Wednesday, January 13, 2021

I Was A Sexist Pig

I grew up fighting to be treated as an equal to men.  Not actually fighting, because that would be stupid. But I argued and cajoled and did whatever I could to be perceived as equal. I had quite a chip on my shoulder about it, as did a whole lot of women.   My fight was with the world, and I was determined to be as good or better than any man. If women weren't supposed to be in the locker room, you better believe I was IN that locker room, naked people be damned. This behavior only increased when I went to college in Texas and realized that if I wanted to date anyone I would have to "look" the part and act as unintelligent as possible. This was not a good fit for me.  If I could have persuaded somebody to let me be a bouncer at a honky-tonk dive, the movie Roadhouse would have looked very different. 

And I bought this book. I found this in a box in a closet I never open, and I am embarrassed.  I used to say things like "Men are idiots".  I think I even patted one on the head and told him he was a good boy. Okay, not just the one.  I thought it was funny then, but now it makes me cringe.  Because I was so busy thinking about my own equality that I forgot to think about others. It makes me want to curl into a ball, that I behaved that way.  Men are not dogs, or objects.  They are people.  If I want to be about equality for all, my actions should reflect that. 

With age comes wisdom, thank goodness. Equality is not just about me.  I try to treat others as I would like to be treated, but I don't demand it.  The other day my son and I had a discussion about the term "drama queen", and why using it might not be okay anymore.  Drama doesn't seem to have much to do with whether the person is male or female.  Zane pointed out that I had referred to him as a drama queen when he was younger, and I apologized to him on the spot. 

I am a work in progress, but that doesn't mean I can't do better.   



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