Monday, November 23, 2015

It's an Animal Thing

I drive quite a bit.  I like the feeling of moving along the road, with a view of green pastures on occasion. In Texas that's not a rare thing, even in a city as large as San Antonio. Small farms dot the landscape.  A strange thing happens to me when I pass a herd of cows.

I moo at the bovines.

I can't help it. I know that the cows can't hear me.  I know that they wouldn't care, even if they did.  They're cows, and more concerned with chewing than much else.  And knowing that doesn't mean a darn thing.  As soon as I see a cow, I moo at it.  This makes attending parties at ranches a bit awkward.

I've been doing this for years.  As long as I can remember, anyway.  I also bark at dogs, and meow at strange cats, but nobody comments on that.  I guess it is more socially acceptable to do that.  To moo at cows, on the other hand, is considered passing strange.

I was happy, some years back to find out that a name had been given to my malady.  Rich Hall, a comedian from the 80s, would make up words he called "Sniglets".  Among these I found the word "bovilexia", which is the uncontrollable urge to yell "moo" when passing a herd of cows.  That's it!  I thought.  And obviously, I can't be the only one who hollers at cows, since somebody up and made a word up to describe it.  What a relief, at least for me.  Not the poor cows, assaulted by the random 'moo' of passerby all day long.

Times have changed.  I've accepted my crazy. I even change it up on occasion.  These days, I pass other animals on my way to work, including goats, sheep, a llama and a donkey.  

I holler at the cows. "MOOO!!!" 

I holler at the llama.  "HEY LLAMA!!! WHAT'S UP?"

I holler at the donkey.  "YO DONKEY!!!"

I still holler at the goats and sheep, "BAA!", because sheep and goats don't have time for my shenanigans.


  1. As long as you don't moo I me. Whatever floats your boat. Thanks for the chuckle.

  2. I realized some time back that I was calling cars...vroom vrooms and dining rooms are now "diamond rooms". Too much time spent talking with a three year old and six year old over the years will do strange things to your vocabulary..

  3. Ha! Barking at dogs and meowing af cats is socially acceptable? You're too funny.

  4. Whenever I see cows, I am known to yell out "COWS!" My family just ignores me.


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