stand me in a line longer than four people, and I'm fading in and out of reality, because quality time in my head is so very much more fun than listening to the fifty conversations going on around me.  I don't need ear buds playing my favorite songs to zone out, I just need my imagination.  I've even been known to zone out in the middle of conversations, when my brain grabs onto a passing word and takes flight.

A wonderful thing about daydreaming is that I can be the star of the show.  The world can revolve around me, the warp and woof of the world bending to my whims.  I am Queen of the World; if I want the sky painted purple, I merely have to wish for it.  As Queen of the World, I could issue an edict demanding that smiling on Mondays was forbidden, and frowning on Tuesdays was not.  Poverty?  Eradicated.  Cruelty to animals?  Gone.  Republicans?  Poof!

Whether my eyes are open or closed, inside my head there are vast rooms filled with treasures.  In my daydreams, I can summit Everest and touch the belly of a 747 as it flies over me. All of the characters from my favorite books are alive and well and dancing on my front lawn. Well, Dumbledore and Gandalf are still arguing which of them is the best, but they always do that. 

Time has no meaning in daydreams. I can fly to Europe in the blink of an eye, and dance between the slabs at Stonehenge.  I can have tea with Queen Elizabeth, the very first one, with her bright red hair and pale face.   Napoleon can tell me stories of his exploits even though I don't speak a word of French.  Meeting heads of state is a cinch in a daydream. Walking the red carpet is too.  Unilateral world peace and prosperity is within my grasp.  Of course, reality does eventually intrude, and sooner or later my flight of fancy must land me right back where I was, standing in a long line, or sitting through another staff meeting. 

I am still grateful for the small mental vacations.

And what if more people were daydreamers?  What if more people let their imaginations take them for a spin?  What if more people found themselves out there in the clouds?  The world would be a more pleasant place, I think. That is my wish for all of you, for the beginning of the year 2014.  Have more daydreams.  Squeeze them in where you can(not while driving!), and let your mind take off for an adventure, at least until it is your turn to be at the head of the line. If anyone asks, tell them that the Queen of the World said so.