Since the spring soccer season is about to start, we headed into the local Soccer Factory to try on cleats. Zane is way more a fashionista than I could ever be, and he's all about the soccer shoes. His favorites are usually whatever Lionel Messi is wearing, but as his parent, all I care about is whether they fit correctly and cost less than the GDP of Ecuador.
As we walked inside, I noticed these HUGE shoes.
They were obnoxiously large. As in, that is a full-sized soccer ball underneath that cleat. I hope that those shoes weren't actually intended to fit anyone, because I cannot even imagine how tall a person would have to be in order to have a foot that large. Would it even be possible for someone to survive if they were that huge? The amount of food needed to support such size would be astronomical, not to mention finding clothing that fit.
Now that I think about it, nothing would fit for this person. Not a single chair would be able to hold their weight. No bathtub would be big enough. And forget trying to use a regular sized toilet! Poor guy. He wouldn't be able to go anywhere--no school, restaurant, or even church would be able to accommodate his size. He would be an outcast, not because of anything he did, but because of his enormity.
I was starting to feel a little sad for my imaginary person, with his gigantic shoes, until I asked one of the sales people whether the shoes on display belonged to actual people. He assured me that there were no naked giants out there looking to buy soccer cleats. That eased my free wheeling imagination a great deal.
This is just one more reason why I'm better off just shopping online.