I've always played a "what if" game, thinking about what sorts of tattoos I would get if I wanted. Tattoos are permanent, for the most part. I wanted to make sure that I really, really liked the art work before I went to the trouble of paying someone to stab me multiple times with needle ink. I thought about an ouroboros, the snake eating its tail. I thought about a picture I saw in one of Elton John's more popular albums from the 1970s. The daydreams were pleasant, but not much came of them beyond the dreaming. I'm not the sort of person to just get drunk and end up in a tattoo parlor at two in the morning. As much of a committment-phobe as I am, I just couldn't see spending the cash. Well, the needle thing was kind of a deal breaker, too. Part of my reluctance to get a tattoo in the first place might also stem from not knowing how I will feel after the tattoo is finished. Buyer's remorse doesn't count after this sort of transaction, and even if you have the receipt, you probably aren't getting a refund.
And then I found this somewhere. Probably on the internet. It's a phoenix. I love the elegant lines, seemingly random. I identify with the phoenix, a mythical creature who dies, bursts into flames, and rises out of the ashes newborn. Not that I've died and come back, but I have survived a number of adverse situations. I'm still kicking, even after all this cancer fun. I just can't seem to decide where I should put this beauty. On my arm? My back? How big or small? More daydreams for now. I am going to be getting at least two tattoos this year. After my reconstruction and mastectomy is done, the plastic surgery people will be tattooing nipples on my new breasts. I will see how I handle getting those. If I can handle those, this tattoo may be in my future.
Unless something better comes along.