Monday, May 26, 2014

The First Cut

A perhaps unintended comment
A clean, deep slice, and
I cringe
As pain
Surges, rushing
From cell to cell
At the speed of an
Electrical pulse
To my heart
Before the first
Bright drop of blood
Begins to ooze
From the wound.

16 comments:

  1. Love how clean and crisp your language is in this. Just like the cut at the beginning. Nicely done!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Brilliant. People think words don't hurt but they can cut just as deep as a kitchen knife.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You cringe before the pain or the blood. This is so true when cut with a sharp blade or with sharp words. Well done.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sharp words hurt deeper and are slower, harder to heal than the obvious slash of a knife.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Love your description here.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I love this "biology" imagery and the how the rhythm reflects the sense of the poem.

    ReplyDelete
  7. "Surges, rushing from cell to cell"--I love this line because it describes not only the speed with which words can hurt us but also the sometimes all-encompassing enormity of the hurt.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I love the way this spread, and all that pain from an unintended comment too. Wonderfully portrayed.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Nice imagery. I saw the cut, and I felt the pain.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Wow, this is beautiful, crisp and heartbreaking, all at once.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Sad and yet, so beautiful. Words can cause a lot of pain...

    ReplyDelete
  12. Love how you make it all about the cut, but how the hurt comes straight from the heart. < 3

    ReplyDelete
  13. I like the way you've ordered things here: the cut, the cringe, then the pain, and finally the blood. It's a perfect metaphor for what words do to us. Great job! Thanks for gargleblasting with us again this week!

    ReplyDelete

I welcome comments, but reserve the right to correct your spelling because I am OCD about it!