The Scream

I was five or six years old. We lived in El Paso, Texas. We were getting ready to go somewhere, so I was sitting on the couch waiting for everyone else. I can't remember if my brother was in the room with me, but my dad was somewhere else in the house.

My mother is walking to the door, talking to us. As she opens the door, the sunlight that spills joyfully into the living room blinds me and I put my hand up to cover my eyes. I can only see the lower half of my mom's body as she pushes open the screen door, and then she is screaming.

She is screaming and jumping around.

She is screaming, jumping around, and flailing her arms.

My mother is screaming, jumping around, and flailing her arms.

It is the first time I've ever heard my mother scream.

It is the first time I've ever seen my mother afraid.

It's the first time I've ever seen my mother go completely batshit crazy.

I'm fascinated.

My father rushes in by this time to save the day. A tiny garter snake had somehow climbed to the top of the screen door and fell on my mother when she opened the door. I was surprised that the poor snake hadn't keeled over from a heart attack with all the screaming my mother was doing. Once the snake was safely inside a coffee can with holes poked in the lid, my family went on about our day. The snake was later released somewhere which did not involve screaming housewives.

Autism is Not a Fashion Accessory

A few of the parents I meet in the course of a special education referral want their child to qualify for services as autistic. I've heard them discussing all the celebrities who have autistic children, and they seem to be excited about the possibility of a similar diagnosis. If it turns out that a child does not have autism, parents will sometimes argue with the school. Some parents will even take their child to doctor after doctor and spend lots of money just looking for one who will say the "A-word".

To these parents, I would really like to say, in as nice a way as I can, to just...stop it. (I actually would like to say something else, but I do like to have a paycheck.)

Autism is not cool, even if rock stars and actresses are on television talking about it. Autism is difficult. Autism is scary. The parents that I know who have children with autism do not feel "cool". They feel helpless a lot of the time as they struggle to help their child. They cry a lot. Autism, for these parents, is not glamorous; it is exhausting, difficult work that sometimes yields only tiny gains. Yet these parents struggle on because they love their children, not because they want to be 'cool'.

Please give those parents of autistic children the respect they deserve by not acting like their child is some sort of fashion accessory that they can take on and off like a watch. They can't, even if some of them wanted to.